Greensleeves －グリーンスリーブス－

[bring-bring,bring-bring] 

You have reached the number for the emergency services.  Which emergency service would you like to access?  Press 1 for the police.  Press 2 for an ambulance.  Press 3 for the fire brigade.  Press 4 for the superhero brigade. 

[4] 

You have reached the superhero brigade.  Due to the current coronavirus pandemic, we are receiving a greater volume of calls than usual, so please bear with us.  Please state in your own words the nature of the emergency. 

[“Aaaargh!”] 

I’m sorry.  Did you say that a super-villain has escaped from Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane? 

[“Grrrrrr-Hnggggh!”] 

I’m sorry.  Did you say that Godzilla has emerged from the ocean to attack your area?  Please press 1 for Yes, and 2 for No. 

[2] 

Okay. Please listen to this list of options, and select the one which most closely fits your situation.  Press 1 if you are in possession of some Kryptonite, and wish for help in disposing of it.  Press 2 if you are trapped in a time-loop, unless you have tried this option previously.  Press 3 if you have been exposed to gamma rays, and are beginning to turn green.  Press 4 if your computer has become sentient, and is attempting to conquer the Earth.  Press 5 if a dead acquaintance has clawed their way out of their grave, and seems menacing.  Press 6 if an alien civilization has accosted you, and demanded to speak to your leader.  Press 7 if a monster is currently gnawing on your leg. 

[7] 

Okay.  So a monster is currently gnawing on your leg.  Due to the current coronavirus pandemic, we are receiving a greater volume of calls than usual.  Did you know that you can find many great tips for combatting a variety of monsters at our web-site?  Please hang up the phone and visit www.superherobrigade.com/funmonstertips, or else hold the line and an operator will be with you as soon as possible. 

[…Alas my love you do me wrong, To cast me off discourteously…] 

Vocabulary/ notes:

to bear with us – to be patient with us

to state – to clearly say

a villain – a bad person; a criminal

Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane – In the Batman comic books, this is where The Joker, The Scarecrow, and other super-villains are kept prisoner

Kryptonite – In the Superman comic books, this is the green crystal which makes Superman weak

gamma rays – a real form of intense radiation.  In the Incredible Hulk comic books, exposure to this radiation caused Robert Bruce Banner to become the Incredible Hulk

sentient – conscious of itself and able to perceive the outside world

to accost someone – to confront someone boldly or forcefully

to gnaw on something –to bite at something persistently, like a dog taking the flavour from a bone

[Alas my love you do me wrong…] – The lyrics to the song “Greensleeves,” which is often played over the telephone when a caller must be kept waiting

The Split-personality Bilingual － 二重人格のバイリンガル －

Do people who speak two languages have different personalities in each language?  Are you more polite when speaking Japanese than when speaking English?  Or do you perhaps speak more politely in English, because you are less confident about dealing with arguments or difficult conversations? 

I wrote an article about raising my son to speak both Japanese and English as native languages.  Here is a link to it:

ウィルのジャパンタイムズの記事　2020/10/19

Please let me know if you agree.

A Difficulty with Words －言語の苦労－

I heard an interesting radio programme about dyslexia recently.  People who suffer from dyslexia have a difficulty with words.  They may take a long time to read text, or find it hard to spell words correctly. 

The most fascinating part of the programme for me was the story of a bilingual man in Japan.  He is the child of two British parents who spoke English at home.  So English is his native language.  But he went to school in regular Japanese schools, and so he speaks Japanese as a native language too.

The odd thing is that he is dyslexic in English, but not in Japanese.  In other words, he has difficulties reading English and spelling English correctly, but can read and write kanji, hiragana and katakana without any difficulties.  Despite being a native English speaker, English was one of his worst subjects at school. 

According to researchers, this is possible because of the different ways we learn to read English and Japanese.  To work out how to read English sentences, we must understand a system of rules and exceptions.  The letters, “I, n, t” written together are usually pronounced in the same way, as in, “hint,” “mint,” and “tint.”  But the pronunciation changes in the word, “pint.”  Kanji is not learned by following a system of rules, but instead by rote memorisation.  Children write the character again and again until the pattern of strokes is imprinted on their brain. 

So maybe there is an advantage in studying two very different languages, such as Japanese and English.  Even if you are not good at one, you might be good at the other.

