ジャパンタイムズの記事 －ウィルのフジロックの経験

Going in blind to Japan's Fuji Rock Festival

I wrote an article this week which was published in the Japan Times, an English language newspaper.  So I thought I would share the link here instead of writing a new blog article.

It is an article about my trip to Fuji Rock with a friend a few years ago.  Never forget to bring a folding chair!

Please take a look.

Thanks!

Will

Dear English Diary 01 – Bumping Into a Beginning －拝啓、英語の日記 ～始まりにぶつかること－

Tuesday 16^th July, 2019

I have started a diary.  I read somewhere that if you are going to be a good diarist then you should imagine that you are writing a diary to another person, not yourself.  So I am going to imagine that I am writing this diary for Ren, my grandson.

You can’t even read Japanese now, let alone English.  But maybe one day you will read it to practice your English.

So here is a message for you, future Ren: When you came to my house last week, you took off your nappy and peed on the floor.  I hope that now you are old enough to read English, you are treating your poor grandmother better.

I have started studying English again.  My teacher is a nice young man from Scotland.  I bumped into him on the street.  Actually, he bumped into me.  That’s because he is blind.  I was talking with my friend, Haru – you should call her, “Mrs. Haruyama”, Ren.  But I call her Haru.  Her husband died last year, so I like to meet her and keep her company.  We were chatting on a street corner when suddenly I felt something hit my leg.  It was the white stick of a blind foreign man.

“Watch out!” shouted Haru.  I thought it was a silly thing to say, since he had already hit me.  Haru often says silly things.  I think it’s because she is a piano teacher.  When I was a little older than you are now, I had a piano teacher, and she often said silly things too, like, “You have the fingers of an elephant!”  Elephants don’t have fingers or, if they do, they are so small that I have never noticed them.

So I spoke to this foreigner and asked where he was going.  “Back to my English school,” he said.  That’s when I decided to study English again.  So I followed him to his English school and started taking lessons at Nerima English.

I’ll tell you more about it in my next diary entry.

Toyoda Chihiro

Nerima English student

Vocabulary:

a diarist – Someone who writes a diary

not A, let alone B – no A so certainly not B (which is harder, more difficult to imagine, etc.)

to pee – to urinate; to release water from the body (eg. Into a toilet)

to bump into someone – to meet someone; to hit someone accidentally

to keep someone company – to spend time with someone to prevent them from being alone

blind – unable to see; having no or badly damaged eyesight

Watch out! – Be careful!/ Pay attention!

silly – ridiculous; making no sense

Opposites and Pleasures －反対と快感－

I recently read a poem by Bertolt Brecht called (Pleasures), which he wrote in the 1950s.  It is basically a list of things he liked, seemingly put together in a random order.  How many of his pleasures would you include in your own list?  Here is a translation of his poem:

First look from morning’s window,

The rediscovered book,
Fascinated faces,
Snow, the change of the seasons,
The newspaper,
The dog,
Dialectics,
Showering, swimming,
Old music,
Comfortable shoes,
Comprehension,
New music,
Writing, planting,
Travelling,
Singing,
Being friendly.

*

Brecht’s list is mostly simple and hard to disagree with.  I also like comfortable shoes and being friendly.

The one odd choice is dialectics.  The word can be used to mean different things but for Karl Marx  it meant seeing everything as having an opposite.  Any change to one thing also changed its opposite.  Brecht was a Marxist and claimed to be very influenced by dialectics.

I would suggest to Brecht that he should take out dialectics and replace it in his list with chocolate covered almonds.  Dialectics is very confusing if you are not a Marxist, whereas chocolate covered almonds can be enjoyed by almost everyone.  Also, take out “the dog”, and put in, “the cat”.  Now the list is perfect.

Vocabulary:

random – without a planned order

rediscovered – lost and then found again

fascinated – extremely interested

comprehension - understanding

planting – the putting of flowers, seeds, etc. into the ground

A Fairy Godmother, a Cat, and a Poor Old Woman －フェアリーゴッドマザー（魔法使い）、猫、それからかわいそうなお婆ちゃん－

Do you remember the story of Cinderella and her fairy godmother?  Cinderella was a poor but beautiful young girl who lived in a miserable condition.  But when she found that she had a fairy godmother, she was able to ask for three wishes to be granted for just one night.

Cinderella was a social climber.  So she wished to turn her shabby clothes into a beautiful ballgown, her pumpkin into a carriage, and some mice into horses and a carriage-driver.

Bling!  Things worked out well for Cinderella because she was able to seduce a rich prince before the magic wore off.

I recently heard about a fairy godmother who has been working in Scotland, helping nice but poor people in Dundee.  A Scottish folk singer called Hamish Imlach sang a song about the fairy godmother.  I like the story and I have edited it to make it easier to understand, and printed it below.  Can you catch the humour of the ending?


“Dundee Cat,” by Hamish Imlach (edited):

In an attic room in Dundee town,
Lived a poor old woman - spread this tale around.
She lived 50 years in a wee top flat,
With no other company but her wee tom cat.
Poor old woman.

One night by the fire she felt all alone,
Then who do you think called her on the phone?
 “I’m your fairy godmother, have no fear.
To grant three wishes I’m calling here.”
Poor old woman.

The old woman looked down at her empty purse:
“I could always use some cash, of course.”
The fairy made some magic sounds,
And there on the floor was 10,000 Pounds.
Poor old woman.

“Now a lovely face, and a body divine,
For just one night I wish they were mine.”
The fairy said, “I’ll have a go,”
And made her look like Brigitte Bardo.
Poor old woman.

This lovely girl, the fire she sat,
And turned her attention to her old male cat.
“He’s my only love, so here’s my plan:
Tonight make him my handsome man.”
Poor old woman. 

This handsome man to the girl came near,
He whispered softly in her ear,
“The night is young, but you’ll regret,
The day you took me to the vet.”
Poor old woman!

*

Snip!  The male cat lost something important when he was sent to the vet.

Vocabulary:

a social climber – someone who wants to rise to a higher class or social position

shabby - worn out and in a bad condition

to seduce someone – to attract someone’s romantic or sexual attention

an attic – the top room in a house

wee - small

divine – Heavenly; wonderful

to have a go – to try

“The night is young” – There is still plenty of time this evening

a vet – an animal doctor

Snip – the sound of something being cut