Ashes to Ashes －灰は灰に－

I have a student who had a romantic notion about what should happen to her ashes after she dies. 

“Although I’m Japanese, I wanted my ashes to be scattered into the River Ganges after my death,” she told me. 

She changed her mind after actually visiting India. 

“The river seemed quite dirty.  I’m not sure I would like to spend eternity there.” 

In Britain people are sometimes cremated too, and their ashes are placed in an urn and given to their family. 

Just like my student who had a romantic notion about the River Ganges, Britons sometimes have romantic notions about where their ashes should be placed after their death.  It is not uncommon for fanatical fans of a particular football club to request that their ashes be buried underneath the pitch of their club’s home ground. 

But what if the club moves to another ground? 

This happened at the football club York City recently.  The club sold its old ground, where the team had played for 89 years, to housing developers.  The ashes of 15 fans had been buried under the old ground.  The club called in archaeologists to try to recover the ashes before the houses are built.  In the last article I read about the story, they had recovered 7 sets of ashes.  So 8 sets of ashes have not been recovered. 

I suppose the moral of the story is that this world is for the living, not for the dead.

A Foreigner’s View of Japanese Elections －ジャパンタイムズに記事が掲載されました－

What would you say to the Japanese prime minister if he suddenly appeared in front of you?  How about suggesting that the government support a Go To English study campaign, like the Go To Travel and Go To Eat campaigns?  Maybe you wouldn’t recognise the new prime minister because he is so new in office. 

I recently wrote an article for the Japan Times about elections in Japan.  I wrote about a friend who came close to a former Japanese prime minister, and a foreigner who really wanted to say something at a political rally in Tokorozawa. 

You can read the article here:

ジャパンタイムズ記事リンク（2021/10/18）

The Sand in your Eyes －目の中の砂－

Do you ever wake up with something small and hard, like a grain of sand in the corner of your eye?  If so, then you have been visited by the Sandman.  According to legend, he throws sand into the eyes of sleepers.  In some tales he does this to give them pleasant dreams. 

In the 1954 song by the Chordettes (which is the most famous version), the Sandman also has a “magic beam.”  Perhaps he is carrying a torch, which produces a magical beam of light, allowing him to see into a sleeper’s dreams.

 

Edited extract from, “Mr. Sandman,” by the Chordettes:

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

Make him the cutest that I’ve ever seen.

Give him two lips like roses and clover

Then tell him that his lonely nights are over

 

Sandman, I’m so alone

Don’t have [anybody] to call my own

Please turn on your magic beam

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

*

And what were you dreaming of last night?  Why is there so much sand in your eyes?  Don’t overuse that magic beam.  Lips like roses and clover can be addictive, you know.

 

The Spy who Loved Me －私を愛したスパイ－

The new James Bond movie is being released in some countries.  A lot of people are excited, since the movie’s release was delayed several times because of the coronavirus pandemic. 

The Bond movies are famous for spectacular stunts, a luxurious lifestyle of fast cars and Martinis, and beautiful “Bond girls”.  James Bond seems to have difficulty maintaining a long term relationship with any of these women.  Maybe it is too difficult to have a long-term girlfriend when you are regularly travelling around, saving the world.  And even if Bond could keep a girlfriend, would it be a happy relationship for his partner? 

* 

His proposal of marriage was certainly memorable.  Instead of going down on one knee and asking me to marry him, he booked a luxury room in an underwater hotel.  There was a window in our room, which looked out into the ocean.  You could see fish swimming past the window, because the room was 10 metres underwater. 

One morning I awoke to the sound of an alarm clock.  My boyfriend wasn’t in the bed next to me.  I turned the alarm clock off and, as I did so, I found a note next to it.  On the note was written, “Look out of the window, darling.” 

So I ran to the curtains and opened them.  My boyfriend was there, outside the window.  He wasn’t wearing a diving suit.  He was just holding his breath.  He pulled out a note from his swimming trunks, and held it up against the window.  It said, “Will you marry me, darling?” 

Well, I didn’t have much time to think.  I thought he would run out of air if I waited too long, so I held up a thumb and nodded my head.  My boyfriend kissed the glass, then pushed a button on his swimming trunks.  I think he had some sort of clever device attached, because he suddenly shot up to the surface in a cloud of bubbles. 

On our tenth wedding anniversary, my husband suggested that we celebrate by drinking champagne in a private aeroplane, while watching the sunrise. 

When I got to the airport at the time we had arranged, he still wasn’t there.  But he called me to say that he would meet me on the plane.  So I boarded.  The funny thing was, he wasn’t inside.  I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just sat in my seat and read an in-flight magazine. 

The plane took off.  An attendant brought me some champagne.  Next to the champagne there was a note.  The note said, “Look out of the window, darling.” 

“Not again,” I thought.  Couldn’t he just give me some flowers or chocolate like a normal man?