A Shot at Glory －栄光への一撃－

“I could [have] had class.  I could [have] been a contender. I could [have] been somebody – instead of a bum, which is what I am.”

Spoken by Marlon Brando’s character in the 1954 film, “On the Waterfront”

 

What makes success?  Opportunity, certainly.  Hard work, generally.  And a little bit of luck, more often than people like to admit. 

My son’s elementary school was testing the physical prowess and endurance of its children recently.  In an endurance test, the children had to run between two points and back again before a certain time limit was reached.  The time limit got shorter and shorter as the test progressed, making the feat harder to achieve even as the kids got more tired.  As soon as the child failed to make the goal one time, the test was over and the number of completed runs the child had managed was counted up. 

From memory, my son completed only about 14 runs in the same test last year.  But he goes to a karate dojo, and they have been practicing a similar activity.  So my son was doing much better this year.  He got to twenty runs, then thirty.  He passed forty runs, then fifty.  Now he was approaching the best performers in his whole school year.  There were only two boys still ahead of him.  He tasted glory.  To be the top performer in his whole year! 

At 55 completed runs, one of my son’s shoes suddenly fell off.  We had bought him a new pair of gym shoes recently, and had bought a pair that were a little too big for him, so that he could grow into them.  The new shoes cost him his shot at glory.

There is always next year….

 

Stepping Out 一歩踏み出す

One advantage to watching a story on television, rather than watching a story being told at a theatre, is that the actors on television cannot step out of the screen and attack the viewer.  At least, as long as the character of Sadako in the Japanese horror film “Ring” is really only fictional. 

Just how different it is to watch a play was felt by an audience member in a London theatre this week.  After an emotional play about a serious topic finished, one of the actresses came back out onto the stage.  She then pointed into the front rows and complained that an audience member had been texting on his smartphone all through the play’s most dramatic and emotional scene.  The actress asked him to consider how difficult this was for the actors to see, given the effort they were putting into telling a powerful story. 

“I just hope you are a doctor and were texting something vital to save a patient’s life,” she said. 

The rest of the audience gasped and applauded the actresses criticism of the distracted texter. 

I think people should do this more often.  When my family and I had just finished our meal at a family restaurant, we went to a self service cash machine to pay the bill.  Several people were standing in front of the only machine, chatting to each other instead of putting their money in and letting the next person have access. 

We just stood quietly and waited for them to leisurely finish their conversation and eventually get round to paying.  What we should have done was step into their little bubble of reality like Sadako. 

“People… I think you will find that there is a queue forming behind you.  As much as we are all fascinated to hear about your nephew’s school grades, I think it is time for you to PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!” 

I’m not being too harsh, am I?  No, I didn’t think so.

 

A Lost Generation －失われた世代－

There was an interesting and worrying report published in the U.K. this week.  It is about how difficult it is for young people in Britain to get a job. 

Twenty years ago, the number of young people classified as “NEETs” – people not in employment, education or training – climbed to more than 100,000.  The government of the time warned that unless this changed, it might create a lost generation.  The number of young NEETs has just risen to more than 1,000,000, a massive increase.  Now 13.5 per cent of young people of working age in the U.K. are NEETs.  Six in ten of them have never had a job. 

The report says that there are many factors causing this, including a fall in the number of casual jobs, such as in bars, high street shops and restaurants which are suited to young people.  Another reason is an increase in mental illness in youngsters, which some people blame on smartphones.  Another reason given is the increase in the minimum wage that young people are entitled to, and increased rights for workers and taxes on business, making it less attractive for businesses to take a risk by hiring a young worker.  Then there is damage caused by the coronavirus pandemic and disruptions to education. 

It has always been difficult for young people to get a good and well paid job.  My older cousin told me that years ago he was given his first job by our uncle.  Our uncle owned several shops and a bar. 

“I can give you a job,” said our uncle.  “It will be tough work, but a good experience for you.” 

So my cousin took the job, working in the bar at night.  He took orders, cleaned glasses and learned how to pour drinks.  He was surprised to find that his uncle’s bar offered night entertainment to his gentleman customers, including a stripper. 

At the end of a hard first evening’s work, my cousin went to our uncle and asked for his wages.  Our uncle pointed to the lady entertainer who had taken her clothes off. 

“You got to see that for free didn’t you?  You don’t need any more wages than that.” 

My cousin quickly started looking for another job.

The Football Kid －フットボール・キッド－

Karate Sensei Kreese:

What do we study here?

Karate class (shouting):

The way of the fist, sir!

Kreese:

And what is that way?

Karate class (shouting):

Strike first; strike hard; no mercy, sir!

 

“Lesson not just karate only.  Lesson whole life.”

Mr. Miyagi

Both from the film, The Karate Kid

 

My nine year old son plays for his school football team.  They take part in competitions against teams from other schools, as well as private football clubs. 

