I recently read a short book by Rainer Maria Rilke. He was a German language poet in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. In these published letters to a younger poet, he gives advice on life’s problems, and what attitude to take to them.
Here are some quotations from the book, “Letters to a Young Poet,” and my thoughts on them.
1
“How should we be able to forget those ancient myths that are at the beginning of all peoples, the myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.
So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises up before you larger than any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like light and cloudshadows, passes over your hands and over all you do. You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries, or any depressions? For after all, you do not know what work these conditions are doing inside you.”
Rilke seems to be saying that sadness, anxiety, or uncomfortable feelings are not necessarily something to fear. They may be a sign of change inside you, which will lead to something positive. So instead of trying to shut these feelings out, we should accept them and let them change us in a positive way.
2
“Dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away... and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast.... be happy about your growth, in which of course you can't take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don't torment them with your doubts and don't frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn't be able to comprehend.”
For Rilke, loneliness, and feelings of distance from other people, are natural and necessary. Humans will never fully be able to understand other people, and we should not expect that. We need our own space to fully grow as individuals, and loneliness is the natural cost of this growth.
3
“The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.”
For Rilke, marriage is a positive thing, and a source of happiness. But people should not lose their individuality, or lose the possibility of personal growth, by becoming too closely involved with the life of their husband or wife.
4
“If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent place.”
Stop whining and complaining. If you choose to, you can turn even a hell into a heaven, by thinking about it differently.
*
It’s a hard task to live up to the
expectations of philosophers and poets.
Vocabulary:
restiveness – a feeling of being unable to
stay still, especially because you are bored or unsatisfied; or a feeling of
not wanting to be controlled by others
(eg., On a rainy day, I sat inside and
tried to read a book. But a feeling of
restiveness made me get up and pace around the house.)
to torment someone – to cause someone
severe mental or physical suffering
(eg., He was tormented by the bullies at
his school.)
to hem something in – to surround something
closely, so that its freedom of movement is limited
(eg., My parked car was hemmed in by cars
on either side, and it was difficult to drive out of the parking space.)
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