A wind up hero －ねじまき英雄－

If only life were like a Haruki Murakami novel.  You would simply live your life, doing relatively ordinary things: making pasta, listening to classical music and taking precise care over mundane tasks such as vacuuming the house.  Then a series of beautiful women would enter your life, or in some cases your mind, and force you to take your clothes off with them in a variety of interesting ways.  You would at the same time have some problem you had to overcome, such as a sinister and powerful figure trying to crush you.  You would be tempted by lots of easy ways out and chances to back down.  All you would have to do was to bear the difficulties, clinging stubbornly to your principles like a barnacle to the hull of a ship.  And in the end you would endure long enough to see the problem wash over you and let you go.

I am reading Haruki Murakami’s novel, “The wind up bird chronicles,” at the moment.  I read it once before many years ago.  I enjoyed it the first time and I am enjoying it again.

But it really struck me this time how passive the central character, Toru Okada, is.  As I summarised above, he is really just an ordinary guy.  If there is anything special about him, it is his meticulousness and his ability to endure.  He is extremely precise in all small details.  He doesn’t just whip up some pasta with little thought.  He boils it for exactly the right amount of time to have the ideal texture, even when he is cooking only for himself.  And he will calmly deal with any physical or psychological hardships that you throw his way, such as abandoning him for several days down the bottom of a deep well.

I find that this is true of most of Murakami’s central characters.  They are not active, or especially clever, or charming.  They are meticulous in all small details.  And they endure.  As a form of male hero, it is the exact opposite of James Bond.  James Bond triumphs because he is charming, intelligent and always ready for action.  Having said that, one point of similarity is that both James Bond and Toru Okada drink a lot of alcohol and sleep with a lot of women before the end of the adventure.  They are fantasy heroes after all.

People often say that Murakami’s writing style is very Western.  In some ways that is true, but there is also something very Japanese in the mindset of his characters.  To me, they embody the idea of “gaman”, or endurance in Japanese.  Putting up with individual difficulties, often in order to avoid inconveniencing the larger group, is stressed much more in Japan than in the West.

I think I have missed my chance to become James Bond.  It would take too much hard work.  But I could take time to make the perfect pasta, or more likely for me, the perfect curry and rice.  And I can sit quietly and not complain when things are difficult.  That brings me half way to being a Murakami hero.  All I need now is a knowledge of classical music and a string of beautiful women... 

Vocabulary:

mundane – ordinary; unexceptional or boring

to vacuum – to suck up dirt, dust etc. using a vacuum cleaner

sinister – seeming bad or evil

to back down – to withdraw after initially putting forward a claim, opinion etc.  For example: At first the company demanded compensation but they backed down when the other side hired a lawyer.

to bear – to put up with or endure

to cling – to hold tightly

a barnacle – a sea creature with a hard shell which often attaches itself tightly to rocks or the bottom of ships etc.

the hull of a ship – the outer part of a ship

meticulousness – the habit of taking precise care over small details; thoroughness

to whip something up – to prepare something, such as a dish of food, quickly and with little preparation

one’s mindset – the established set of ideas and principles someone has; one’s way of thinking

to embody – to be a strong example of; to physically represent

 

Confessions of a choco-almond-aholic －アーモンドチョコ中毒の告白－

As I write, I am trying to remove with my tongue a little piece of almond that has got stuck between my teeth.  It got there when I was guzzling a box full of chocolate covered almonds.  By a supreme effort of will, I ate only half of the box before starting my blog.  I shouldn’t have had any, since as I write this it is just before my lunchtime.  There is a danger that I will not leave enough room for more sensible food.

I don’t generally buy chocolate covered almonds.  That’s because I know the effect they have on me.  While eating them, some odd property that they have shuts off the rational part of my brain which constrains my behaviour.  I could be full.  I could be just about to eat dinner.  I could have a dentist appointment.  Still, a box of chocolate covered almonds would not be safe with me.  Even as my mind says, “Okay.  This is the last one.  No more after this,” I find that my hand has picked up several more as if it is following orders from another brain.  I also never eat them slowly.  I devour them at great speed, like a pig before a trough, as if my hands and mouth knew that my brain might try to sabotage the operation and it must be completed as soon as possible.

The strange thing is that it is only chocolate covered almonds that have this effect on me.  I don’t get this way with almonds, although I like them.  I occasionally guzzle chocolate as I am eating it, but I can leave chocolate in the fridge for weeks without opening it or feeling any strong urge to start eating.  Why do these innocuous ingredients combine to provoke such a gluttonous reaction?

I don’t know.  Perhaps Meiji puts cocaine in this one product to keep people coming back for more (legal note: They definitely don’t.)

I can only guess that the human brain sometimes forms a deep attraction to certain experiences it has found pleasurable.  The attraction can be so deep that it becomes linked to your subconscious mind.  Your subconscious mind can send signals directly to your limbs, ordering them to move around without wasting time asking your rational mind for permission.  In that way, your subconscious mind can sense danger and cause you to jump without your higher brain thinking about the action first.

Whatever it is about chocolate covered almonds, especially the Meiji ones, they seem to have direct access to my subconscious.  I have to fight a constant battle with my deeper, animal self to act rationally around them.  I only bought a box today because I have been feeling ill and wanted comfort food.  Instead, I fear I might have let the demons inside me loose once again...

On the bright side, I have finished my blog in record time.  It usually takes me about an hour and a half or two hours to complete, from thinking about what I want to say, perhaps doing a little research, coming up with a definition of difficult words etc.  I have written this in less than half an hour!  It’s amazing what motivational power the unfinished half of a box of chocolate almonds can have for a choco-almond-aholic.

