This week it was announced that Japanese
billionaire Yusaku Maezawa has paid “a lot of money” to be flown around the
moon in the first commercial flight to the Earth’s satellite. If all goes to plan, the trip will take place
in 2023, and Mr. Maezawa plans to invite a number of artists along for the ride.
Personally, I wouldn’t pay a lot of money
to fly around the moon. I think I will
wait until I can at least get out of the ship and have a walk around up there. I hear that Australia is nice too. But I wouldn’t pay JetStar a lot of money to
fly me over the deserts of Australia, circle a few times and then come back
again – no matter how good the in-flight peanuts and movies were.
But to celebrate the planning of this
fantastic journey, I thought I would post a short story of another fantastic
journey. This one was also partly
inspired by the moon.
Edited extract from “Diary of a Madman,” by
Nikolai Gogol, written in 1835:
And so, here I am in Spain! And it happened so quickly that I can hardly
believe it. This morning the Spanish
delegates arrived and I got into a carriage with them. The extraordinary rapidity of our journey
struck me as strange. We went at such a
rate that within half an hour we had gone from Russia to the frontiers of Spain
- but of course now there are railroads over Europe, and ships go very rapidly.
Spain is a strange land. When we went into the first room I saw a
number of people with shaved heads. I
guessed at once that these were nobles or soldiers because they do shave their
heads. I thought the behaviour of the
High Chancellor, who led me by the hand, extremely strange. He thrust me into a little room and said,
“Sit there! And if you persist in
calling yourself King Ferdinand, I’ll beat the idea out of you!”
But knowing that he was only testing me I
refused. Then he hit me twice on the
back with a stick. And it hurt so that I
almost cried out. But I restrained
myself, remembering that this is the custom of chivalry on welcoming any very
important person. For customs of
chivalry persist in Spain to this day.
When I was alone I decided to occupy myself
with the business of ruling the kingdom.
I discovered that Spain and China are one and the same country. It is only through ignorance that they are
considered to be different kingdoms. I
recommend anyone to try to write “Spain” on a piece of paper, and it will always
turn out “China”!
But I was particularly distressed by an
event which will take place tomorrow.
Tomorrow at 7 o’clock a strange phenomenon will occur: the Earth will
sit on the moon. I must confess that I
experience a tremor in my heart when I reflect on the extreme softness and
fragility of the moon. You see, the moon
is usually made in Hamburg – and very badly made too. It was made by a barrel maker, and it is
evident that the fool had no idea what a moon should be. He put in lamp oil. And that is why there is such a fearful
stench everywhere all over the world that one has to stop up one’s nose. And that’s how it is that the moon is such a
soft globe that man cannot live on it, and that nothing lives there but
noses. And it is for that very reason
that we cannot see our noses, because they are all in the moon! And when I reflected that the Earth is a
heavy body and when it falls may grind our noses to powder, I was overcome by
such uneasiness that, putting on my shoes and stockings, I hastened to the hall
of the Imperial Council to give orders to the police not to allow the Earth to
sit on the moon.
The nobles whom I found with shaved heads
in the Imperial Council were very intelligent people. And when I said, “Gentlemen! Let us save the moon, for the Earth is trying
to sit upon it!” they all rushed to carry out my wishes, and several of them
climbed up the walls to try and get at the moon. But at that moment the High Chancellor walked
in. To my amazement the Chancellor
struck me with his stick, and drove me back to my room. How great is the power of national tradition
in Spain!
*
So the journey to Spain was only the crazy
fantasy of a lunatic. Let us hope that
Mr. Maezawa’s journey to the moon is not.
Vocabulary:
Luna – the Earth’s moon – the word
“lunatic”, or madman also comes from the word Luna
to go to plan – to happen as one planned it
or intended it
a delegate – a representative
rapidity – great speed
the frontier – the border or edge
a noble – a person born into a high class;
a Lord, etc.
to thrust – to push with sudden force
chivalry – an old-fashioned code of polite
behaviour
ignorance – lack of knowledge
fragility – the state of being easily
broken or damaged
stench – strong and horrible smell
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