It’s a long way up to the ninth floor. So you press the button for the
elevator. It arrives and the doors
open. It contains only a single, heavily
pregnant woman. Looking at the
woman, you marvel that she can be getting out and about so late in her
pregnancy. She looks so heavy that the
baby could pop out at any moment.
What do you do? Do
you smile, step in, and make some baby related comment to share the woman’s
joy? Will you take the lift with
her up to the ninth floor?
Don’t be a fool! Ask,
“Going down?” and pretend that you are waiting for an elevator going in the
other direction. Then breathe a sigh of
relief. If necessary, go and take the
stairs just to calm yourself down.
Why would I give such harsh advice? I have nothing against pregnant women.
It’s just that I’ve read so many stories about pregnant
women getting stuck in some awkward place, then going into labour, and
some unlikely hero having to help deliver the baby. What if the elevator gets stuck, and
you’re the only potential hero in the vicinity?
This week a baby was born on a flight from Saudi Arabia to
India. The Indian airline promised to
allow the baby free flights for life, which sounds nice. But I also noticed that their statement
praised the cabin crew, as well as a passenger who was a nurse, for
helping deliver the baby.
The cabin crew had to help deliver the baby? Can you imagine the conversations that must
have gone on?
“Um, Tina, could you come through here?”
“Well I’m a little busy right now. I’m pouring cups of tea and coffee for the
passengers.”
“Yes, I see that. But
I want you to put down the coffee pot and come and deliver this baby.”
“But I haven’t finished.
There might be some more passengers who want coffee...”
“Tina!”
“Oh, all right. But
I’d better get a bonus for this. Just
promise me you won’t give away my bonus money to the baby as free flights for
life or something stupid like that!”
Vocabulary:
heavily pregnant – at an advanced stage of pregnancy
to marvel – to wonder; to be amazed
a lift – British English for an elevator
to go into labour – for a pregnant woman or female to start
to give birth
to deliver a baby – to help a pregnant woman or female to give
birth
to get stuck – to become trapped or unable to move
in the vicinity – in the area nearby
the cabin crew – the staff on an aeroplane
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