“I think I must have gotten it from you.”
Pulling out another tissue, she stares accusingly
at me. Never mind that I am still shivering
with fever, have a headache, a ripping pain in my throat and enough goo
in my nose to fill a small fish tank.
Now I’ve got to feel guilty as well.
“Uudz nyo ma fo datko juzim dalek me. Adin nyangbaidem enoh enidin.”
(Translation: It’s not my fault that cold
germs seem to like me. I didn’t invite
them in or anything.)
Why is it that when we catch a cold, we
always look for someone to blame. We
turn into detectives, trying to force a confession out of the
person we think has passed “their” cold onto us.
The cold is a virus. It could have been transmitted to us from any
number of sources. Perhaps the door
handle we touched had the virus on it.
Perhaps it was on the handrail we used to help ourselves down the stairs
at the station. Perhaps it was in the
mouth of that office worker with the runny nose who coughed right in our
face because he was too busy playing a game on his smartphone to cover his
mouth. Okay, maybe it is reasonable to
get annoyed about that last one.
I somehow brought home a horrible cold. It’s so bad that I am starting to wonder if a
certain nearby crazy country developed it to assassinate unpopular
family members in airports, and it escaped.
Shortly after I caught it, my wife
mysteriously got a horrible cold too. And
then my six month old son (Ouch!) It
could be a coincidence, couldn’t it?
Where’s my lawyer?
to sneeze – to suddenly and violently
release air from your nose and mouth, often because of pollen or other irritation
accusingly – Showing blame towards another
to shiver – to shake uncontrollably, as
with cold or fever
goo – a slang term for sticky and
disgusting fluid
a detective – someone who investigates and
solves crimes
a confession – an admission of guilt or
wrongdoing
a runny nose – the state when your nose is
constantly releasing fluid, often because of a cold
to assassinate – to kill, especially of an
important political figure
