Ghosts at the Door ードアの外にいるオバケー

It is nearly Halloween and the ghosts are running about.  Ghosts frighten the living, but in reality they are easily scared themselves.  So we tell scary stories at this time in order to make the ghosts stay away. 

Here is a very short story for Halloween. 

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All human beings on the face of the Earth have died in a terrible plague, except for one – you!  Imagine yourself sitting on the sofa in your little apartment in your vast, empty city.  It is oddly quiet, with no trains running and no traffic rumbling.  How do you feel on the third day on your own?  You are eating a packet of crisps raided from the local convenience store, and staring at the wall.  You try not to remember the faces of the bodies you saw when you went to pick up the packets of food.  What will life be like as the last human on Earth?
You sink back deeper into your sofa, then you sit up sharply at a sudden noise.  It is a knock at your door... 

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This is based on an even shorter story by Fredric Brown, written in 1949.  His short, short story is, “The last man on Earth sat alone in a room.  There was a knock at the door...” 

Be careful of ghosts this week, and stay safe.  Think carefully before you answer the door.  Who knows what will be there?


Vocabulary:

a plague – a terrible infectious disease

vast – huge; very large

to rumble – to make a continuous deep sound, such as thunder

to raid something – to suddenly or quickly steal something, especially from a business

Being Bugged on the Train －電車で煩わされること－

I heard a strange story from a female student of mine recently. 

She told me that when she was standing on a packed commuter train, a man suddenly patted her on the shoulder.  She turned round and met his eye. 

“Excuse me, but you have something on your back,” he said politely, and smiled reassuringly.  “Can I touch your back to take it off?” 

The woman agreed, and she felt his hand on her back. 

When the train got to the next stop, the man said, “If you get off the train, I’ll show you what was on your back.” 

So she followed him off the train and onto  the platform.  He then showed her a huge brown bug, several inches long.  The woman squealed in horror and thanked him for getting rid of it.  Then she got on the train again and continued on her journey to work, wondering how such a bug could have gotten on her back. 

* 

Perhaps it is a totally innocent story of a good Samaritan politely helping a fellow train passenger. 

But I must admit that I felt a little suspicious.  Maybe the man carries a big brown bug around in his pocket and takes it out on packed commuter trains to stick to the back of female commuters.  It then gives him an excuse to touch them and strike up a conversation, and watch their reaction as they see the huge bug. 

“I’m going to touch your back now to take off the bug.  You might feel my hand, but stay calm.  O, no!  The bug has started running!  Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll catch it soon!” 

I hope my suspicions are unfounded.  But there are some strange people in the world, and especially on trains.


Vocabulary:

packed – very crowded

to meet someone’s eye – to make eye-contact with someone

reassuringly – in a way which makes others feel less worried

to squeal – to make a high-pitched cry

a good Samaritan – someone who goes out of their way to offer help to a stranger (from a story in the Bible)

to be unfounded – of rumours, suspicions etc., to have no basis or reason for existing

Tales of Consumption Tax Confusion －消費税の混乱話－ （ウィルの書いた記事がジャパンタイムズに掲載されました）

I wrote an article for the Japan Times this week about the recent consumption tax hike. 

I was very interested by the reactions of my students to the tax increase, and I heard some funny stories.  One of my students told me that she felt everyone was saving money by buying things before the tax increase, and she didn’t want to lose out.  She didn’t need to buy anything expensive, and the only thing she could think of to buy was toilet paper.  So on the last day before the tax was increased, she made three trips to the shops to buy multi-packs of toilet paper.  There were very long queues and the trips took an hour and a half in total.  She saved only 48 Yen altogether, and now has to store all the toilet paper in her little apartment. 

I got a shock when I bought a coffee and German dog in Doutor.  I have been going there on Friday mornings for years.  When I found out that it was 8 Yen more expensive, my heart started beating more quickly.  Perhaps the thought of losing 8 Yen every Friday morning caused a minor panic, or maybe too many hot dogs have given me a weak heart. 

You can read the full article here:
ジャパンタイムズ記事リンク

Vocabulary:

a hike – a sudden increase in price, cost, tax, etc.

to lose out – to be disadvantaged; to miss an opportunity when others can get it

Selling your Soul for a Pretty Tail －かわいい尾ひれのために自分の魂を売ること－

I wrote last week about Oscar Wilde.  So it is a good chance to introduce my favourite of his stories.  Here is an edited extract from, “The Fisherman and his Soul”.  I have simplified the language to make it easier for non-native speakers. 

A young fisherman falls in love with a mermaid he catches in his fishing net.  He wants her to become his lover, but she refuses.  She cannot love him because he, like other men, has a soul.  She agrees to be his lover only if he sends his soul away.  I once dated a girl like that too. 

 Anyway, the fisherman visits a priest to ask him to send his soul away from his body. 


Edited extract from, “The Fisherman and his Soul,” by Oscar Wilde: 

“I am in love with one of the sea-folk, and my soul is hindering me from having my desire.  Tell me how I can send my soul away from me.  For in truth I have no need of it.  Of what value is my soul to me?  I cannot see it.  I cannot touch it.  I do not know it!” said the fisherman. 

