The Cheapest Ticket to the Moon －月への一番安い切符ー

I am reading the autobiography of Gene Kranz, who was a flight controller at NASA during their early successes and failures, including the Apollo missions to the moon. 

Kranz mentioned a funny quote by Alan Shepard, the first American astronaut to go into space.  When asked by a journalist how he felt sitting in the spacecraft, getting ready to leave the Earth, he said the following: 

“I felt exactly how you would feel if you were getting ready to launch and knew you were sitting on top of two million parts – all built by the lowest bidder on a government contract.” 

I have similar thoughts when I am sitting on a budget airline as it is getting ready to take off. 

And here was an interesting quote from Kranz about NASA’s success in landing men on the moon: 

“Apollo succeeded at critical moments like this because the bosses had no hesitation about assigning crucial tasks to one individual, trusting his judgement, and then getting out of his way.”

 

Vocabulary:

the lowest bidder – the company which offers to do some work or provide a product or service for the lowest price

[eg., “The contract to run the local bus service was won by the lowest bidder.”]

crucial – involving an extremely important decision or result

[eg., “The next test is the crucial test.  If it is failed, then we will cancel the project.”]

 

On Windows and Pandas －窓とパンダについてー

I read an interesting news article this week which said that two American airlines are being sued by passengers who paid extra for a window seat, only to find that instead of a window, they were sitting next to a blank wall. 

On some planes, not all of the “window” seats are actually located next to windows, because of air conditioning units or wiring or something else being needed where the window normally is.  I can see why a passenger who had paid extra to enjoy the view might be annoyed.  It would be like paying extra at a zoo to see the panda enclosure, only to see a sign that read, “One day we hope to get a panda, but until then please look into the enclosure and enjoy imagining that a panda is there.” 

My family and I had a similar disappointment on our flight back from Sapporo to Tokyo recently.  My wife booked the flight, but didn’t pay for it immediately.  She wanted to make sure that she could book the hotel and ferry to Hokkaido before committing to paying for the expensive flight.  Except that she forgot to pay, and our flight booking was automatically cancelled by the airline. 

So we had to pay an extra 20,000 Yen to book the same flight again.  And we lost the lovely window seat we had initially booked, which would have allowed our son to gaze out at the clouds and land below.  He had to make do with a window seat right next to the wing, which meant he couldn’t see anything.  That’s like paying extra at a zoo to see the panda enclosure, only to find that the panda is on strike, and is refusing to get out of bed.

 

A Monkey at the wheel －ハンドルにいる猿－

 “Working for peanuts is all very fine,

But I can show you a better time –

Baby, you can drive my car.”

From the Beatles song, “Drive my car”

 

My son loves vehicles.  So we had a great time in a huge park in Sapporo called “Sato Land”.  There was a horse and cart, a car made to look and sound like a train, and odd cycles. 

We spent about two hours cycling around the park on a cycle with three seats.  I sat in a seat at the back which had a set of pedals.  My wife sat next to me in the back at a seat which had both pedals and the steering wheel.  My son sat in the front seat without pedals. 

Then, when we got out of sight of the park staff, my son sat in the driver’s seat, steering the cycle.  In case of accidents, my wife ran behind the cycle, ready to pull us to a stop if my son steered us into danger. 

Although I was just pedaling, I really enjoyed the odd cycle.  It had been years since I had been on a bicycle.  There is a wonderful sense of freedom when you feel the wind rushing past your face. 

Despite my son turning the wheel very sharply at corners and making it feel like the cycle was about to tip over, we avoided any disasters.  I did have one problem, though.  My right knee was sticking out of the cycle, while my left knee was in the shade created by the driver next to me.  So I somehow managed to suffer sunburn on just one knee.  As I teach English in my shorts with one white knee and one bright pink knee, it probably looks a little strange.

Vocabulary:

to work for peanuts – to work for practically no money

 

The Hotel California, Somewhere East of Hokkaido －ホテル・カリフォルニア、どこか北海道の東ー

 “Relax, said the nightman –

We are programmed to receive.

