Notorious Nicholas “Claws” and What a baby wants from Christmas －悪名高きニコラス・クローズ（かぎ爪）、それから赤ちゃんはクリスマスに何がほしいか－

Honest citizens, beware!

The notorious super-villain Nicholas “Claws” is active again.  Police say he is planning to break into honest folks’ homes by climbing down their chimney.

Like an evil Superman, he always commits crime dressed in bright red pyjamas.  He is said to have a team of flying reindeer pulling a sleigh as a getaway vehicle.  Neighbourhood watch schemes are urged to make a list of good, reliable boys and girls to watch the skies for the villain.  They should not go unarmed, so we suggest giving them a large sock or stocking filled with heavy objects to use as a weapon.

A former victim, Mr. B. Crosby, says he is praying for snow, so that his roof is too slippery to climb on.  He also suggests wrapping your valuables in paper, so that Claws will not know what to grab.

Don’t be a victim!  Cover your house in lights and jingling alarm bells.  Keep some crackers ready to scare the reindeer.  And, above all, keep a warm fire going on the hearth.

**

Let’s take our minds off such criminal behaviour.  Christmas is supposed to be about celebrating the birth of a child.  So, in that spirit, we have arranged a second interview with BabyBoyE.  He is now four months old and our special technology has allowed us to translate his “Gwa-Waa-Hyuu” language into English.

Interviewer:
What would you like Santa to give you as a Christmas present? 

BabyBoyE:

What do you mean?  Who is this Santa?  What is a Christmas present? 

Interviewer:

Ah, I forgot.  It’s your first Christmas.  Santa is a kind of... magic person, who gives little children what they most want on one day of the year. 

BabyBoyE:
So you mean, like, I just have to say, “Give me milk now!” and this Santa will come running over and give me milk?

Interviewer:
Well, kind of.  But it’s not just milk he gives.

BabyBoyE:
So then, I shout something like, “Pick me up and give me a cuddle, or I’ll scream until the roof falls in!” and this Santa has to hurry over and give me a cuddle?

Interviewer:
Uhh... Sort of

BabyBoyE:
Well, I don’t think I’ll be needing anything like that. We’ve got a kind of Christmas system going on in our house all year round. And I already know two of those magic people.

**

Merry Christmas from me, BabyBoyE, and MagicMomma.



Vocabulary:

notorious – famous for behaving badly

a villain – the opposite of a hero; someone who does wrong or commits crime

a getaway vehicle – The vehicle – car, motorbike etc. – used by a criminal to escape after committing a crime

to urge – to strongly encourage

unarmed – not carrying a weapon

a hearth – a fireplace

a cuddle – a hug; the act of wrapping your arms around someone