Thursday, 29 April 2021

On Choosing Paths -道を選ぶことについて—

I have never been much interested in poetry.  But I downloaded an audio book of poetry recently, and enjoyed a lot of the poems. 

Here is a famous and beautiful one by Robert Frost.  The narrator can see two paths through the woods in front of him.  He has to decide which path to walk down.  He looks for a long time down one path.  But he decides to take the other path, because it looks like it has been walked on a little less. 

He wonders if he has really chosen the better path.  There isn’t much difference between them.  And he realises that he will probably never have the chance to go back and try the first path. 

In life we often have to make choices between two paths.  And we will never be able to go back and see how the other choice would have turned out.


“The Road Not Taken”, by Robert Frost:


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;


Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,


And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.


I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.


Vocabulary:

to diverge – of a road, route, etc., to separate and go in a different direction from the original path

undergrowth – a thick growth of low plants in a wood or under trees

fair – nice, lovely

(many years) hence – (many years) from now; (many years) in the future




 

Thursday, 22 April 2021

I Wonder -私は不思議に思う-

1

I wonder how cavemen cut their toenails?  Can you imagine how difficult it would be without using scissors? 

I think cavemen would have bitten their fingernails to keep them short.  But you can’t bite your own toenails.  Maybe, if you were a caveman, you would have to ask someone else to bite them for you. 

“Mummy!  My toenails are getting long.  I can’t walk!” 

“Can’t you wait a little longer?  I hate biting your toenails.  Your feet smell so bad!” 

“Mummy, how can you say that?  I had a bath only three months ago.”

 

2

I wonder who drank cow’s milk for the very first time? 

Just what was he trying to do?  And what did his fellow tribesmen think when they saw him doing it?



 

Thursday, 15 April 2021

I Interview a Man who Owns a Moon -僕は衛星所有者にインタビューする-

I recently travelled to the future, to interview a successful entrepreneur for the magazine High-flier.  The entrepreneur Sir Muster will be very successful in 50 years, and he kindly loaned me his company’s time machine to allow me to do the interview.  I have printed a part of it below. 

This week High-flier News had the opportunity for an exclusive interview with Sir Muster, the Solar System’s superstar entrepreneur, XYZ Group founder, multi trillionaire, moon owner, philanthropist and adventurer. This man needs no further introduction from us. You have probably already read one of his best-selling books, such as, “If It Ain’t Broke, Break It.”  But even if not, you’ve definitely heard about some of his latest ventures, such as XYZ Time Travel. 

Our reporter William Lang joined him for a cup of coffee and an exclusive chat.

WL: It feels like Santa has come early.  I’m here with XYZ founder, Sir Muster, and I can ask him anything I want.  So, Sir Muster, have I been pronouncing your group correctly?  Is it “Ziz,” or “Ecksiz?” 

SM: You choose. 

WL: Okay, great.  It’s like, we can all choose.  I mean, Ziz or Ecksiz: either would be okay.  I think that’s so clever.

So, I want to get one of your kind of catch-phrases out of the way first.  You have caused a certain amount of controversy by adopting the slogan for your group, “Be evil.”  Do you believe that people are born evil, or is this something that we have to work at or can be kind of like taught? 

SM: Everyone is born at least a little evil, and everyone has the potential to develop their capacity for evil. It’s just that not everybody gets the opportunity. I believe that evil has a positive impact on all of our lives if done well, and it has the power to change humanity for the better. Over the years at XYZ we have found ways to tap into and develop man’s natural capacity for evil. 

This is why we have partnered with Pyongyang Business School and the Tranquility School of Economics to provide over £40 billion for thousands of aspiring evil-doers across Earth and Luna, whilst providing expert guidance on everything from building better nuclear weapons to off-planet tax havens

I’ve always been passionate about supporting evil; it is the lifeblood of creativity. 

WL: It’s so nice when someone gives back to their fans.  I know that there are so many out there who are inspired by you.  It’s so rare these days that someone would, you know, make the time to give back to the community.  By the way, I think your outfit is terrific. 

SM: Thanks.  I’m dressed as Mothra from the classic Godzilla series.  I find it reminds the XYZ staff of where we are trying to get to, and keeps them on their toes.  The death ray is functional, but it’s more of an ornamental thing than a practical consideration.

You’ll have to wait 50 years to read the full interview in High-flier magazine.

 


Vocabulary:

an entrepreneur – someone who starts new companies or businesses

a philanthropist – someone who donates a lot of money to good causes, to help humanity

a capacity for something – the maximum amount that something can be done, stored, etc.

to tap into something – to make use of something, exploit something

a tax haven – a place, often where companies make their headquarters, where taxes are very low

to keep someone on their toes – to keep someone feeling nervous or uncomfortable



 


Thursday, 8 April 2021

The Little Sumo and the Black Hole, part 3 -小さなお相撲さんとブラックホール パート3-

In parts 1 and 2, the Little Sumo lost his beans inside a tiny black hole.  Trying to get them out again, he stuck his finger in.  But, oh dear!  The black hole attached itself to his finger. 

* 

The Little Sumo shook his hand back and forth vigorously, but the black hole didn’t fall off.  This did not look good.  Hadn’t Daddy said that black holes were dangerous?  He might get really mad if he found out that the Little Sumo had stuck his finger into one. 

I’d better ask Mummy, he thought.  Maybe I can get my finger out without anyone noticing. 

So he hid his right hand, the one with a black hole attached, behind his back.  And he climbed up the steps and entered his house.  He had to do everything quite slowly and carefully, because he was using his weaker left hand.  But he opened the door, and found Mummy. 

“Mummy, he shouted.  “What should you do if you get stuck inside a black hole?”

Part 3: 

Mummy was busy working at her computer again.  “What’s that?  A black hole?  Hmm, do you mean a hole in space?” 

