How to Save 50 Pounds on Arrival in Turkey －トルコ到着時に50ポンドを節約する方法－

 “Please keep your seatbelts on until the plane has come to a complete stop, and the ‘Fasten Seatbelts’ sign has been turned off.” 

Your plane has successfully landed, and it is now moving slowly forwards to the place where it will park and let the passengers disembark. 

“Nobody will mind if I just unfasten my seatbelt and grab my bag from the overhead locker, so that I am ready to leave, will they?” you think. 

Well, if your plane has landed in Turkey then you are wrong.  Turkish authorities have just introduced a fine of around 50 Pounds for any passenger who unfastens their seatbelt before permission has been granted.  Apparently, more and more people have been ignoring the instruction to wait. 

I must admit that I have unfastened my seatbelt early myself.  After sitting in a plane for hours, you can almost taste the freedom of the outside world.  But if you think rationally about it, it is silly to rush off the plane as fast as possible, only to have to wait for another hour at the baggage reclaim area, hoping to catch a glimpse of your suitcase.

 

Vocabulary:

to disembark – to leave a ship, aircraft or plane

[eg., Please inform the cabin crew if you need some help to disembark.]

 

Vincent’s Ear －ヴィンセントの耳－

“

Starry, starry night,

Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,

Swirling clouds in violet haze,

Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue.

 

Colours changing hue,

Morning fields of amber grain,

Weathered faces lined in pain,

Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand.

”

From the Don McLean song, “Vincent”

 

I was discussing Vincent Van Gogh today with an acquaintance.  Inevitably, we discussed the most striking incident in the painter’s life, in which he cut off a part of his ear. 

“Why did he do it, do you think?” she said to me.  “Wasn’t it after an argument with Gauguin?” 

“I think you might be right,” I said.  “What I remember is that after cutting off a piece of his ear, he gave it to a woman called Rachel.” 

That made me wonder what Rachel thought about it all. 

“What’s that, Vincent?  Is it a surprise present for me?  You shouldn’t have!”  … “Vincent, you really shouldn’t have.” 

Poor Rachel must have been nervous any time her birthday or Christmas came round.  “Let’s not exchange presents this year, Vincent.  How about just eating a chocolate cake.  Don’t go to any trouble to get me a present.”

 

Vocabulary:

to blaze – to burn fiercely or brightly

[eg., A warm fire is blazing to keep out the winter cold.]

a hue – a colour or shade

[eg., He painted the sunrise in many different hues of red and pink.]

to be striking – attracting attention because it is unusual or stands out

[eg., Her dyed pink hair is very striking.]

 

Hold on – My Brain is Ringing －ちょっと待って。俺の脳が鳴っている－

“Cell phones are so convenient that they are an inconvenience.”

Haruki Murakami

 

“When [mobile phones] first appeared, they were so cool.  Only when it was too late did people realise that they are as cool as electronic tags on remand prisoners.”

David Mitchell

 

“What about a text message?  Isn’t that just using a telephone as a telegraph?  We’re going backwards.”

Michael Finkel

 

What was life like before mobile phones?

I should remember, since I was a university student when I got my first one.  But it seems like I have gotten as used to having a mobile phone in my pocket as to having a wallet in my pocket, or a pair of glasses on the end of my nose.

I was reading an old novella written by Stephen King.  It was written before mobiles became common.  The main character continually has to find pay phones in order to get in touch with people.  There’s a creepy guy following me around – I wonder if that café will let me borrow their phone so that I can get a taxi?  My house is on fire! – Let’s run back to the pay phone and call the fire brigade!

It is such a different world that it is hard to concentrate on the story.

What will life be like when our mobile phones are just implanted in our brains?:  More convenient, no doubt, especially when dealing with creepy people following us around or sudden house fires.  We could take an instant video of a problem and send it to the emergency services with just a thought.  But in another way, more stressful and inconvenient.  How will we justify ignoring a phone call that is ringing inside our head?

Black Magic, Extra Large － 黒魔術、XLサイズ－

“Wake up, Wendy, smell the coffee… Gimme a cup of that old black magic”

From the song, “Wake up Wendy,” by Elton John

 

“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.”

Dave Barry

 

“This morning’s forecast: a 100 per cent chance of coffee… At this point in my life, I am more coffee than man.”

Keith Wynn

 

I have just finished today’s cup of coffee.  I tend to drink one cup of coffee and about two cups of tea a day.  Because of the higher caffeine content, I can’t take more than one cup of coffee, or I get a bit shaky and dizzy. 

I noticed that drinking too much coffee had a bad effect on me when I started trembling uncontrollably in a job interview.  Because I didn’t want to be late, I searched for the location of the interview about an hour and a half before I had to be there, and then found a coffee shop in which to kill time.  Several coffees later, I started feeling ill.  The interviewer must have seen my hands trembling and assumed I was really desperate to get the job. 

My body’s reaction to an overdose of caffeine is why I ordered a burger, fries, and a small black coffee in Freshness Burger the other day.  I checked with the staff member.  “The coffee comes as part of a set meal, right?” 

“Right,” he said.  “So that’s a burger, fries and coffee set, with a small black coffee,” he confirmed. 

A few minutes later he brought me my burger, fries, a large black coffee, and a small black coffee.  Apparently the set menu automatically comes with a large drink, and he thought my request of a small coffee was an extra order.  He also must have thought that I was an extreme caffeine addict. 

Double the recommended dose of caffeine?  I don’t think I want to be awake in Nerima that long.

 

Monkey Magic, part 2 －猿魔術 2－

This is the continuation of the story, “The Magic Stone,” written by my son.  The Monkey family wished to have a lot of money, and they appeared inside a bank vault. 

* 

“Quick!” said Mummy Monkey.  “We have to get out of here before someone sees us and calls the police!” 

Daddy Monkey ran towards the magic stone. 

Clock, clack, clock… 

* 

Part 2: 

Daddy Monkey grabbed the stone and said, “I want to be king, and my family to be living in a palace!” 

There was a flash of magic, and the family suddenly appeared inside a palace. 

They were in a large room with expensive looking furniture.  There was a long table with many different kinds of food on it.  There was ham cutlet, tomatoes, pizza and wine. 

“It is good to be the king!” said Daddy Monkey, taking a sip of wine. 

“I wonder if the palace has a massage room?” said Mummy Monkey. 

“I wonder if the palace has a chocolate room?” said Child Monkey. 

“A chocolate room?” said Daddy Monkey. 

Then Child Monkey put a hand to his ear and said, “What is that noise?” 

They all listened.  They could hear bangs and crashes and angry shouts. 

King Daddy Monkey ran to the window.  “Oh, dear,” he said.  “The subjects of my kingdom are attacking our palace.  Maybe we have been demanding too much ham cutlet…?” 

Child Monkey put one hand in front of his mouth, and chewed his ham cutlet as fast as he could. 

Just then there was a loud bang on the door.  The angry mob of revolutionaries was just outside. 

Mummy Monkey ran to the magic stone. 

Crash! 

Quickly she made the final wish… 

When the flash of magic died away, Child Monkey looked around.  They were back home in their tree house.  There were no piles of money.  There was no table of luxurious food, only a few bananas sitting on a rough wooden table. 

Mummy Monkey spoke.  “We may not have much money, and may not live in a big house.  But it is good to be home.” 

The end