“And what would you most like for
Christmas, Tiny Tina?”
The seven year-old American girl answers,
“Peace on Earth.”
Tina’s mother frowns. “Okay, but can you think of anything more,
like, achievable? How about a doll or a
yo-yo?”
“Could I get in touch with Santa?”
***
In America, apparently, children can call a
special phone number on Christmas Eve to find out where Santa is. The American military claims to track Santa
with radar and satellite systems as he and his reindeer fly across the
sky. So if American children call in,
they will be told, “Santa was last spotted flying over Greenland,” or something
similar. It sounds to me like a weird
propaganda operation which uses Santa as bait to make American children fall in
love with spy satellites, radar, and the American military.
But anyway, some of the children who call
the number are occasionally instead put through to the White House to talk to
the American president. This is
obviously a propaganda operation which uses Santa as bait to make children, and
people who like children, fall in love with the White House and the American president.
What would Obama have said during one of
these phone calls? “Merry Christmas,
little Tina! What do you want from Santa? Do you want to be President some day? Yes, you can!”
The trouble, of course, is that Obama is
not President. Even if you are a huge
supporter of Donald Trump, you will probably agree that heartwarming interviews
with cute 7 year-old girls are not the current president’s strong point. I wonder what the White House staff said to
him about the interviews beforehand? “Just
keep it short and simple, Mr. President.
Don’t say anything negative.
Don’t say that Santa doesn’t exist.
Oh – And if a small boy with a Russian accent says that all he wants for
Christmas is the American nuclear codes, don’t tell him.”
You may have heard that in such a phone
call this Christmas Eve, Mr. Trump said to one seven year-old girl, “Do you
still believe in Santa?” When she said
that she did, the unsatisfied President pushed her further, saying, “Because at
7, it’s marginal, right?” At least he
didn’t tell her the secret nuclear codes.
I wonder if the White House staff were
thinking, “I’m dreaming of a White House Christmas, just like the ones we used
to know”?
Vocabulary:
to track something – to follow and note the
movements of something
to be spotted – to be seen and noticed
bait – In activities such as fishing and
hunting, something used to attract an animal so that it can be more easily
caught
to be put through – In a phone call, to be
redirected or transferred to another person or department
marginal – Having a small difference
between two points [such as belief in Santa and disbelief in Santa]
No comments:
Post a Comment