The Little Sumo and the Huuumh, part 2 －小さなお相撲さんと、ふぅぅぅ～ん パート2－

In part 1, the Little Sumo was distracted by a tiny thing which flew past his ear, making a Huuumh noise.  Guessing it to be a mosquito, he peered at it through a magnifying glass when it landed on a tomato. 

* 

Under the magnifying glass, he could see a little doughnut-shaped flying ship.  Three little legs were attached to the bottom of the doughnut ship, and these were touching the mini tomato.  Just then a door opened in the body of the doughnut ship, and a green head came out.  Three blue eyes stared through the magnifying glass and up at the Little Sumo from the green head.  And as the Little Sumo watched, the green head seemed to get bigger.  Maybe the little alien is growing, he thought.  Or maybe I am shrinking! 

* 

Part 2: 

The Little Sumo started to feel dizzy as everything around him stretched and got bigger.  So he closed his eyes for a few seconds, until his head felt better. 

When he opened his eyes again, the first thing he noticed was that the floor had turned red.  In fact it was as red as the skin of a tomato.  Looking behind him, he saw a very strange sight.  Someone seemed to have carried Tokyo Tower into the room while his eyes were closed.  He had never been to Tokyo Tower, but he knew that it was very big, just like this enormous thing.  He hadn’t known that Tokyo Tower was shaped just like his high chair though.  What a funny shape to make a tower into!  Then he realised that it was not Tokyo Tower that he could see.  It was his high chair.  It only looked so huge because the Little Sumo was now the size of a mosquito, and was standing on the mini tomato. 

A voice nearby said, “No, we don’t do that.” 

The Little Sumo looked round at the three eyed, green alien who had spoken.  He was on the tomato too, with his doughnut ship, and he was now just the right size. 

“What don’t you do?” asked the Little Sumo.  “I hope you don’t suck people’s blood, like a mosquito?” 

“To talk to your leader, of course,” said the alien. 

The Little Sumo was getting confused.  The doughnut ship alien’s conversation didn’t make much sense.  “Um, why did you come here?” he asked. 

“Thank you so kindly,” said the alien. 

The Little Sumo was really confused now.  The conversation seemed to be in the wrong order, all twisted like a doughnut.  Perhaps the alien was giving his answer before the Little Sumo could ask his question.  The alien had just said thank you, so the Little Sumo had to say something which would make him say thank you. 

“So you want to meet my leader?  Well, I’m not sure which one is the leader, exactly.  But I could introduce you to Mummy and Daddy,” he said. 

The alien stared at the Little Sumo, and blinked with all three of his eyes.  “Kill them, of course,” he said. 

* 

Oh, dear!  Is the alien threatening to kill the Little Sumo’s parents?  How can he save them, when he is just the size of a mosquito?  Will anyone ever be able to eat this mini tomato?  Find out next time!

 

Vocabulary:

to feel dizzy – to feel like the world is spinning around you, such as after riding a rollercoaster

to suck something – to pull something into your mouth through a narrow opening, such as a straw

 

Undiscovering 2020 －2020年を「無発見」すること－（ジャパンタイムズに記事が掲載されました）

2020 was a difficult year in many ways.  We had to adapt to many new concepts and ways of living. 

If you could make three of these things go away again, what would you get rid of, or “undiscover”? 

I wrote a short article about it for the Japan Times.  My ideas touch on birds, dreams, and Elon Musk.  You can read the article here:

ウィルのジャパンタイムズ掲載記事リンク（2021/1/18） 

Thanks.

The Little Sumo and the Huuumh, part 1 －小さなお相撲さんと、ふぅぅぅ～ん パート1－

“Could you set the table now?” said Mummy. 

“I can’t,” replied the Little Sumo.  “I’m trying to catch a mosquito.” 

Daddy walked into the living room.  “What do you mean?  I can’t hear any mosquitoes in here.  Mosquitos make a kind of Nyaaang noise when they fly past your ear.  Did you hear a Nyaaang noise?” 

The Little Sumo thought about it.  “Huuumh,” he said. 

“Huuumh?” said Daddy.  “Does that sound mean that you are thinking about my question?” 

“No,” said the Little Sumo.  “That’s the noise I heard when something small flew past my ear.  It made a Huuumh noise, not a Nyaaang noise.” 

Mummy came in from the kitchen, carrying a big bowl of salad.  “I’ve never heard of a mosquito that makes a Huuumh noise,” she said.  “Maybe you imagined it.” 

“I did not imagine it!” exclaimed the Little Sumo.  “If I imagined a noise, I would imagine a Whooklakloo, or a Pfthlimnani noise, not a Huuumh noise.” 

“Well, anyway,” said Daddy.  “I’m getting hungry.” 

“Yes, me too.” said Mummy.  “Go and fetch the chopsticks.” 

The Little Sumo knew that when Mummy and Daddy were hungry, they would not be willing to listen.  So he ran out of the living room to get the chopsticks for everyone.  Then he had a good idea.  Whooklakloo! he thought.  What a good idea!  And before he went to the kitchen to fetch the chopsticks, he quickly went over to his toy box and picked out one important item that he would need to use to find the mosquito. 

