Chilied cricket versus steaming chicken feet －チリ・コオロギ vs 蒸し鶏の足

It can be hard for travellers to go to a foreign country and order food in a restaurant when they are not so familiar with the local language.

I have had a few disasters myself.  In Thailand, I saw a restaurant selling chicken feet.  I had never tried chicken feet before so I thought I would give them a go.  I pointed to a few which were sitting behind a glass counter.  I expected to get one or two as a side dish.  Instead, a while later the beaming chef produced a steaming plate piled high with chicken feet.  Tentatively I tried one.  It was rubbery and absolutely disgusting.  I didn’t think that I could eat many of them without vomiting.  I then ordered something else and played the old game of moving the feet around artfully to make their numbers appear smaller.  I switched some to my other plates, hid some under my rice and told the chef that they were delicious as I paid and left.

Britain is not generally known for exotic food.  The worst a tourist might expect is to order a hamburger and expect it to have any ham in it.

But perhaps that is all about to change.  It takes a lot of space and water to raise cows and pigs for human consumption.  So some environmentalists have suggested that we ought to eat more insects as a way of protecting the environment.  Partly for that reason, a new restaurant has opened up in the UK which specialises in cooking insects.

The owner of Grub Kitchen said, “We want to pioneer the Movement to normalise the eating of bugs on a day to day basis.  We are treating them as a normal food item, incorporating insect protein as an ingredient but using normal flavours we are familiar with and everyday food items we recognise.”

Sample items on the menu are chilied cricket cocktail and Pad Thai with worms.

I think it’s a wonderful idea.  I have never eaten an insect before but I think it must be a better way to get protein than farming intelligent animals.  Hopefully, the insects will suffer less than farmed cows and pigs.  And it will help the Earth too.

But I can’t help but wonder what will happen to unfortunate Thai tourists who come to Britain and find themselves in this restaurant without quite understanding what it is.  They might be feeling homesick and be hugely relieved to see Pad Thai on the menu.  Without knowing the word “worm”, they might guess that it is a cut of chicken.  Soon after, they’ll be hiding bits of worm under their napkins. 

Vocabulary:

a cricket – A type of leaping insect

to give something a go – to try something

to be beaming – To be smiling broadly

tentatively – Hesitantly; carefully and without confidence

to vomit – to bring up the contents of your stomach, for example when you are suffering from food poisoning

artfully – skilfully; creatively

an environmentalist – Someone dedicated to protecting the environment, or nature

grub – This is a slang term for food.  For example, “That restaurant has great grub.”

a grub – A type of insect

to pioneer something – to be one of the first to do something; to help to develop something new and make it popular, successful etc.

a bug – This is a slang term for an insect

to incorporate something – to take something in or include it as part of the whole

Pad Thai – Thai style fried noodles

a worm – An animal with a long, soft body which burrows underground

 

 

Monkey magic strikes again －モンキー・マジック、再登場－

Since it is approaching Halloween, it is not a bad time for a horror story. For the first part of the story, you can read last week’s blog. To summarise, an elderly couple living with their son come across a monkey’s paw with the apparent ability to grant three wishes. But it seems to do so in a twisted and evil way. The couple uses one wish to ask for 200 pounds. The next day their son is killed at his factory in a tragic accident and the old couple are given 200 pounds in compensation.

Be careful what you wish for. And be careful of giving your wife everything that she asks for…

 

An edited extract from “The Monkey’s Paw” by W.W. Jacobs, part 2 of 2:

In the huge new cemetery, some two miles distant, the old people buried their dead, and came back to a house steeped in shadow and silence. It was all over so quickly that at first they could hardly realize it.

 

It was about a week after that the old man, waking suddenly in the night, stretched out his hand and found himself alone. The room was in darkness, and the sound of subdued weeping came from the window. He raised himself in bed and listened.

 

"Come back," he said, tenderly. "You will be cold."

"It is colder for my son," said the old woman, and wept afresh. Suddenly she cried wildly.  "The paw! The monkey's paw!"

He started up in alarm. "Where? Where is it? What's the matter?"

She came stumbling across the room toward him. "I want it," she said, quietly. "You've not destroyed it?"

"It's in the parlour," he replied, marveling. "Why?"

She cried and laughed together, and bending over, kissed his cheek.

