A Message from the Ministry of Dreams －夢省からのメッセージー

You have bought your regular lottery ticket.  You don’t expect ever to win big, but it helps you to dream.  If only…

Your phone buzzes and you check the message.  It is from the state owned lottery provider.  It is a notification of a win.

“Congratulations!  You have won 100,000,000 Yen!” 

100 million Yen!  You can’t believe it.  Miracles do happen.  You could buy a house, a sports car, a yacht. 

Hold on a second, there is another message coming through on your phone. 

“The state lottery provider would like to offer its sincere apologies for sending a message to you in error.  Due to a technical fault, the prize money sent in our last communication was inaccurate.  You have in fact won 10,000 Yen.  Congratulations!” 

Something like this actually happened in Norway this week.  The Norwegian state owned lottery provider allows Norwegians to buy tickets for the Euro Jackpot lottery, which is based in Germany.  So the prize money to be provided to Norwegian winners has to be converted from Euro Cents into Norwegian Kroner.  The prize money was supposed to have been divided by 100, but was accidentally instead multiplied by 100.  So the amount that prize winners actually got was 10,000 times smaller than the amount they were told that they were going to get. 

Scrap the purchase of a house, sports car and yacht.  I think I need a 10,000 Yen bottle of whisky instead. It helps me to dream… 

Don’t Let the English See －イギリス人に見せないで－

“para Ingles ver”

for the English to see

a Brazilian Portuguese idiom 

I have been reading a book called “Brazil” by English travel writer, Michael Palin. 

Palin mentioned an interesting idiomatic expression used by the Brazilians, which literally means “for the English to see”, or “for the eyes of the English”. 

The expression is used to indicate that something looks good on paper, but can be ignored in practice.  For example, a company which is exploiting its workers might write in the employment contract that everyone will be paid extra for working overtime.  But that is just for the eyes of the English.  In actual fact, the company lets everyone know that they are expected to work overtime for nothing. 

I laughed when I first heard the idiom, because it seems to encapsulate a stereotype of the English as bureaucratic and the Brazilians as easy-going.  But the origins of the expression are not funny.  In the 19^th century, Britain was the most powerful country in the world.  After making slavery illegal in the British empire, they tried to prevent other countries from buying and selling slaves too.  In the 1830s, Britain insisted that Brazil end slavery.  And so they agreed, for the eyes of the English.  In other words, they superficially agreed to end the slave trade, but it continued quietly.  Slavery was finally abolished in Brazil in 1888.

 

Vocabulary:

to encapsulate something – to express the essential features of something in a short form

[eg., The final sentence encapsulates the theme of the book.]

superficially – only on the surface

[eg., Superficially, it looks like a good deal.  But when you look at the details you will see why it is actually not such a good deal.]

 

A Thirst for the Red Stuff －赤いものへの欲望－

I recently finished reading a book about the history of the samurai period in Japan.  One interesting story from the period was of swords supposedly cursed.  These Muramasa blades were said to thirst for blood.  The madness of their maker’s mind had been passed on to the soul of the sword.  If the blade was unsheathed, it would not allow itself to be sheathed again without tasting blood, sometimes influencing the wielder to commit murder or suicide with the blade in order to satisfy its bloodlust. 

A master swordsmith of the 16^th century founded the Muramasa school of swordsmiths, which created a number of fine blades.  These Muramasa swords were of excellent quality, and were thus popular among the high ranking samurai of the Tokugawa clan around the time of Ieyasu (1543 – 1616).  Coincidentally, a number of relatives of Ieyasu were killed or injured by Muramasa swords.  His grandfather was killed by one in battle, his father was stabbed by one, and his first son was beheaded by a Muramasa blade as a mercy stroke after he had committed seppuku. 

The legend of the curse seems not to have started with Ieyasu himself, who owned two Muramasa swords.  The legend appears in the 18^th century.  The swords became associated with ill fortune for the Tokugawa clan in particular, and thus became desirable items for enemies of the shogunate.  Many kabuki plays stressed the madness and bloodlust that the swords would cause to their wielder. 

Some people may not believe in the curse.  They may say, “It is just a coincidence that one type of sword killed several members of one family.  There is no need of a supernatural explanation.” 

But I am not so sure.  I have seen cursed items before.  I have a cursed wine glass, for example.  Once taken out of the cupboard it will not let itself be put back until its thirst for the red liquid has been quenched.  And people say it drives the person who holds it to madness…

 

Vocabulary:

to be cursed – to have a magical power which brings harm rather than good to the user

[eg., That cursed ring brought bad luck to all those who wore it.]

to unsheathe a blade – to take a blade such as a sword out of its protective covering, ready for use

[eg., Samurai were forbidden to unsheathe their blades inside Edo Castle.]

the wielder (of a sword) – especially of a weapon, the person who holds it

[eg., King Arthur was the wielder of the sword named Excalibur.]

bloodlust – an uncontrollable desire to kill or seriously injure

[eg., Upon seeing his enemy, the warrior’s bloodlust rose, and he charged to attack.]

to quench (a thirst) – to satisfy one’s thirst by drinking

[eg., On a hot day, he stopped at a vending machine to quench his thirst with a bottle of water.]

 

 

A Very Modest Old Clock －とても謙遜した古時計－

I recently listened to an old BBC documentary, made in 1975, about the Glasgow subway (also sometimes called the Glasgow underground).  The documentary was made to celebrate the quaint and old-fashioned nature of the subway before it was upgraded and improved.  Those upgrades were indeed carried out between 1977 and 1980. 