 

Vocabulary:

an exception – one unusual case which does not fit into the general pattern or rule

a pint – a unit of measurement; the amount that beer or lager is traditionally served in at a British pub

rote memorisation – learning through repetition

to be imprinted on something – for a mark, pattern etc. to be left on something by pressing or pushing two things together

The Little Sumo and the Roaring Bus, part 3 －小さなお相撲さんと雄叫びバス パート3－

In part 2, the Little Sumo and his family tried to get on a bus to Koenji, with their balloons.  But the first bus had a roaring lion in it, and the second bus had a hissing snake.  So they waited for the doors of the third bus to open. 

* 

“Ook!  Ook!  OOK!” came the noise from inside the bus. 

“My goodness,” said Daddy.  “What can that noise be?” 

“It’s a gorilla!” said the Little Sumo.  “Mummy, Daddy: I don’t want to get on this bus!” 

* 

They let the bus doors close without getting on.  The sounds of the gorilla faded as it drove away. 

“Let’s take a taxi,” said Daddy.  “That should be less scary than a bus.” 

So Mummy found a taxi which had a yellow light shining from it, showing that it was available for hire.  The three of them got in the back, and put their balloons on the floor by their feet, while they fastened their seatbelts. 

“Let’s count all the vending machines we pass on the way to Koenji,” said Mummy. 

The Little Sumo liked vending machines.  He had just counted to seventeen vending machines when the taxi arrived at Koenji.  “Why are there so many vending machines in Tokyo?” he wondered.  “What would happen if they all turned into evil robots and started attacking people by shooting cans of cola at them?” 

Mummy paid the driver, and unfastened the Little Sumo’s seatbelt.  “Let’s go to the little park with the swings and the slide!” she said. 

So they all picked up their balloons and got out of the taxi.  Then they headed towards the little park.  It was a very small park, and surrounded by tall buildings.  It was one of those funny little Tokyo parks which don’t have any grass – just fun things to climb up or slide down, or spin around on. 

They all passed between two tall buildings and reached the entrance of the park.  Then Daddy suddenly stopped. 

“ook!  Ook!  Ook!” 

“Hiss!  Hiss!  Hiss!” 

“Roar!  Roar!  Roar!” 

There was a huge gorilla playing on the tyre swing, swinging back and forwards.  And there was a long snake sliding and slithering down the slide.  Because his body was so long, his head reached the ground before his tail had left the top of the ladder.  And there was an enormous lion, who was sitting in the sandbox.  As his tail flicked back and forth behind him, a little cloud of sand rose into the air. 

For a moment, the Little Sumo was scared.  Then he noticed the birthday cake, and the party poppers, and a colourful sign which was hanging beside the jungle-gym.  “H – A – P – P – Y,” he read. 

“It say’s, ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAMMY SNAKE.’  Isn’t that nice?” said Daddy.  “It must be the snake’s birthday.” 

The Little Sumo walked forward with his balloon, and gave it to the snake.  The snake looked very happy, and curled himself round and round the balloon, making his body like a basket to hold it.  Mummy gave her balloon to the lion, and Daddy gave his to the gorilla.  They were very happy too. 

Everyone stayed and played together in the park.  The Little Sumo built a sandcastle with the lion, and pushed the gorilla back and forth on the tyre swing, and let the gorilla push him.  And he slid down the slide with the snake.  He enjoyed some delicious cake.  Eventually, when it was time to go home, everyone – Mummy and Daddy, and the Little Sumo, the lion, and the snake, and the gorilla – all got on the bus together to go to their homes.

 

Vocabulary:

to slither – to move smoothly over a surface with a twisting motion, like a snake

to flick something –to move something with a quick and sudden movement

 

Corona-san and Unusual Taxi Rides －コロナさん、そして珍しいタクシーの旅－ ジャパンタイムズにウィルの記事が掲載されました

I wrote an article which appeared in the Japan Times this week.  It is about how some businesses have had to change because of the coronavirus pandemic.  There are some funny stories from an acupuncturist, opera singer, and an izakaya owner in Osaka.

For example, one of my students calls the coronavirus “Corona-san”.  Is he a person?  Is he a nice person?

One detail that I had to cut was that one of my acquaintances travelled from Tokyo to California.  The flights cost about 75,000 Yen.  But the person didn’t want to take public transport, so booked a taxi to and from Narita Airport.  That cost 55,000 Yen.  Isn’t it strange that a trip from Tokyo to the nearest airport should cost almost as much as the flights to America?

You can read the article here:

　ウィルのジャパンタイムズの記事リンク（2020/9/28）