You can check out any time you like,

But you can never leave.”

From the song, “Hotel California”, by Eagles

 

My wife, my son and I recently took a trip to Hokkaido.  Our plan was to take a train to Ibaraki prefecture, then board a ferry to Hokkaido.  We would spend one night on the ferry, two nights in a hotel in Sapporo, and then come back to Tokyo by plane. 

There is no wi-fi available on the ferry, so my wife suggested that I make a playlist of some songs to listen to while we were aboard.  I put together some songs which I thought might put us in the mood for our holiday.  So the playlist included songs about travel, boats, sailing, and hotels.  One of the songs I included was “Hotel California” by Eagles, just because it has the word “Hotel” in the title and lyrics. 

Unfortunately, while we were on the ferry, there was an earthquake off the coast of Kamchatka.  A tsunami alert was issued, and the ferry was not allowed to approach the coast.  So we had to spend an extra day and an extra night on the ferry, waiting for the tsunami alert to be lifted. 

With no internet connection and no tv signal, I listened again and again to the same short playlist of songs.  The line, “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave,” started to sound ironic. 

There was a kiosk on the ferry, selling snacks, cup noodles and a little alcohol.  After the announcement of the tsunami alert, a huge queue formed at the kiosk and people came away with armfuls of instant food.  My wife bought some frozen edamame shelled peas, as well as crisps and chocolate.  It was lucky that we did buy snacks, because the restaurant was running out of food.  All of the 900 or so passengers were offered a free dinner.  We all got a half sized portion of rice with a little curry sauce.  The only solid food I found in the curry was a 2cm square cube of carrot.  Also, the curry was spicy, which made it hard for the children on board to eat. 

Luckily, before we left Tokyo, I had told my son that the most fun part of the trip would probably be the time we spent on the ferry, the Sunflower.  So he didn’t seem too disappointed to be stuck on it.  He walked out onto the deck many times and gazed at the sea and the land of Hokkaido.  Our ferry was soon joined by a long line of other ships, retreating out of the port to avoid any damage from the tsunami. 

At one point, the captain made an announcement.  “We cannot enter port until the tsunami alert is lifted.  We have enough fuel for the time being.  So please don’t worry,” he said.  I hadn’t been worrying until that point.  It hadn’t occurred to me that we might be running out of fuel. 

“Relax, said the nightman – You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave…” 

At last we did get permission to enter the port.  Then we had to decide how to cram three planned days of activities into one afternoon and evening, and one morning.  And for the next few days, I couldn’t stop the feeling that I was slowly swaying from side to side.  My legs were still in the Hotel California.

 

One Week Down －１週間が過ぎた－

It has been one week since my son started his school summer holidays. 

I took him out shopping with me this morning, and he was mostly helpful.  He let me put my hand on his shoulder and he guided me around the supermarket, picking out the things I wanted to buy.  We met the mother of one of his friends working at the checkout, who said hello to him. 

The problem of the summer holidays is finding ways to fill my son’s time.  Taking a walk to the supermarket, or letting him help with the cooking or washing up can help to break up the day.  Unfortunately, it can also lead to problems.  My son used the same spoon to scoop out some dressing and to scoop out sesame seeds, making all of the seeds dirty this morning. This caused a row with his mother. 

I mentioned last week that we got our son his first computer game to give him another way to kill time at home.  We got him the very old fashioned game Pong.  To win the game, you have to hit a ball across the screen to your opponent’s side, like a game of table tennis.  Because my son had never played a computer game before, he was very slow to pick up the idea of the game.  He couldn’t beat his computer opponent, and was getting very frustrated and angry.  So I suggested that he play a game against me. 

“He will gain some confidence from beating me,” I thought. 

I sat on the right side of the computer, and my son was on the left.  I am of course blind, so I was randomly moving the paddle up and down. 

