Translating Kawabata’s Snow Country －川端の雪国を訳すこと－

I finished reading Yasunari Kawabata’s novel, Snow Country (Yukiguni) in Japanese today.

It was difficult to understand, but I did notice one very important difference between the English translation and the original Japanese text, which I’d like to compare.  The English translation of one vital scene didn’t seem to capture the original meaning.

The scene involves the two main characters in the novel: Komako and Shimamura.  Komako is a geisha at a hot-spring resort.  She entertains male guests to the holiday resort at drinking parties or in their rooms.  Shimamura is a rich, older man who occasionally visits from Tokyo.  He doesn’t think deeply about the world around him, or other people’s feelings.

Shimamura occasionally visits the hot spring and is entertained by Komako.  After a while they begin a physical relationship.  Komako falls in love with Shimamura.  But since Shimamura is already married, and can only make occasional visits to the hot-spring, there is something sad and doomed about the love affair.  Komako knows that it will not last but falls for Shimamura anyway.

In the vital scene, the relationship between the two subtly changes.  They are both drinking alcohol in Shimamura’s room.  Komako cradles Shimamura like a baby.

Here is an extract of the scene in English:

*

A childlike feeling of security came to Shimamura from the warmth of her body.  She seemed ill-at-ease, like a young woman, still childless, who takes a baby up in her arms.

“You’re a good girl.”

“Why?  Why am I good?  What’s good about me?”

“You’re a good girl.”

“Don’t tease me!  It’s wrong of you.”  She laughed.  “I’m not good at all.  It’s not easy having you here.  You’d best go home.  Each time I come to see you I want to put on a new kimono, and now I have none left!  This one is borrowed.  So you see: I’m not really good at all!”

Shimamura did not answer.

“And what do you find good in me?”  Her voice was a little husky.  “The first day I met you I thought I had never seen anyone I disliked more.  People just don’t say the sort of things you say.  I hated you!”

Shimamura nodded.

“Oh?  You understand then why I have not mentioned it before?  When a woman has to say these things, she has gone as far as she can, you know?”

“But it’s all right.”

“Is it?”

They were silent for some moments.  Komako seemed to be looking back on herself and the awareness of a woman’s being alive came to Shimamura, and her warmth.

“You’re a good woman.”

“How am I good?”

“A good woman.”

“What an odd person!”  Her face was hidden from him, as though she were rubbing her jaw against an itching shoulder.  Then suddenly – Shimamura had no idea why – she raised herself angrily to an elbow.

“A good woman?  What do you mean by that?  What do you mean?”

He only stared at her.

“Admit it!  That’s why you came to see me.  You were laughing at me!  You were laughing at me after all.”

She glared at him, scarlet with anger.

*

So Komako’s feelings are hurt when Shimamura switches from saying, “You’re a good girl,” to, “You’re a good woman.”  Is there such a big difference between “girl” and “woman”?  “Woman” doesn’t sound disrespectful in English, so the change in meaning is not very clear.

But the scene makes more sense in the original Japanese.  At first Shimamura says, “kimi ha ii ko da ne... ii ko day o.”  He then changes to kimi ha ii onna da ne... ii onna day o.”

In Japanese, you can refer to a woman as “josei” or “onna no hito”, which sound more respectful.  Using “onna” sounds much more directly sexual than “woman” in English.  In Japanese it is clearer why Komako’s feelings are hurt.  She realises that Shimamura has no deep feelings for her, but visits the hot spring to use her body.

How can you translate this meaning into English?  You could say, “You are a good woman, very womanly.”  This stresses that she is physically like a woman, or sexually attractive.  Or you could say, “I’ve got a good woman.”  This stresses that Shimamura feels he owns Komako, or treats her like an object rather than a person.

Translation is difficult!  And my blog is already too long... It’s Shimamura’s fault.  He’s a bad man.

Vocabulary:

a novel – a long, fictional story

vital – extremely important

occasionally – not often

doomed – fated to end badly

to fall for someone – to start to love someone, especially deeply or uncontrollably

subtly – in a small and hard to detect or understand way

to cradle someone – to hold someone tightly, like one holds a small baby

ill-at-ease - uncomfortable

to tease someone – to make fun of someone; to laugh at someone in a light, joking manner

itching – of skin, feeling irritated so that you want to scratch it

to glare – to stare at someone in anger

scarlet – of a brilliant red colour