"I only just thought of it," she said, hysterically.  "Why didn't I think of it before? Why didn't you think of it? The other two wishes," she said, rapidly. "We've only had one.  We'll have one more.  Go down and get it quickly, and wish our boy alive again."

The man sat up in bed and flung the bedclothes from his quaking limbs. "Good God, you are mad!" he cried, aghast.

"Get it," she panted; "get it quickly, and wish--Oh, my boy, my boy!" 

The old man turned and regarded her, and his voice shook. "He has been dead ten days, and besides he--I would not tell you if I didn’t have to, but--I could only recognize him by his clothing. If he was too terrible for you to see then, how will he be now?"

"Bring him back," cried the old woman, and dragged him toward the door. "Do you think I fear the child I have nursed?"

He went down in the darkness, and felt his way to the parlour, and then to the mantelpiece.  The talisman was in its place, and a horrible fear that the unspoken wish might bring his mutilated son back seized upon him.

Even his wife's face seemed changed as he entered the room. It was white and expectant, and to his fears seemed to have an unnatural look upon it. He was afraid of her. 

"Wish!" she cried, in a strong voice. 

"It is foolish and wicked," he faltered. 

"Wish!" repeated his wife.

He raised his hand. "I wish my son alive again." 

The talisman fell to the floor, and he regarded it fearfully. Then he sank trembling into a chair as the old woman, with burning eyes, walked to the window and raised the blind. 

***

"What's that?" cried the old woman.

"A rat," said the old man in shaking tones--"a rat."

His wife sat up listening. A loud knock resounded through the house.

"It's Herbert!" she screamed. "It's Herbert!"

She ran to the door, but her husband was before her, and catching her by the arm, held her tightly.

"It's my boy; it's Herbert!" she cried, struggling mechanically. “What are you holding me for?  Let go. I must open the door."

"For God's sake don't let it in," cried the old man, trembling.

 

"You're afraid of your own son," she cried, struggling. "Let me go. I'm coming, Herbert; I'm coming."

 

There was another knock, and another. The old woman with a sudden wrench broke free and ran from the room. Her husband followed to the landing, and called after her appealingly as she hurried downstairs. Then she raised her voice, strained and panting.

"The bolt," she cried, loudly. "Come down. I can't reach it." 

But her husband was on his hands and knees groping wildly on the floor in search of the paw.  If he could only find it before the thing outside got in. Knocks reverberated through the house, and he heard the scraping of a chair as his wife put it down in the passage against the door.  He heard the creaking of the bolt as it came slowly back, and at the same moment he found the monkey's paw, and frantically breathed his third and last wish.

 

Vocabulary:

a cemetery – a graveyard; a place where people are buried after death

to be steeped in (shadow) – to be filled with (shadow)

subdued – quiet or dispirited

tenderly – affectionately; lovingly

to be aghast – to be filled with horror or shock

to regard – to look at

to be mutilated – about a living thing, to be badly disfigured or cut to pieces

to falter – to lose strength or momentum

to reverberate – of a loud noise, to repeat several times as an echo

frantically – desperately

 

Monkey magic －モンキー・マジック－

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a blog about the subject of making wishes and having them granted through magic. I mentioned a wonderful story by W.W. Jacobs called “The Monkey’s Paw”.

Here is an edited extract. An old man, Mr. White, lives with his wife and son.  When his old friend, a soldier, comes to visit, unfortunate consequences follow. In the first part, the soldier gives Mr. White the paw.  His son doesn’t believe in the magic, and makes fun of it. In the second part, the old couple gets a visit from one of the bosses at their son’s company.  Remember that in 1902, 200 pounds was a lot of money!

 

An edited extract from “The Monkey’s Paw” by W.W. Jacobs (1902):

 

"Well, it's just a bit of what you might call magic, perhaps," said the soldier, offhandedly.

His three listeners leaned forward eagerly.  The visitor absent-mindedly put his empty glass to his lips and then set it down again.  His host filled it for him.

"To look at," said the soldier, fumbling in his pocket, "it's just an ordinary little paw, dried to a mummy."

He took something out of his pocket.  Mrs. White drew back with a grimace, but her son, taking it, examined it curiously.

 

"And what is there special about it?" inquired Mr. White as he took it from his son, and having examined it, placed it upon the table.