And the priest answered, “What’s this?  You are mad!  Or you have eaten a poisonous herb!  For the soul is the noblest part of man, and was given to us by God so that we nobly use it.  There is no thing more precious than a human soul!  It is worth all the gold that is in the world, and is more precious than the rubies of the kings.  Therefore, my son, do not think any more of this matter!  For it is a sin, that may not be forgiven.  And as for the sea-folk, they are lost.  They do not know good from evil.” 

The young fisherman’s eyes filled with tears when he heard the bitter words of the priest.  And he rose up from his knees and said to him, “Father, let me be like a deer, running in the forest.  How does my soul profit me if it stands between me and the thing that I love?” 

“The love of the body is vile,” cried the priest, knitting his brows.  The sea-folk are lost, I tell you.  They are lost.  For them there is no Heaven or Hell.” 

“Father, cried the young fisherman.  “You do not know what you say!  Once, in my net I snared the daughter of a king.  She is fairer than the morning star, and whiter than the moon.  For her body I would give my soul!  And for her love I would surrender Heaven.  Tell me how to send away my soul and let me go in peace.” 

“Away!  Away!” cried the priest.  “Your love is lost, and you shall be lost with her!” 

And he gave him no blessing, but drove him from his door. 

So the young fisherman went down into the marketplace.  When the merchants saw him coming, they began to whisper to each other.  And one of them came forth to meet him, and called him by name, and said to him, “What do you have to sell?” 

“I will sell you my soul,” he answered.  I beg you – buy it off me.  For I am weary of it.  Of what use is my soul to me?  I cannot see it.  I cannot touch it.  I do not know it.” 

But the merchants mocked him, and said, “Of what use is a man’s soul to us?  It is not worth a copper coin.  Sell us your body, as a slave!  But do not talk of the soul!  For to us it is nothing.  Nor has it any value for us.” 

And the young fisherman said to himself, “How strange a thing this is.  The priest tells me that the soul is worth all the gold in the world, and the merchants say that it is not worth a copper coin.”


Vocabulary:

to hinder someone from doing something – to make it more difficult for someone to do something

noble – having or showing good morals or fine qualities

precious - valuable

a sin – an immoral action; something disliked by God

vile – morally bad or wicked; dirty or nasty

to knit one’s brow – to frown; to let a negative emotion show by changing the shape of your face around your eyebrows

to snare something – to capture something in a trap

to surrender something – to voluntarily give something up

weary - tired

to mock someone – to make fun of someone; to laugh at someone

The Tweets of Dorian Gray, and the Portrait of a Chinese Vlogger －ドリアン・グレイのツイート、そして中国のユーチューバーの肖像－

“Sin is a thing that writes itself across a man’s face.  It cannot be concealed.”
“I am tired of myself tonight.  I should like to be somebody else.” 

There is only one thing worse in the world than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”

All from Oscar Wilde’s, “The Picture of Dorian Gray” (1890) 


Do you tell the truth on Facebook/ Twitter/ Instagram?  Or, if you use these or similar social media platforms, do you polish and clean the image of yourself that you present to the world?  Maybe you went on holiday and had a big argument with your partner, but posted only beautiful photos in which you are both smiling.  Maybe you posted a picture of your tastefully arranged living-room, but your bedroom and kitchen are in a total mess. 

Perhaps you are living a life similar to Dorian Gray.  In Oscar Wilde’s novel, Dorian Gray begins to live an immoral life of decadence.  But he remains young and beautiful, and all of his decadent actions instead affect the face of a portrait of himself that he has hidden in his attic.  Every ugly action he commits makes the portrait look uglier, but the public sees only his untouched, perfect face.  In other words, he can present one face to the world and keep his true face hidden away. 

Although the novel was written in the 19^th century, this is not dissimilar to our modern ability to present a beautiful face to the world through our social media postings, whilst the reality is very different.  There was a story in the news this week about a Chinese vlogger called Lisa Li who had more than a million followers.  She posted videos and pictures of herself enjoying beautiful travel experiences and eating gorgeous food.  But when Lisa’s landlord heard that the apartment she rented was extremely dirty, the landlord tried to contact her to ask for the apartment to be properly cleaned.  When Lisa could not be contacted, the annoyed landlord invited the media in to the apartment.  They found a filthy set of rooms with moldy food and dog excrement covering the floors.  Lisa’s hidden self-portrait had been revealed. 

Another theme of The Picture of Dorian Gray also seems applicable to modern social media.  One of the characters claims that there is no such thing as an immoral book.  For him, it doesn’t matter if the effect of writing the book is to damage innocent people’s reputations, or to cause pain and misery.  All that matters is that the book is beautifully written.  On Twitter, a huge amount of comments are negative or hurtful towards others.  Many people have decided that there is no such thing as an immoral tweet.  All that matters is that it is in some way funny, or attracts attention. 

Just never forget that, like Dorian Gray and Lisa Li, your private face will be exposed someday.


Vocabulary:

sin – immoral actions; crimes against god

to be concealed – to be hidden

decadence – moral decline; excessive indulgence in pleasure or luxury

an attic – a small top room in a house

a landlord – the owner of a rented property

filthy – extremely dirty or unclean

excrement – physical waste produced by the body

to be exposed – of a hidden thing, to be uncovered or revealed