One Week Down －１週間が過ぎた－

It has been one week since my son started his school summer holidays. 

I took him out shopping with me this morning, and he was mostly helpful.  He let me put my hand on his shoulder and he guided me around the supermarket, picking out the things I wanted to buy.  We met the mother of one of his friends working at the checkout, who said hello to him. 

The problem of the summer holidays is finding ways to fill my son’s time.  Taking a walk to the supermarket, or letting him help with the cooking or washing up can help to break up the day.  Unfortunately, it can also lead to problems.  My son used the same spoon to scoop out some dressing and to scoop out sesame seeds, making all of the seeds dirty this morning. This caused a row with his mother. 

I mentioned last week that we got our son his first computer game to give him another way to kill time at home.  We got him the very old fashioned game Pong.  To win the game, you have to hit a ball across the screen to your opponent’s side, like a game of table tennis.  Because my son had never played a computer game before, he was very slow to pick up the idea of the game.  He couldn’t beat his computer opponent, and was getting very frustrated and angry.  So I suggested that he play a game against me. 

“He will gain some confidence from beating me,” I thought. 

I sat on the right side of the computer, and my son was on the left.  I am of course blind, so I was randomly moving the paddle up and down. 

“Ping, pong, ping!  The right player has won!” said the computer.  Somehow, my son had lost to a blind man.  No wonder he couldn’t beat his computer opponent. 

After a few days, my son got the hang of Pong and now beats the computer almost every time.  Pong was free.  We are thinking about buying the 1988 version of Double Dragon for 500 Yen next.  So the sounds will change from “Ping, pong, ping,” to “Bash, Crunch, Bash,” as it is a martial arts “beat-em-up” game.  And perhaps we can get through another week…

 

Vocabulary:

a row – a noisy disturbance or quarrel

[eg. He had a row with his girlfriend about money.]

a paddle – an alternate word for a table tennis racket.  According to Wikipedia, the official word is “racket” but it is generally called a “paddle” in America and a “bat” in Europe and Asia

beat-em-up – a genre of computer game, from the phrase “beat them up”.  It involves a character punching and kicking opponents

 

Ping, Ping －ピッピッ－

My son will be nine years old next month.  He said to my wife recently, “Today I was given the cold shoulder by my friends.” 

“Why were they ignoring you?” she asked. 

“Well,” he said.  “They asked me what computer games I played.  And all I could say was that I played a computer version of shogi (Japanese chess), and did English on line practice drills.” 

No wonder his friends left him out of their conversations about Splattoon and Mindcraft. 

Until now I haven’t let my son play computer games.  We don’t even have a television at home. 

There have been good things arising from this.  My son loves reading books.  To my mind, that is a more meaningful and useful hobby than watching tv or killing virtual monsters. 

But having said that, I played computer games myself when I was young.  I got particularly into a game called “Civilization” in which you have to build cities, discover new technologies faster than your opponents, and ultimately either conquer the world or be the first civilization to colonise space.  If I survived a childhood with computer games, then my son ought to be able to also. 

So with the school summer holidays starting from this afternoon, I have decided to compromise.  We have downloaded a pc game for my son to play.  I don’t want him to jump straight in with the most modern, 3D, fun and addictive game available.  So I have decided to go retro.  We have downloaded a pc version of “Pong”.  Pong was first released in 1972 by Atari.  It is one of the simplest games imaginable.  It is essentially a computerized version of table tennis (or ping pong), with the player able to move a line up and down one side of the screen to intercept a little block representing a ball, and thus direct it back across the screen. 

Am I being cruelly strict?  If he doesn’t get too addicted then perhaps we can slowly build up through Space Invaders and Pac-Man.  By the end of the school holidays, my son might have advanced all the way to the computer games of 1980.  Or perhaps he will decide computer games are overrated and go back to his books.

 

Vocabulary:

to give someone the cold shoulder – to deliberately ignore someone or treat them in an unfriendly way

[eg., Since I forgot her birthday, she’s been giving me the cold shoulder.]

 

Saying the Wrong Thing －口を滑らすことー

My wife recently met my eight year old son’s school teacher, to hear about how he is getting on in class. 

“Oh, thank goodness,” he said.  “I can think of a few things I can say about your son.” 

It sounded very strange to my wife.  It sounded like there were some kids in the class about which the teacher could think of nothing to say at all. 

“Well, Ms. Tanaka, your son is very, um, average.  Very normal.  Good job.” 

In one of my lessons, I ask my students if they have ever regretted expressing themselves poorly or saying the wrong thing. 

One student answered, “My friend told me she was getting divorced.  Without thinking, I just told her that I was not surprised, and that I had always thought her husband would have an affair.  Thinking about it later, I thought that maybe that was not what she wanted to hear.” 

I once heard this story from a nurse. 

The nurse was walking round the hospital ward to check on the patients she was treating.  There was a bunch of flowers sitting next to an old man lying in his bed. 

“Lovely flowers!” said the nurse.  “I wish I could keep some at home.  But everything I touch dies.” 

Seeing the man’s horrified face, she quickly said, “Flowers!  Just flowers, not people!”

 

A Message from the Ministry of Dreams －夢省からのメッセージー

You have bought your regular lottery ticket.  You don’t expect ever to win big, but it helps you to dream.  If only…

Your phone buzzes and you check the message.  It is from the state owned lottery provider.  It is a notification of a win.

“Congratulations!  You have won 100,000,000 Yen!” 

100 million Yen!  You can’t believe it.  Miracles do happen.  You could buy a house, a sports car, a yacht. 

Hold on a second, there is another message coming through on your phone. 

“The state lottery provider would like to offer its sincere apologies for sending a message to you in error.  Due to a technical fault, the prize money sent in our last communication was inaccurate.  You have in fact won 10,000 Yen.  Congratulations!” 

Something like this actually happened in Norway this week.  The Norwegian state owned lottery provider allows Norwegians to buy tickets for the Euro Jackpot lottery, which is based in Germany.  So the prize money to be provided to Norwegian winners has to be converted from Euro Cents into Norwegian Kroner.  The prize money was supposed to have been divided by 100, but was accidentally instead multiplied by 100.  So the amount that prize winners actually got was 10,000 times smaller than the amount they were told that they were going to get. 

Scrap the purchase of a house, sports car and yacht.  I think I need a 10,000 Yen bottle of whisky instead. It helps me to dream…