English with a Dash of Dutch Courage －お酒の力を借りての英語－

Nervously, you step through the doors of the language school.  Before committing to buying a course of English lessons, you ask one of the teachers about the school and its methods. 

“What kind of teaching methods do you use?” you ask. 

“Well, we’re quite flexible,” says the teacher.  “I can teach daily conversation lessons, business lessons, preparations for a test, etc.  Is there any particular method of learning English that you would like to try?” 

Pulling out a hip flask and taking a sip of whisky, you answer, “I’d like to study English using the Ig Nobel Method.” 

The Ig Nobel Prize is awarded to scientific research that at first makes you laugh, and then makes you think.  This year’s main prize was won last week by a group of researchers in the Netherlands.  They compared how well two groups of native German speakers performed when trying to learn Dutch conversation.  One group studied in the normal way, and the other group studied after drinking some alcohol.  The researchers found that the students who had drunk alcohol performed better, especially with their pronunciation. 

I normally offer my students a cup of tea to drink during our lessons.  Should I start offering them something stronger?

 

Vocabulary:

Dutch courage – this is a drink of alcohol which is taken to reduce anxiety.  The expression comes from hundreds of years ago when sailors in the Dutch navy were given alcohol before battles to help give them the courage to fight

[eg., “I think I need a little Dutch courage before asking her for a date.”]

 

The Ever Growing Edamame Bowl －増え続ける枝豆の器－

One of my wife’s colleagues recently gave her a bunch of edamame, or boiled and salted soy beans still in their pods.  In order to eat the edamame, you have to pop the beans into your mouth and throw away the pod. 

My son and I were sharing the edamame, and my wife gave us each a bowl to put the empty pods in.  This was a pre dinner snack, and I didn’t want to eat too many.  But I felt my bowl filling up quickly with empty pods. 

“I’ve got to slow down, or I’ll lose my appetite for dinner,” I thought. 

I put another empty pod in my bowl, and felt that it was nearly overflowing. 

“My goodness!” I thought.  “I must be eating more of these than I had realized.” 

I told my family that I wasn’t going to eat any more edamame.  I had had enough. 

Then my wife glanced up and said to my son, “Why are you putting all your empty pods in your daddy’s bowl?”

 

Check, Please －お会計をお願いします－

One of my friends has gotten divorced, and recently went on some dates with women he met through a dating site. 

He said he had had some pretty bad first dates.  On one such first date, the woman kept asking him detailed questions about his finances:  What is your salary?  What kind of car do you own?  How much is the mortgage on your house? 

Listening to his stories about first dates which went wrong made me remember a comedy sketch show from the 1990s called, “Goodness Gracious Me”.  One recurring sketch featured a British Asian man who was always on a first date with a woman in a restaurant.  He would inevitably say the wrong thing and the sketch would end with him saying, “Check, please!” 

Here are a few of the first date sketches I remember from the show.

 

1

“I think it is really important for a boyfriend and girlfriend to get to know each other’s family,” says the man.

“Oh, that’s sweet,” says the woman. 

“That’s why I’m sleeping with your sister, innit?  …  Check, please.”

 

2

“I don’t think like other men.” 

“No?” asks the woman in a teasing voice. 

“Because I don’t think you’re ugly!  …  Check, please!”

 

3

“I really want to understand women.  I really want to see things from their perspective.” 

“Oh, that’s sweet.” 

“That’s why I’m wearing my mother’s underwear, innit?  …  Check, please!”

 

Vocabulary:

innit  - This is British slang for “isn’t it?

[eg., “That’s a good film, innit?”]

 

The Cheapest Ticket to the Moon －月への一番安い切符ー

I am reading the autobiography of Gene Kranz, who was a flight controller at NASA during their early successes and failures, including the Apollo missions to the moon. 

Kranz mentioned a funny quote by Alan Shepard, the first American astronaut to go into space.  When asked by a journalist how he felt sitting in the spacecraft, getting ready to leave the Earth, he said the following: 

“I felt exactly how you would feel if you were getting ready to launch and knew you were sitting on top of two million parts – all built by the lowest bidder on a government contract.” 

I have similar thoughts when I am sitting on a budget airline as it is getting ready to take off. 

And here was an interesting quote from Kranz about NASA’s success in landing men on the moon: 

“Apollo succeeded at critical moments like this because the bosses had no hesitation about assigning crucial tasks to one individual, trusting his judgement, and then getting out of his way.”

 

Vocabulary:

the lowest bidder – the company which offers to do some work or provide a product or service for the lowest price

[eg., “The contract to run the local bus service was won by the lowest bidder.”]

crucial – involving an extremely important decision or result

[eg., “The next test is the crucial test.  If it is failed, then we will cancel the project.”]