"It had a spell put on it by an old magician," said the soldier, "He wanted to show that fate ruled people's lives, and that those who interfered with it did so to their sorrow.  He put a spell on it so that three separate men could each have three wishes from it." 

"Sounds like the Arabian Nights," said Mrs. White, as she rose and began to set the supper.

Mr. White took the paw from the table and eyed it dubiously.  "I don't know what to wish for, and that's a fact," he said, slowly.  "It seems to me I've got all I want."

"If you only paid off the mortgage on the house, you'd be quite happy, wouldn't you?" said his son, with his hand on his father’s shoulder.  "Well, wish for two hundred pounds, then; that 'll just do it." 

His father, smiling shamefacedly at his own credulity, held up the talisman, as his son, with a solemn face, somewhat marred by a wink at his mother, sat down at the piano and struck a few impressive chords.

"I wish for two hundred pounds," said the old man distinctly.

A fine crash from the piano greeted the words, interrupted by a shuddering cry from the old man.  His wife and son ran toward him.

"It moved," he cried, with a glance of disgust at the object as it lay on the floor.

"As I wished, it twisted in my hand like a snake."

"Well, I don't see the money," said his son as he picked it up and placed it on the table, "and I bet I never shall."

 

***

 

The next day, Mrs. White brought the stranger, who seemed ill at ease, into the room.  He gazed at her furtively, and listened in a preoccupied fashion as the old lady apologized for the appearance of the room.  She waited for him to state his business.

"I’m sorry, but your son was caught in the machinery," said the visitor at length in a low voice.

"He died.  The company admit no liability at all, but in consideration of your son's services, they wish to present you with a certain sum as compensation."

Mr. White dropped his wife's hand, and rising to his feet, gazed with a look of horror at his visitor.  His dry lips shaped the words, "How much?"

"Two hundred pounds," was the answer.

 

                   What’s your next wish?

 

Vocabulary:

a paw – The hand or foot of an animal, such as a cat or monkey

to make fun of something – to tease or laugh at something

offhandedly – without showing something special significance; casually

absent-mindedly – without paying attention; with your thoughts elsewhere

to fumble – to search for with your hand in a clumsy way; to try to pick something up in a clumsy way

a grimace – a facial expression which shows a strongly negative reaction, such as disgust or pain

dubiously – doubtfully; uncertainly

a talisman – a charm

credulity – willingness to believe; gullibility

solemn – serious; grave

to be marred – to be spoiled; to be made imperfect

to be ill at ease – to be in discomfort

to be preoccupied – to be thinking about something else

furtively – in a way which seems you want to remain hidden; slyly

liability – legal responsibility

 

Death to tipping, long live democracy! －チップの習慣に死を、資本主義万歳！－

“{Tips are} democracy’s mortal foe {because they} create a servile attitude for a fee.”

William Scott in “The Itching Palm”, 1916 

Tipping is the custom of paying a gratuity, or extra charge, when purchasing a service.  It is paid directly to the person who has served you, rather than their employer.  The custom is supposed to reward good service, or to top up the wages of employees.  In America, tips are considered an essential part of some workers wages, and they are needed by many restaurant staff to meet their living costs.

Whether tips are paid or not, and how much is expected, varies from country to country.  They are basically unknown in Japan.  It is usual to pay a tip of between 10 and 15 per cent in restaurants and taxis in the UK.  As suggested above, in America, tipping is more common and might be expected for a wider range of services.

But according to a news article I read recently, the custom of tipping might be on the way out. This is because people are using cards and internet banking to pay for many things that they formerly used cash for, and because they make many transactions over the internet rather than in person.  If you ordered your taxi through a phone app, and paid for it using an on-line service like PayPal, how can you tip the driver?

So if the custom of tipping is dying a death from new technology, should we mourn its loss?

I sympathise with lowly paid staff who are reliant on tips to pay their bills, but this could easily be fixed by forcing companies to pay a decent minimum wage.

I also can’t accept the argument that tipping encourages good service.  Believe me, the service in Japan compares very well with that in the US or UK.  I am reminded of an interesting story about a library which demonstrates the limits of using money as a motivating tool.  Every now and then in one library, users would bring the books that they had borrowed back late.  To try to reduce the number of people doing this, the library introduced a fine.  The number of people returning their books late then suddenly rose dramatically.  Before the fine was introduced, people returned the books on time because they felt it was their moral obligation to do so.  After the fine was introduced, the motivation was purely financial.  People no longer felt bad about returning the books late.  The same is probably true in the service industries.  People do a good job when they have pride in their work, rather than when they are offered a tip.