Mummy and Daddy were munching on their salad, and chatting about their work.  The Little Sumo sat quietly in his high chair, sometimes eating his salad, and sometimes stopping to listen hard for the mosquito.  The secret item he had taken from his toy box was hidden in his pocket. 

“I accidentally sent an email to the wrong person,” said Mummy, and Daddy laughed. 

The Little Sumo ignored them, put a carrot into his mouth, and thought about the problem.  He had heard that mosquitoes liked to suck people’s blood.  Blood is red.  He chewed his carrot.  So then maybe if I leave out something red for the mosquito, it will fly towards it, he thought. 

Carefully controlling his chopsticks, he picked out a single bright red mini tomato from his salad bowl, and placed it on his paper napkin on the table. 

“What’s wrong with your tomato?” asked Mummy. 

“It’s dirty,” said the Little Sumo.  “It’s got something on it.” 

“Oh,” said Mummy.  “I thought I had washed everything carefully enough.  Just leave it there until you have finished your dinner then.” 

The Little Sumo heard a Huuumh noise go past his ear.  He looked at the mini tomato, and he thought he could see something tiny land on it.  Quickly, he pulled the item out of his pocket, which was a magnifying glass.  The Little Sumo knew that if you put a magnifying glass over something small, it looks bigger.  So he put the magnifying glass over the mini tomato. 

“Hey, what are you doing?” said Daddy.  “Concentrate on eating your salad.  It’s not play time now.” 

But the Little Sumo wasn’t paying much attention to Daddy.  He was staring through the magnifying glass.  Under the magnifying glass, he could see a little doughnut-shaped flying ship.  Three little legs were attached to the bottom of the doughnut ship, and these were touching the mini tomato.  Just then a door opened in the body of the doughnut ship, and a green head came out.  Three blue eyes stared through the magnifying glass and up at the Little Sumo from the green head.  And as the Little Sumo watched, the green head seemed to get bigger.  Maybe the little alien is growing, he thought.  Or maybe I am shrinking!

* 

Oh dear!  Is the Little Sumo going to be kidnapped by a mosquito sized alien?  Will Mummy be angry if he doesn’t finish his dinner?  Find out next time in part 2.

 

Vocabulary:

to set the table – to prepare forks, plates etc. on the table before dinner

to fetch something – to go and bring something back

to munch on something – to chew something steadily and noisily

to shrink – to become smaller

  

Letter to the 21st Century －21世紀への手紙－

Dear 21^st century,

Happy birthday!  You are now 21.  How does it feel?

I still remember the night that you were born.  I was 19 years old, and I was still at university.  Many people were talking about your coming birth, and were worried that the change would bring about a Millennium bug.  People thought that aeroplanes would fall from the sky, and that nuclear power stations would explode the minute you were born.  But luckily this didn’t happen.  We partied like it was 1999, and then went to bed feeling optimistic. 

We were not so optimistic when you were 1 year old.  Terrorists flew planes into some tall buildings in New York, killing thousands of people.  I remember lying in bed, half-asleep, and hearing my university flatmates talking in loud and shocked tones around the tv.  For a while we wondered if the world would ever feel safe again. 

But as you got older, you calm down.  In your childhood years, new technologies seemed to offer great new opportunities.  Even from Japan, I could see the streets of my old homes in Glasgow and Edinburgh on Google Street Map, and find out how they were changing.  Facebook was a fun way to keep in touch with old friends, and we innocently Liked each others’ photos and comments.  What could be wrong with these convenient advances? 

We all make mistakes when we are young.  And I hate to remind you, but you did make a big mistake when you were 8 years old.  You let those nasty Lehman Brothers make a mess for everyone.  You wouldn’t order a sub-prime hamburger, would you?  You wouldn’t sail on a sub-prime boat, would you?  So why did you ever think that sub-prime mortgages would be a good idea? 

I was a rebellious teenager too, you know.  I didn’t listen to my parents.  I listened to heavy metal music instead.  So I suppose it was only natural that you went through your own, rebellious teenage years.  There was Brexit in the UK, Trump in the US, Bolsonaro in Brazil…  At least Japan was as politically boring as usual.  It’s really not so bad to live in politically boring times. 

I hope you’re starting to get over the illness which hit you badly when you were 20.Thank you for not passing it on to me last year.  I’ve been to Wuhan, you know.  I lived in China a while back, and visited the city one winter.  A friendly woman on the same night train to Wuhan shared a meal of spiced meat with me.  It tasted like duck.  I’m pretty sure it wasn’t bat meat. 

So, 21^st Century, congratulations again.  I hope to watch you grow for a long time into the future.  Try to stay healthy and happy.  And don’t look for too much excitement.  I hear that the 20^th century had a very exciting time in its 30s and 40s.  Avoid nuclear war, asteroid impacts, and runaway climate change, and you should have your own child when you are about to turn 100.  Oh, and could you find a cure for cancer before then, please?

Vocabulary:

the Millennium bug – the flaw in computer systems, which were programmed only to recognise years up to 1999, and which could crash when the date became 2000

flatmates – people who share a flat, or an apartment

rebellious – tending to fight against authority (one’s parents, the government, the police, etc.)