The private clubs tend to have better players, and stricter coaches.  The school teams want to give a chance to all of the children to play, not just the best ones.  That is just as well for my son, since he is not one of the best players! 

Especially for young children, there has to be some balance between trying to win and trying to develop other life skills, such as confidence, friendship, and an appreciation of hard work.  At least that is how I see it. 

Not everyone agrees with my view, however. 

My son’s team were playing one of the strongest private club sides in the area recently.  My son’s team scored a goal against their better opponents.  Then the captain of the other team shouted, “Come on, guys!  We shouldn’t be losing goals to a team as bad as this!” 

This is where the coach of the club side should have said something like, “Hey, xx-kun!  You shouldn’t say things like that.  Don’t disrespect your opponents.” 

Instead, the coach just laughed.  I got the impression that the captain was repeating the same thing the coach had said to the team before the match.  It made me think of the coach as the nasty karate teacher, Mr. Kreese who taught the children in his dojo to compete with no mercy or sympathy for their opponent. 

I hope there is still room for teachers more like Mr. Miyagi, whose karate training methods included trying to catch a fly with a pair of chopsticks.

Ramen in Wonderland －不思議の国のラーメンー

 “Why, there’s hardly enough of me left to make a respectable person!”

Alice in Alice in Wonderland, after she has shrunk

 

I recently went to a Kitakata Ramen restaurant with my family.  We hadn’t been there for quite a while. 

While we were waiting for our order to arrive, a young woman sat down at the table next to ours.  I heard her order her food. 

“One bowl of normal ramen, with an extra topping of flavoured egg, and a side dish of gyoza.” 

“What an appetite she has!” I thought.  The last time I had been to Kitakata Ramen, one bowl of ramen had been more than enough to make me full. 

Then my bowl of ramen arrived.  The portion size had shrunk considerably.  My nine year old son complained that he was still hungry after he ate an adult portion of ramen. 

This is shrinkflation: instead of companies and restaurants putting up prices, they cut costs by shrinking the size of their meals.  Perhaps this is a chance to try a new diet.  In the shrinkflation diet, you don’t have to do anything differently.  You order exactly the same meals that you used to, and you too will shrink.

 

The Wise Sayings of Famous Characters －有名人たちの名言－

I read a funny poem recently by Ian McMillan.  It is about the main character of the first novel written in the English language, Robinson Crusoe.  In the 1719 novel, Robinson Crusoe is shipwrecked on an island for 28 years.  For almost all of the time he lives by himself, until eventually he escapes back to England. 

McMillan’s poem imagines some of the wise sayings Crusoe has come up with after his adventure.  These are a few examples from his poem: 

“You can never have too many turtle’s eggs.”

“I’m the most interesting person in this room.”

“A beard is as long as I want it to be.” 

I wondered what some other fictional characters’ wise sayings would be. 

“Try not to slam doors.”

“Check with air traffic control before flying near La Guardia Airport.”

“If you are strong enough, people will not laugh at a man who wears his underwear on the outside of his pants.”

Some Wise Sayings of Superman 

“Sunrises are overrated.”

“It is hard to get a dentist’s appointment twice.”

“Enjoy yourself while you can: you are a long time dead!”

Some Wise Sayings of Count Dracula

 

Gremlins in the Cracks －隙間にいるグレムリンたちー

“Don’t ever feed him after midnight!” 

“If your air conditioner goes on the fritz, or your washing machine blows up, or your video recorder conks out; before you call the repair man, turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds, [because] you never can tell – there just might be a gremlin.”

Quotes from the 1984 movie, “Gremlin”

 

The more complicated that technology becomes, the more dark corners there are for bugs and flaws to hide in.  We should expect errors, and not blindly rely on complicated systems to work well without human supervision. 

A recent example is that Chat GPT’s developers have had to tweak its code in order to stop it slipping words such as “goblin” and “gremlin” into its answers.  Apparently, the makers tried to make the AI chatbot sound more nerdy, to make it more engaging.  This rewarded the chatbot for using quirky metaphors.  So it started talking about users avoiding goblins instead of avoiding difficulties, or removing gremlins instead of fixing problems.  Users complained and the company changed the code, to ban the use of monsters as metaphors. 

Another story I heard today about a naive over-reliance on AI algorithms came from Sweden.  A mother was shocked that her child was assigned a school that was very difficult to get to.  Talking with other parents, the mother found that the same thing had happened to many of their children.  Instead of being sent to the nearest school, they had to travel miles down river, cross a bridge, and come miles back up the other side of the river. 

Eventually, after hiring lawyers and fighting the local education board in court, they found that the board had started using an AI algorithm to assign students to the school nearest their house.  This improved efficiency for the education board, and let their staff work on other things.  But the algorithm didn’t take account of roads, rivers, bridges and so on.  It just assigned students to the nearest school as if the students were birds, and could fly over all roads and obstacles. 

We will have to get used to living with gremlins.  There are bound to be ever more of them living alongside us in the future.