What It’s Like for a Foreigner Going Blind in Japan －外国人が日本で目が不自由になるってどんな感じ－ジャパンタイムズに記事が掲載れさました

I have just written an article about going blind in Japan, which was published in The Japan Times.  I have heard that it has some cute illustrations.  Please take a look and tell me who is cuter – me or the character?

                                                  

[ウィルのジャパンタイムズの記事リンク　2020/2/27]

In the article I mention some of the interesting things which happened to me when I lost my eyesight.  I talk about nearly getting run over by a truck, being thrown out of a bar, beingsaved by a vending machine, and feeling a tingle of excitement when a civil servant suddenly holds my hands.

It is quite long, and probably difficult for non-native speakers to follow.  But at least you can enjoy the cute pictures.

Vocabulary:

to be run over – to be hit by a car or vehicle, and for it to drive over the top of your body

to be thrown out (of a bar) – to be forced to leave (a bar)

a tingle - a feeling when your nerves are excited, often feeling like pins and needles

Alexa, Throw 10 Billion Dollars Into a Huge Hole ーアレクサ、巨大な穴に10憶ドルを投げてー

Imagine that you had so much money that you could drop a billion Dollars down the back of the sofa, and completely forget about it.  That must be what it is like for Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, who is the world’s richest man.  He is estimated to be worth 130 billion Dollars.  This week he announced that he is planning to use 10 billion Dollars of his huge wealth to fight climate change.  I suppose that can only be good news.
                                                              

The 10 billion Dollar donation only adds up to around 8 per cent of the businessman’s total wealth.  What if he met you in a coffee shop and, impressed by your intelligence and good character, he decided to give you another 10 billion Dollars to help the world?  How would you spend the money? 

How about dividing the money equally amongst all people on the planet?  With 7.8 billion people currently living here, everyone would in theory receive a little more than 1 Dollar each.  According to UN statistics, more than 1 billion people live on less than 1 Dollar per day.  So the gift might not mean much to you or me, but a lot of people would be very glad to receive it. 

The problem with this idea is that it would be impossible to administer.  You would have to hire an organisation in every country in the world in order to distribute the money.  That would probably eat up most of the money on administration costs, and leave littleto give out.  Besides, you would give money to lots of people who didn’t need it, such as Queen Elizabeth and the Sultan of Brunei. 

So, instead of spreading the money really thinly, how about throwing everything into one huge hole?  The Channel Tunnel linking Britain and France under the English Channel has the longest underwater section of any tunnel in the world–23 miles. 

Unfortunately, the Channel Tunnel eventually cost 21 billion Dollars to build, and it was finishedin 1994.  In today’s money, 10 billion dollars could only build a smaller underwater tunnel, perhaps one quarter of the length.  Northern Ireland is about 12 miles from Scotland at its closest point.  Perhaps you could offer to build a tunnel half-way across, and hope that Britain finished the other half. 

I’m sure that there are smarter and more effective ways to make use of 10 billion Dollars than I have suggested.  If you have any good ideas, just tell Alexa, Amazon’s AI virtual assistant.  There are already more than 100 million Alexa enabled devices in the world.  And Amazon is using them to listen carefully to what people around the world want.  Why not make a good suggestion directly to Mr. Bezos?

Vocabulary:

a billion – 1,000,000,000

“He is estimated to be worth” – people guess that his total wealth is

a donation – money given as a gift, especially to charity

to eat up (money) – to use up money, especially wastefully

virtual – not physical, e.g. Only existing on the internet  or in a computer

(Alexa) enabled – with the ability to use (Alexa)

The Forgetful Gunman ー忘れっぽいガンマンー

There is a scene in the movie, “Pulp Fiction,” in which an assassin goes to someone’s house in order to murder them.  When he gets to the target’s house, he finds that no one is home, and the place is in a mess.  The target,who knows that a crime boss is angry at him, seems to have fled.  So the assassin relaxes, and goes to use the toilet.  He leaves his gun on a kitchen table as he uses the lavatory.  Unfortunately for him, the target comes back to pick up an important watch.  He finds the gun on the kitchen table.  Then he finds the assassin in the toilet.  And he shoots him. 

Is that a realistic story?  Could an assassin really be so stupid that he would leave his gun in the kitchen when he goes to use the toilet in his target’s house? 

A recent story from real life suggests that this is not so unrealistic.  A former British Prime Minister, David Cameron, was taking a flight from New York to London.  He was accompanied on the British Airways flight by a police bodyguard.  At one point during the flight, another passenger went to use the toilet.  He found the bodyguard’s passport, the former  Prime Minister’s passport, and a gun.  Apparently, the bodyguard had taken off his gun and put down the passports whilst he was using the toilet.  And he forgot to pick them back up again.  At least the passenger who found them wasn’t a terrorist! 

There are a lot of forgetful people in the world.  I was once on a train and missed my stop because the driver forgot to open the doors.  But it’s a very bad idea to be a forgetful gunman.  I hope the people in charge of the world’s nuclear weapons have good memories.



Vocabulary:

an assassin – a person who tries to murder someone for political or religious reasons

to be in a mess – to be messy or untidy; for things to be scattered about or not in their correct places

to flee (past tense, fled) – to run away or try to escape

Christmas 365, Setsubun 365ークリスマス365、節分365－

“Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day,
When the kids start singing and the band begins to play,
Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day.
Let the bells ring out for Christmas.”

From the song, “I wish it could be Christmas every day,” by Roy Wood 

In Alaska, there is a town called “North Pole”.  The town leaders have tried to market the town as a tourist destination for people who want to meet Santa Claus, and experience the Christmas spirit.  So they have Christmas decorations up, Christmas songs playing, and people in Christmas costumes all year round.  In a sense, it is Christmas Day every day in the town.  It is a kind of Christmasland. 

I read about North Pole, Alaska, in an article written by Jon Ronson.  He is a British journalist who travelled to the town a number of years ago.  He wanted to investigate a disturbing crime in the small town.  A group of 13 year-old children had planned to bring guns to school and murder many of their classmates and teachers.  They were overheard discussing their plans, and the police arrived before they could do any harm. 

Jon Ronson wanted to investigate whether there was any connection between this attempted mass-murder and growing up in a town where it is always Christmas.  He wondered whether the strangeness of growing up in that environment might have driven the kids a little crazy. 

Is it unhealthy to be on holiday every day?  Is it unhealthy to be jolly every day?  Would it be better for a child to grow up in Pumpkintown than Christmasland?  It might be easier to pretend to be made scared by Halloween than it is to be made happy by Christmas.   

What would be the best holiday/festival town to grow up in?  It was Setsubun recently – the Japanese festival in which people throw beans at their roof, and shout, “Demons out!  Good luck in!”  I could probably do that every day without too much mental damage.  My three year-old son came back from his nursery on the day of Setsubun, and started making up his own variations to the traditional shout.  “Dinosaurs and ghosts out!  Mummy and Daddy in!”  I could also listen to that shout every day.  But I am sure he will change his mind quickly, and perhaps that is for the best.



Vocabulary:

decorations – ornaments, hangings etc. designed to make a room or area look nice

an article – an essay; a short piece of writing on a theme

disturbing – causing anxiety; worrying

to be overheard – to be accidentally heard by another person or party

jolly–in good spirits; happy and cheerful

a variation–a change or slight difference