 

Vocabulary:

a confession – an admission that someone has done something about which they are embarrassed or ashamed

a choco-almond-aholic – Okay, I made this word up.  A chocaholic is someone addicted to chocolate

to guzzle – to eat or drink something greedily

a supreme effort – extreme effort; the maximum level of effort

sensible – practical or in accordance with common sense

rational – logical; clear-thinking

to constrain – to limit; hold back; control

to devour – to eat hungrily or quickly

a trough – a long container for animals like pigs or horses to eat from

to sabotage – to spoil or damage something deliberately such as an enemy’s plans, a foreign country’s transport system during a war etc.

innocuous – simple and harmless

gluttonous – excessively greedy

a limb – an arm or leg

subconscious – below the level of thought that you usually notice

one’s subconscious – the part of the mind that is below the level of thought that you usually notice

 

 

 

When the world is going wrong －世界は間違っている－

“[I] feel bad this morning,

Ain’t got no home,

[There’s] no use in worrying,

‘Cause the world’s going wrong.” 

 

So said the band the Mississippi Sheiks.  I imagine that they had bigger problems to worry about than many today, since they lived in the era of the 1930s Great Depression and in the American South before the civil rights reforms of the post-war period.

Still, we all have our problems.  Today I’d like to look at a few idioms in English used to talk about difficulties and troubles.  Hopefully you won’t have much need to use them... 

1 - A problem shared is a problem halved

The meaning of this idiom is clear enough.  Getting advice about your problems from another person can take a weight off your mind.

On the other hand, people sometimes twist the idiom around and say ironically, “A problem shared is a problem doubled.”

2 - That’s an accident waiting to happen.

We use this idiom when we see a potential danger, such as a wet floor without a warning sign or a piece of furniture placed in a way that somebody could trip over.  For example: “You had better move your bicycle.  It is sticking out into the road.  It’s an accident waiting to happen.”

3 – (He’s) asking for trouble.

Similar to the idiom above, this is a warning about a potential danger or future trouble.  Imagine that an office worker regularly arrives late on Monday mornings with a hangover.  His boss hasn’t complained about it yet but if this behaviour continues, the worker will likely face the sack or other disciplinary action.  His colleagues say, “He had better stop coming late.  He’s asking for trouble.”

4 - He’s bitten off more than he can chew.

I hate to swallow large chunks of food.  I like to chew my food into small pieces.  So I don’t like eating raw octopus or squid, which are tough and stringy.  So this idiom is quite appropriate for me.  I sometimes take a bite of food and regret it. 

But we use this idiom more generally, to mean that someone has taken on a problem too large for them to handle.  For example, someone pushes to get a promotion and becomes manager.  Then they find that they can’t handle the extra workload and responsibilities.  They might say regretfully, “I think I bit off more than I could chew taking this job.  I wish I had stayed where I was.” 

 

Vocabulary:

the Great Depression – The period after the 1929 stock market crash which greatly damaged the world economy

post-war – after the war

to halve – to reduce in size, number etc. by 50 per cent

a hangover – a feeling of illness, headaches etc. experienced the day after drinking a lot of alcohol

(to get) the sack – to be sacked or fired from work; to be removed from your position of employment

disciplinary action – formal punishment for improper behaviour

a chunk – a big piece

stringy – thin and tough like string.  About food, containing tough fibres; hard to eat
 

 

 

 

Wall of shame －恥の壁－

Are you irritated by the personal hygiene habits of any of your colleagues?  Is there someone at work who picks wax out of their ears and flicks it onto the floor?  Is there someone who spits as they are walking down the street with you during lunch break?  I’ll bet that there are some people who you work with whose habits annoy you.  I’ll also bet that you have never spoken to them about it or expressed your annoyance.  It could be a very awkward moment and permanently damage your relationship.

Here is an idea: a wall of shame.  There is a noticeboard set in a prominent place in the office.  On the noticeboard are the names or photographs of people with wayward hygiene habits and a description of their crime.  It might say something like, “In the hours after lunch break, Mrs. Smith from accounts (pictured left) picks her teeth with her fingernail, takes a look at what she has found and then eats it.”  Colleagues who observed disgusting behaviour could add this information anonymously, thus avoiding the need for an awkward conversation.  The offenders would be shamed and quickly change their ways.

Okay, maybe instead Mrs. Smith from accounts would break down into floods of tears, quit the company and then sue for bullying at work.

But I did not make the wall of shame up.  It really exists.  And it is being used in a context that is a lot more embarrassing than nose picking at work.  It is being used by some states in India to promote sanitation efforts in rural areas.

The problem is that many Indians do not use toilets.  If there are no toilets then it can’t really be helped.  In a rural area you might have to just take a walk into your fields and do as the bears do.  But it seems that even in areas where there are plenty of toilets, many Indians prefer to return to nature.  More than 500 million Indians continue to pass solid waste in the open.  A recent study showed that many people with toilets in their homes prefer to go outside instead.  Respondents to the survey often said that they found it “pleasurable, comfortable or convenient” to go outside or that it provided them with an opportunity to catch some fresh air.

So some states have turned to the wall of shame for help.  Imagine a noticeboard set in a prominent place in your village with your name and photograph.  It says,”(X) has been seen passing solid waste in the fields around our beautiful village, despite the fact that we have clean public toilets.”

It’s a harsh method, but I’ll bet it works.  Try it out at your place of work. 

Vocabulary:

hygiene : cleanliness to avoid germs and disease

to flick something – to hit something or get rid of it by a sudden and quick movement of the fingers

prominent – obvious; easily noticed

wayward – away from what is right and proper; disobedient or difficult to control

anonymously – without giving a name

to sue – to initiate legal proceedings against a person, company etc.

to make something up – to invent something fictitious or not real, such as a story or character