Perhaps surprisingly, tipping has at times had a very bad reputation in the US, where it is most common.  Six different states banned tipping for a while in the early 20^th Century and a number of organisations were founded to fight the custom.  These organisations argued that tipping forced an aristocratic relationship upon the person paying and the person accepting the tip.  Thus, it was anti-democratic.  William Scott wrote, “Tipping, and the aristocratic idea it exemplifies, is what we left Europe to escape.  It is a cancer in the breast of democracy.”

Try shouting that to the New York waiter as he chases you down the street for his tip.

 

Vocabulary:

a mortal foe – a deadly enemy

servile – showing an excessive willingness to serve or please others

to top something up – to increase something, like wages, a drink etc. a little beyond the current amount

to be on the way out – to be in terminal decline; to be facing removal, deletion etc.

a transaction – a deal; an instance of buying or selling something

to mourn – to feel or show grief or regret for a death

an obligation – a duty; something you should or must do

aristocratic – upper-class

to exemplify something – to be a strong example of something

 

On finding a magic lamp －魔法のランプを見つけることについて－

1 – I wish for an original blog entry to be emailed to me every Thursday, which I can then publish as my own work.
 

2 - I wish for my internet connection to permanently stabilise, never to freeze suddenly or cut out whilst I am listening to the radio again.

3 – I wish for a cheap and easy cure for hay fever to be discovered tomorrow.

These are quite modest wishes to make to the genie of a magic lamp.  But I know from a close study of fiction that making grand or purely selfish wishes can lead to trouble.

In a wonderful story entitled “The monkey’s paw” by W.W. Jacobs, an elderly couple are granted three wishes.  For their first, they ask to be rich.  The next day their son is killed in a tragic accident at work and they are paid a large sum of money as compensation.  Oops.

The boy’s mother then wishes for the son to be brought back from the dead.  At first the couple think that nothing has happened but, later that night, they hear an ominous thudding noise approaching their door.  The old man imagines the horror of his son’s rotting corpse shambling back to them in a nightmarish parody of life.  So he uses the third wish to cancel the second one just before his wife can open the door.

An episode of the X-files also explores the idea of people being given three wishes and having them granted but with unforeseen consequences.  A man wishes for the power of invisibility and is then quickly run over by a car as he is crossing the road in search of a changing room full of unsuspecting women.

I read the Arab folk story “Aladdin and the magic lamp” the other day.  In it Aladdin’s wishes are very straight-forward.  He is only interested in bling.  He has a huge palace constructed of diamonds and rubies, and he uses his power to win for himself the beautiful princess and a position of authority in the kingdom.  He lives happily ever after in the end, but only after attracting powerful sorcerers as enemies who constantly try to kill him or trick him into giving up his magic lamp.

I also noticed that Aladdin doesn’t even think about using his wishes to help others.  Shouldn’t he wish for at least one nice thing for the rest of us?  An end to plague, perhaps?  A new Disneyland to open up in the centre of Baghdad?  (Although the original story is set in China, perhaps because it sounded exotic to the Arabs.)

I’ve got to go now to blow my nose, while I wait for wish number 3 to be granted.  I wish you all a pleasant week.
 

Vocabulary:

to cut out – For a signal, electrical supply etc. to disconnect or stop working suddenly

hay fever – an allergy to pollen, which often causes sneezing, a runny nose etc.

modest – humble; small in scale or ambition

a genie – a mythical creature said to have magic powers, such as the ability to grant wishes to its master

grand – large in scale or ambition

compensation – A sum of money paid in exchange for loss, injury, death etc.

ominous – suggestive of coming bad consequences, evil etc.

a corpse – a dead body

to shamble – to walk in a stiff and poorly controlled manner, like a zombie

a parody – an imitation; a cheap, poor, or comic version of something

to be run over – to be hit by a car, especially when it passes over the top of the victim

bling – this is slang, meaning a garish show of wealth, jewellery etc.; over the top use of gold,jewels and other symbols of wealth

plague – terrible deadly illness