Weaving Romances with a Neanderthal’s Lips －ネアンデルタール人の唇でロマンスを送ることー

“Darling, come over here and sit next to me.” 

“Why?” 

“I’ve had an idea that I think you’ll like.  Open your mouth a little bit – that’s it!  Now I’m going to initiate a non-aggressive, mouth to mouth contact, with lip movement, but no transfer of food.” 

“Well, it doesn’t sound so exciting, but if it makes you happy then I’ll give it a go.  What do you call it?” 

“A kiss.” 

* 

This week, some scientists studying the evolution of kissing in animals published some interesting research.  They found that many animals, including polar bears, chimpanzees and bonobos kissed.  They also noted that Neanderthals and humans must have kissed each other, since Neanderthals had the same bacteria in their saliva as modern humans do.  This suggests that they had been swapping saliva, even after they became separate species. 

The scientists suggested that the most likely date for the evolution of the kiss amongst apes like us is about 21 million years ago. 

It is not known why the kiss evolved.  Perhaps the exchange of saliva also involved an exchange of information.  You may have been able to taste some illness or unfortunate condition in the cute, lumpy Neanderthal you were kissing at the caveman disco, and decided that the relationship should end with just a kiss. 

“Leave me one thing before we part,

A kiss to build a dream on…

Oh, give me your lips for just one moment,

And my imagination will make that moment live.”

From Harry Ruby song, “A Kiss to Build a Dream On”, performed by Louis Armstrong

  

Lumpy Russian Pancakes －ボコボコしたロシアのパンケーキー

Recently I have been reading a book called, “Putin’s People,” about the rise to power of the Russian president. 

It is an interesting book.  But as well as the politics, I have enjoyed reading some Russian proverbs which occasionally appear.  Many of them are similar to English equivalents, while others are interestingly different.  Here are a few which I found in the book or online.

 

“The first pancake is lumpy”

It takes time to get things right.  Practice makes perfect.

 

“If you know too much, you get old very quickly.”

Sometimes it is better not to know.  Curiosity killed the cat.

 

“A word is not a sparrow.  Once it flies out, you won’t catch it.”

You can’t take back something once you have said it.  So be careful what you say.

 

“A wolf is fed by its legs.”

You have to work hard for success.  Laziness doesn’t pay.

 

“Even a hedgehog can understand.”

This is simple.  It is not rocket science.

 

“Don’t bring your own rules into someone else’s monastery.”

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

 

“Love is so cruel that you could fall in love with a goat.”

You could fall in love with anyone, even if they seem inappropriate.  Love is blind.

 

“If you are scared of wolves, don’t go into the forest.”

If you can’t handle the task, then don’t get involved.  If you can’t stand the heat, keep out of the kitchen.

 

“If you are going to call yourself a mushroom, then get in the basket.”

Stop talking about doing something and just do it.  Put your money where your mouth is.

 

The Lottery of Death －死亡の抽選－

“A dreaded sunny day, so I meet you at the cemetery gates –

Keats and Yeats are on your side,

While Wilde is on mine.”

From The Smiths song, “Cemetry Gates”

 

This is nothing to do with the recently passed Halloween, but I quite like walking around graveyards – in the daytime, anyway.  It is particularly nice if you can find the grave of a long dead poet, artist or other admired person. 

So how do you like the idea of resting forever alongside Oscar Wilde or Frederic Chopin in a Paris cemetery? 

That chance is being offered to residents of the city.  Because it is the responsibility of families to maintain the graves of their deceased loved ones and not the Paris authorities, many old Parisian gravestones and monuments have fallen into disrepair.  The local government wants to tidy up these old, ruined graves.  So they are offering residents of Paris the chance to buy one of them.  If they do, they will be guaranteed a spot in the graveyard for themselves when they pass on.  This is a rare privilege, since the graveyards inside the city limits have been basically full for around 100 years.  The buyer will then be responsible for restoring the old grave, as well as preparing their own. 

Although it will be an expensive commitment, many wealthy Parisians have applied to join the scheme.  Because demand is higher than supply, the city authorities are holding a lottery draw. 

The lucky winners of the lottery of death will be able to sleep forever close to other famous residents, such as Edith Piaf, Marcel Proust, and Edgar Degas.

Piaf and Sartre are on your side, while Wilde is on mine.