I learned a number of interesting things about the history of the subway, despite being born in Glasgow myself.  As the documentary said, many Glaswegians know little about the subway, because it is so small and limited in the places it can take you.  There is only one line, which goes in a circle both clockwise and anticlockwise.  The full line runs for only 10.5km, and has 15 stops.  It takes a grand total of just 24 minutes to make a full circuit and return to your starting point.  Two of the stops are so close together that it takes the train only 52 seconds to get from one to the other. 

The Glasgow subway is the third oldest in the world.  London’s underground was opened in 1863, and Budapest’s and Glasgow’s subways were both opened in 1896, with Budapest’s opening a little earlier.  At the time of the 1975 documentary, some of the same train carriages were being used as had been first used in 1896.  It is no wonder that the train ride was famous for its “shoogle,” or swinging side to side movement as the trains progressed. 

Because there is only one line, the tracks are not very deep under the ground.  The subway would not make a very good bomb shelter.  In 1942, a German bomb landed on the ground above the subway tunnels, damaging them, and forcing the temporary closure of the line for repairs.  Entrance from the ground level to the shallowest of the station platforms involves walking down just 32 steps. 

A single adult ticket on the Glasgow subway now costs one pound and eighty pence, or about 350 Yen.  That’s very good value for a ride on a living museum piece. 

Vocabulary:

to be quaint – attractively unusual or old fashioned

[eg., Look at that quaint old windmill.  Let’s take a photo!]

to shoogle/ a shoogle – a Scottish slang word, which can be used as a verb or a noun.  We can also use the adjective “shoogly”.  If something shoogles, it sways or wobbles, especially dangerously or unstably.

[eg., A common expression is “His jacket is on a shoogly peg,” literally meaning that his jacket is in danger of falling off an unstable hook, but used to mean that his position or job is unstable and in danger.]

 

A big Appetite

There was an unusual story from Thailand this week.

An elephant managed to escape from a nature reserve.  He wandered 1km away from the park entrance, and went into a corner store.  He then started stealing groceries from the shelves to eat.  He managed to grab nine bags of sweet rice crackers, one sandwich and one banana. 

Perhaps the elephant had heard about the growing popularity of cashless payments? 

I also worry about this elephant’s diet.  Surely a healthy elephant should choose nine bananas and one bag of sweet rice crackers as a snack, not the other way around? 

Congratulations to the impressive corner shop staff members, who bravely shooed the elephant out of the store.  That is one customer I wouldn’t like to make angry.

 

Vocabulary:

to shoo an animal or person (out, away, etc.) – to drive an animal or person (away, out, etc.) by making “shoo” sounds or gestures to encourage them to leave

[eg., a bird was attracted by my lunch.  So I waved my hand at it and tried to shoo it away]

 

How to Save 50 Pounds on Arrival in Turkey －トルコ到着時に50ポンドを節約する方法－

 “Please keep your seatbelts on until the plane has come to a complete stop, and the ‘Fasten Seatbelts’ sign has been turned off.” 

Your plane has successfully landed, and it is now moving slowly forwards to the place where it will park and let the passengers disembark. 

“Nobody will mind if I just unfasten my seatbelt and grab my bag from the overhead locker, so that I am ready to leave, will they?” you think. 

Well, if your plane has landed in Turkey then you are wrong.  Turkish authorities have just introduced a fine of around 50 Pounds for any passenger who unfastens their seatbelt before permission has been granted.  Apparently, more and more people have been ignoring the instruction to wait. 

I must admit that I have unfastened my seatbelt early myself.  After sitting in a plane for hours, you can almost taste the freedom of the outside world.  But if you think rationally about it, it is silly to rush off the plane as fast as possible, only to have to wait for another hour at the baggage reclaim area, hoping to catch a glimpse of your suitcase.

 

Vocabulary:

to disembark – to leave a ship, aircraft or plane

[eg., Please inform the cabin crew if you need some help to disembark.]

 

Vincent’s Ear －ヴィンセントの耳－

“

Starry, starry night,

Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,

Swirling clouds in violet haze,

Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue.

 

Colours changing hue,

Morning fields of amber grain,

Weathered faces lined in pain,

Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand.

”

From the Don McLean song, “Vincent”

 

I was discussing Vincent Van Gogh today with an acquaintance.  Inevitably, we discussed the most striking incident in the painter’s life, in which he cut off a part of his ear. 

“Why did he do it, do you think?” she said to me.  “Wasn’t it after an argument with Gauguin?” 

“I think you might be right,” I said.  “What I remember is that after cutting off a piece of his ear, he gave it to a woman called Rachel.” 

That made me wonder what Rachel thought about it all. 

“What’s that, Vincent?  Is it a surprise present for me?  You shouldn’t have!”  … “Vincent, you really shouldn’t have.” 

Poor Rachel must have been nervous any time her birthday or Christmas came round.  “Let’s not exchange presents this year, Vincent.  How about just eating a chocolate cake.  Don’t go to any trouble to get me a present.”

 

Vocabulary:

to blaze – to burn fiercely or brightly

[eg., A warm fire is blazing to keep out the winter cold.]

a hue – a colour or shade

[eg., He painted the sunrise in many different hues of red and pink.]

to be striking – attracting attention because it is unusual or stands out

[eg., Her dyed pink hair is very striking.]