“No, Mummy,” said the Little Sumo.  “I mean a hole beside the steps.” 

“Ah,” said Mummy.  “So you’re playing on the steps outside.  Well, I’m a little busy just now.  But why don’t you try some magic powder?  That might make the black hole disappear.” 

Mummy stood up and took the Little Sumo to the kitchen.  She looked a little puzzled at the way he held one of his arms behind his back, out of her sight, but she decided not to ask him about it.  He’s probably protecting his magic beans, she thought. 

Mummy unhooked a rack of spices from the wall, and placed it on the ground.  These jars contain magic powder.  Why don’t you try adding just a pinch to the black hole.  Do it outside, so that you don’t make the kitchen messy.  And don’t use too much, mind – we need them for cooking dinner.” 

Mummy showed the Little Sumo how to open the lids of the spice jars.  “By the way, did you manage to fight off the demons?” 

“Yes, Mummy,” said the Little Sumo.  I used the magic beans.” 

“As I said, don’t use too much spice.  And come back and tell me when you’re finished,” Mummy said.  “I’ve got to get back to work now.” 

When Mummy left the kitchen, the Little Sumo relaxed his right arm and took a look at his hand.  The ugly black hole was still there.  It seemed to have pushed its way a little further down his finger, pulling more of the Little Sumo inside it.  I’d better use the magic powder quickly, he thought. 

Using just one hand, it was very hard to take the spice rack outside and down the steps.  The Little Sumo had to pick the rack up in one hand and carry it to the front door.  Then he had to put it down while he opened the door.  He then held the door open with his bum while he bent down to pick up the rack again.  Eventually, he made his way down to the bottom of the steps. 

He set the spice rack down beside Daddy’s basil plant, where all the trouble had started.  Oh, dear, thought the Little Sumo.  I forgot to ask Mummy which jar contained the magic powder. 

He sniffed a jar containing some white crystals.  Then he touched a finger to the top of the jar and licked his finger.  It was salt.  It didn’t taste too bad.  Maybe this is the magic powder, he thought.  So he held out his right hand and tipped some salt over it.  The salt disappeared into the black hole, and the Little Sumo could feel it tickling his finger inside.  He waited for the hole to disappear.  But instead, the black hole started to get bigger.  He felt a pull on his middle finger, and suddenly it too was pulled into the hole! 

Oh, this is not good at all, thought the Little Sumo.  It likes to eat salt! 

He quickly looked for another powder, one which the black hole wouldn’t like eating.  I know, he thought – curry powder!  The Little Sumo wouldn’t eat any of Mummy and Daddy’s curries, because they were too spicy.  So maybe the black hole would refuse to eat it too.  He found the correct powder.  It was yellow, and he could tell it from the smell.  He held out his hand and poured the curry powder over the hole.  The powder disappeared, and the Little Sumo felt it tickling his fingers.  He waited.  But then, as before, the black hole grew bigger.  Suddenly the Little Sumo’s thumb was pulled into the hole, which had become the size of a tennis ball. 

Oh, no, thought the Little Sumo.  It even likes to eat spicy curry!  He looked at the space where his thumb should be.  What am I going to suck now when I am unhappy? 

The Little Sumo decided to make one last try.  If this didn’t work, he would have to tell Mummy and Daddy that he had gotten stuck in the black hole.  Maybe Daddy would have a plan.  Perhaps he could feed the entire house to the black hole, and they could all live inside it together.  But maybe he could find the right magic powder by himself. 

He started sniffing the tops of all the jars.  Sniffing one of the jars made his nose and throat suddenly tickly.  He sneezed.  Then he sneezed again.  This seems to be having a magical effect on me, thought the Little Sumo.  Perhaps this is the right powder. 

He pulled out the jar of the black powder and started shaking lots of it over the black hole.  He felt the powder tickling his thumb and fingers inside the hole.  He waited breathlessly.

The black hole started trembling on the end of his hand.  The Little Sumo felt that something big was going to happen.  He wondered what it would be like to live for the rest of his life inside the black hole.  He wished he had fed some toys to it.  He held his hand up high into the sky, above his head.  The black hole started shaking from side to side. 

“Aaaa-Chooo!” 

The black hole sneezed incredibly loudly, and the force of the sneeze shot the hole up into the sky.  It kept going higher and higher as the Little Sumo watched.  Perhaps it will fly all the way off into space, he thought. 

The Little Sumo looked at his right hand, which had all of his fingers and thumb.  They were dirty with various powders.  His four beans had fallen to the ground. 

Just then Mummy and Daddy came running out of the house together. 

“What was that noise?” said Daddy. 

Mummy came down the steps.  “Oh, Little Sumo!” she said.  “I told you not to use too much.  What have you been doing with all my black pepper?”

 

Vocabulary

a rack – a shelf with a frame, for holding things such as jars or magazines

a pinch – an amount, usually of a powder, which can be collected by picking it up between two fingers

messy – in a disordered state; not neat and tidy

to sniff something – to breathe something in sharply through your nose

to tremble – usually of a part of the body, to slightly shake due to a loss of control





 

Thursday, 1 April 2021

 Goodbye, Immigration Bureau -ジャパンタイムズに記事が掲載されました-

I wrote an article for the Japan Times this week about the Regional Immigration Bureau.  The government is now allowing foreigners to change their visa status online, without needing to go to the building. 

I found it ironic that although the Immigration Bureau monitors and deports people, you can find a very diverse group of people there.  That is because, until now, almost every foreigner has had to visit periodically. 

When I went there recently, I found it strange that none of the staff seemed to speak English or Chinese, or other foreign languages.  All of the announcements were only in Japanese. 

You can read the article here (you may need to create an account):

ウィルのジャパンタイムズの記事(2021/3/29)