“Ping, pong, ping!  The right player has won!” said the computer.  Somehow, my son had lost to a blind man.  No wonder he couldn’t beat his computer opponent. 

After a few days, my son got the hang of Pong and now beats the computer almost every time.  Pong was free.  We are thinking about buying the 1988 version of Double Dragon for 500 Yen next.  So the sounds will change from “Ping, pong, ping,” to “Bash, Crunch, Bash,” as it is a martial arts “beat-em-up” game.  And perhaps we can get through another week…

 

Vocabulary:

a row – a noisy disturbance or quarrel

[eg. He had a row with his girlfriend about money.]

a paddle – an alternate word for a table tennis racket.  According to Wikipedia, the official word is “racket” but it is generally called a “paddle” in America and a “bat” in Europe and Asia

beat-em-up – a genre of computer game, from the phrase “beat them up”.  It involves a character punching and kicking opponents

 

Ping, Ping －ピッピッ－

My son will be nine years old next month.  He said to my wife recently, “Today I was given the cold shoulder by my friends.” 

“Why were they ignoring you?” she asked. 

“Well,” he said.  “They asked me what computer games I played.  And all I could say was that I played a computer version of shogi (Japanese chess), and did English on line practice drills.” 

No wonder his friends left him out of their conversations about Splattoon and Mindcraft. 

Until now I haven’t let my son play computer games.  We don’t even have a television at home. 

There have been good things arising from this.  My son loves reading books.  To my mind, that is a more meaningful and useful hobby than watching tv or killing virtual monsters. 

But having said that, I played computer games myself when I was young.  I got particularly into a game called “Civilization” in which you have to build cities, discover new technologies faster than your opponents, and ultimately either conquer the world or be the first civilization to colonise space.  If I survived a childhood with computer games, then my son ought to be able to also. 

So with the school summer holidays starting from this afternoon, I have decided to compromise.  We have downloaded a pc game for my son to play.  I don’t want him to jump straight in with the most modern, 3D, fun and addictive game available.  So I have decided to go retro.  We have downloaded a pc version of “Pong”.  Pong was first released in 1972 by Atari.  It is one of the simplest games imaginable.  It is essentially a computerized version of table tennis (or ping pong), with the player able to move a line up and down one side of the screen to intercept a little block representing a ball, and thus direct it back across the screen. 

Am I being cruelly strict?  If he doesn’t get too addicted then perhaps we can slowly build up through Space Invaders and Pac-Man.  By the end of the school holidays, my son might have advanced all the way to the computer games of 1980.  Or perhaps he will decide computer games are overrated and go back to his books.

 

Vocabulary:

to give someone the cold shoulder – to deliberately ignore someone or treat them in an unfriendly way

[eg., Since I forgot her birthday, she’s been giving me the cold shoulder.]

 

Saying the Wrong Thing －口を滑らすことー

My wife recently met my eight year old son’s school teacher, to hear about how he is getting on in class. 

“Oh, thank goodness,” he said.  “I can think of a few things I can say about your son.” 

It sounded very strange to my wife.  It sounded like there were some kids in the class about which the teacher could think of nothing to say at all. 

“Well, Ms. Tanaka, your son is very, um, average.  Very normal.  Good job.” 

In one of my lessons, I ask my students if they have ever regretted expressing themselves poorly or saying the wrong thing. 

One student answered, “My friend told me she was getting divorced.  Without thinking, I just told her that I was not surprised, and that I had always thought her husband would have an affair.  Thinking about it later, I thought that maybe that was not what she wanted to hear.” 

I once heard this story from a nurse. 

The nurse was walking round the hospital ward to check on the patients she was treating.  There was a bunch of flowers sitting next to an old man lying in his bed. 

“Lovely flowers!” said the nurse.  “I wish I could keep some at home.  But everything I touch dies.” 

Seeing the man’s horrified face, she quickly said, “Flowers!  Just flowers, not people!”