I have a time machine. I’ll let you use it, if you like, to invite two figures from history to come round and have a dinner party.
You have to choose carefully. One of my friends invited Alexander the Great. But my friend didn’t speak classical Macedonian. So Alexander just sat at the dinner table drinking wine. He drank four bottles of red wine and then felt offended by a look that Yukio Mishima was giving him. Alexander pulled out a spear and tried to stab poor Yukio with it, and we had to end the party early.
I invited Cleopatra and John Lennon. I thought that I could admire Cleopatra’s beauty, and get John Lennon to play a few songs.
But the arsenic Cleopatra used in her make-up made me sneeze. And John Lennon made rude jokes about me and tried to catch Cleopatra’s eye. Soon they were kissing behind my sofa, and I had to end the party early again.
Do you think you can choose more wisely? Who will you invite?
Vocabulary:
to feel offended – to be resentful or annoyed, often because you feel insulted
to stab someone – to use a sharp object such as a knife to pierce someone’s body and cause a wound
arsenic – a kind of poisonous material which is sometimes used in construction, and which used to be used in make-up
to sneeze – to suddenly and violently expel air from one’s nose and mouth, often because of an allergy
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