To the Santa Complaints Department －サンタの苦情処理部へー

My son wrote a letter to Santa this year, as usual. 

He wrote, “Any present is okay.” 

Either he is very modest, or else he has little imagination and just couldn’t think of what he wanted. 

Not so the daughter of my wife’s colleague.  She wrote a detailed letter to Santa, with many specific requests for presents. 

When Santa brought the girl all of the presents on her long list except one, she wrote back to Santa. 

“Dear Santa, you have forgotten to bring one of the presents on my list…” 

I am sure this girl will achieve a lot in her life, since she knows what she wants, and is determined to get it!

 

All the Chocolate in the World －世界にある全てのチョコレート－

I went out to a pizza restaurant in Ikebukuro recently with my wife and son, to celebrate my birthday.  We passed a queue of people buying lottery tickets for the end of year big lottery draw. 

We decided to stop by the kiosk and buy our own lottery ticket. 

For the next 25 minutes or so, my wife and my nine year old son argued about how they were going to spend the jackpot. 

“We’ll buy a big house, and nobody will have to work.” 

“But if we buy a house that is too big, we will quickly run out of money and have to go back to work.” 

I couldn’t help but laugh at their enthusiasm.  Maybe my wife was just enjoying the fantasy of winning, but my son seemed quite confident that the money was already half in our pockets.  After all, you can’t win if you don’t buy a ticket.  And we have a ticket. 

I blame “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”.  I read it with my son.  A big part of the story is the golden ticket to the factory, which everybody is extremely keen to find.  Of course the hero Charlie finds one of the precious tickets. 

“However small the chance was of striking lucky, the chance was there.” 

But if the book risks giving an unrealistic impression of gambling, at least there is some more wholesome life advice. 

Charlie says, “I wouldn’t give up my family for anything – not for all the chocolate in the world.” 

That’s a nice thought for the Christmas season.

 

Vocabulary:

wholesome – helping to produce good health and physical well-being, or moral well-being

[eg., Children need more wholesome activities than watching tv and playing computer games.]

 

Christmas Must Wait －クリスマスは待たなくてはいけないー

My birthday comes this month, in December.  I used to feel a little cheated as a child, because people would quickly skip over my birthday in order to get into the mood for Christmas. 

“I’ve got you one big present.  That’s for both your birthday and Christmas,” someone would say. 

“Did you really double the size of the present?” I would think.  “Or am I just losing one present?” 

My son is obviously sympathetic.  He wrote me a nice birthday card, and wrote a poem on it.  He wrote it in Japanese, but I have translated my son’s poem into English below:

 

Winter comes,

Though the jingle bells are loud,

Don’t forget –

Daddy’s birthday.

 

Don’t Ever Invite a Vampire into your House, you Silly Boy －自宅に吸血鬼を招くんじゃない、このばか者－

I read an interesting online article about parenting recently.  The article asked what a parent should do if their child has made friends with a bad kid.  Should the parent tell their child to stop hanging out with the bad influence? 

The gist of the article’s advice was that you shouldn’t tell your child what friends to have.  Children often do the opposite of what their parents tell them anyway, so such advice might backfire. 

It reminded me of something one of my friends said.  Four or five of her son’s school friends are in the habit of coming round to her house after school and playing there.  The kids open the cupboards and search out chocolate and other snacks and eat them without asking permission, and leave the house in a mess.  My good natured friend doesn’t want to tell them off, even though she is annoyed. 

The longer she leaves it, the harder it will be.  Imagine how wild these children, who are now eight, will be when they are teenagers.  Perhaps my friend needs to join a cult or something, to find a way to put the children off coming to her house. 

“Before you play, beloved children, let us all read from the guru’s guidebook on how to avoid going to hell!”

 

Vocabulary:

the gist of something – the substance or general meaning of a speech, text, etc.

[eg., I couldn’t catch everything, but I understood the gist of what she said.]

for something to backfire – for something to have the opposite effect of what was intended

[eg., The politician tried to win popularity by being seen at a rock concert.  But his plan backfired when people asked why he didn’t pay for the tickets.]

to put someone off doing something – to cause someone to lose interest or enthusiasm

[eg., Many people are put off eating natto by the smell.]