Cinderella was a social climber. So she wished to turn her shabby clothes into a beautiful ballgown, her pumpkin into a carriage, and some mice into horses and a carriage-driver.
Bling!
Things worked out well for Cinderella because she was able to seduce a
rich prince before the magic wore off.
I recently heard about a fairy godmother
who has been working in Scotland, helping nice but poor people in Dundee. A Scottish folk singer called Hamish Imlach
sang a song about the fairy godmother. I
like the story and I have edited it to make it easier to understand, and
printed it below. Can you catch the
humour of the ending?
“Dundee Cat,” by Hamish Imlach (edited):
In an attic room in Dundee town,
Lived a poor old woman - spread this tale around.
She lived 50 years in a wee top flat,
With no other company but her wee tom cat.
Poor old woman.
One night by the fire she felt all alone,
Then who do you think called her on the phone?
“I’m your fairy godmother, have no fear.
To grant three wishes I’m calling here.”
Poor old woman.
The old woman looked down at her empty purse:
“I could always use some cash, of course.”
The fairy made some magic sounds,
And there on the floor was 10,000 Pounds.
Poor old woman.
“Now a lovely face, and a body divine,
For just one night I wish they were mine.”
The fairy said, “I’ll have a go,”
And made her look like Brigitte Bardo.
Poor old woman.
This lovely girl, the fire she sat,
And turned her attention to her old male cat.
“He’s my only love, so here’s my plan:
Tonight make him my handsome man.”
Poor old woman.
This handsome man to the girl came near,
He whispered softly in her ear,
“The night is young, but you’ll regret,
The day you took me to the vet.”
Poor old woman!
“Dundee Cat,” by Hamish Imlach (edited):
In an attic room in Dundee town,
Lived a poor old woman - spread this tale around.
She lived 50 years in a wee top flat,
With no other company but her wee tom cat.
Poor old woman.
One night by the fire she felt all alone,
Then who do you think called her on the phone?
“I’m your fairy godmother, have no fear.
To grant three wishes I’m calling here.”
Poor old woman.
The old woman looked down at her empty purse:
“I could always use some cash, of course.”
The fairy made some magic sounds,
And there on the floor was 10,000 Pounds.
Poor old woman.
“Now a lovely face, and a body divine,
For just one night I wish they were mine.”
The fairy said, “I’ll have a go,”
And made her look like Brigitte Bardo.
Poor old woman.
This lovely girl, the fire she sat,
And turned her attention to her old male cat.
“He’s my only love, so here’s my plan:
Tonight make him my handsome man.”
Poor old woman.
This handsome man to the girl came near,
He whispered softly in her ear,
“The night is young, but you’ll regret,
The day you took me to the vet.”
Poor old woman!
*
Snip!
The male cat lost something important when he was sent to the vet.
Vocabulary:
a social climber – someone who wants to
rise to a higher class or social position
shabby - worn out and in a bad condition
to seduce someone – to attract someone’s
romantic or sexual attention
an attic – the top room in a house
wee - small
divine – Heavenly; wonderful
to have a go – to try
“The night is young” – There is still
plenty of time this evening
a vet – an animal doctor
Snip – the sound of something being cut
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