Better value for sumo passengers? － 力士のお客さんの方がお得？ －

This week I have been thinking about two small incidents.  I am not sure if there is really a strong link between them.  But one incident made me remember the other.  Let us see if you can also find a link.

A number of years ago I went to Tokyo Disneyland.  I had to wait in a queue for more than an hour to get on one of the rides.  It was hot, I was tired, the food was over-priced and poor, and no amount of jollity from men in giant rodent costumes was cheering me up.

But whilst waiting in the queue I was able to pass the time by observing a sumo wrestler who was also queueing.  He was with his girlfriend, who was tiny by comparison and very beautiful.  They seemed to be having a better time than me and were laughing and joking together.

When I eventually got to the front of the queue and got into the ride, I found that the space for passengers was quite limited.  It was a little uncomfortable for me, and I only weigh 55 kg.  I was sure that the sumo was going to have real difficulties getting on the ride.  I wanted to hang around and see what happened.  I had an image of the sumo wrestler being forced to wait for an hour and a half only to be told he couldn’t get on, and then becoming furious and charging around Disneyland like Godzilla, destroying everything in his path.  That had to be more interesting than a two minute roller coaster ride.

Unfortunately, I was also accompanied by my partner and she was still enthusiastic about getting on.  So we got on the ride and I didn’t see what happened with the sumo.

The point of the story is this: In facilities built for public use, it’s one size fits all.  Amusement parks, bus companies, airlines and so on don’t build seats of various sizes for various body shapes.  You have to squeeze in as best you can into a seat for the average person.  So large people can lose out.

But sometimes they have the advantage.  If you get on an aeroplane, the airline will check the weight of your bags carefully.  There will be a maximum weight limit and if you exceed the limit then you have to pay an extra fee.  This makes sense, since for every extra kilogram of weight brought on board, the aeroplane will have to use extra fuel to carry everything aloft and the costs for the airline will increase.  But if that’s true, why don’t fat people have to pay extra money to board?  Why don’t I get a “55 kg or less” discount?  On a plane, the sumo wrestler will be getting better value for money for his ticket.

Recently, however, some thin passengers seem to have cottoned on to the inherent injustice of this system.  They are turning themselves into sumo wrestlers in order to escape the costs of bringing large amounts of carry on baggage.

A few days ago there was a great story about a minor celebrity from my home town of Glasgow.  He is a singer in a boy band.

He was due to get on a flight from London to Glasgow, which is a short flight of about an hour.  When he tried to carry two bags onto the plane, he was told that he would have to pay an extra 45 pounds for bringing on a second bag.  Being a clever Scotsman, he came up with a plan to avoid the charge.  He emptied one of his bags, which contained his clothes.  He then put on all of the clothes.  He was thus wearing six t-shirts, six jumpers and four pairs of trousers and looked like a sumo.  He then stuffed his other bag into the empty one.  He got on the plane and avoided paying any extra charge for the second bag.

Unfortunately, during the flight he continued to wear his sumo disguise, or all of the extra layers of clothing.  He began to feel unwell, vomited on the plane and showed all of the symptoms of heat exhaustion.  When the plane landed, he had to be rushed to hospital.  Although his health recovered, his dignity may have suffered permanent damage.

... So was there really any link between these two stories?  Sometimes thin people have the advantage, and sometimes fat people do?  Going to Tokyo Disneyland is just as annoying as getting on a flight, except that the food is worse and the waiting seems longer?  Okay, I’m not sure there really was a link.  It’s 35 degrees and I think my brain may be malfunctioning.  But I hope you enjoyed the stories anyway. 

 

Vocabulary:

a queue : a line formed by people, cars etc. waiting their  turn for something

jollity – the quality of being cheerful.  This word is often used at Christmas.

a rodent – a group of mammals, which includes mice and rats

to be furious – to be violently angry

to exceed – to go over something, like a limit, maximum size etc.

to carry something aloft – to carry something into the air

to cotton on – This is a casual phrase, meaning to figure out or come to understand something.  For example: He cottoned on to his wife’s affair.

to be inherent – to be a permanent or essential characteristic

carry on baggage – luggage or bags which are carried on to a plane by a passenger, as opposed to check in baggage, which is stored in the hold

to malfunction – to fail to function normally

 

 

It’s good to talk －話すことは良いことです－

Imagine that you are on a train platform, walking slowly and carefully towards the stairs.  Now imagine that you are walking slowly and carefully because you are blind.  You are using your white cane to follow the tactile pavings (yellow blocks) which run along the ground and lead to the stairs.  But don’t worry: you have used this train platform hundreds of times before, and you know exactly where you are and how to get to where you want to go.  You are only walking slowly to avoid bumping into other people.

Then imagine that without saying a word, someone suddenly grabs your arm and starts physically pulling you in a different direction, towards the escalators.  You would be rather surprised, and probably not terribly happy. 

This happened to me in a train station yesterday.  It doesn’t happen too often but every now and then someone will grab me suddenly as I am walking along, and try to pull me in some direction or other, without saying, “Hello,” or “Excuse me” or , “Hey, can I drag you around like a sack of potatoes?” 

Of course, most people are much more sensible.  On the same day, a little earlier, another person approached me as I was walking towards the ticket gates.  She asked in polite Japanese whether I needed any help.  I told her that I was fine and thanked her for her offer, and we went our separate ways.  I felt pleased by having a little human contact and that somebody was making sure I was okay.  Probably the woman also went away feeling pleased with a little human contact and at having done something nice for another person.  This is obviously a better way to try to help someone. 

“Helping” a vulnerable pedestrian by suddenly grabbing them is a little bit like deciding to fix your neighbour’s tv by breaking in in the middle of the night.  You know that you mean well but to the other party it might be quite alarming... 

Anyway, I shook the guy off and managed to get to my destination without further trouble.  Yesterday reminded me that it is generally nice to interact with friendly people once in a while, and also that it is good to talk. 

Vocabulary:

a tactile paving – This is a tile set into the ground to assist pedestrians who are visually impaired.  They can be found in many train stations in Japan.

every now and then – Occasionally

to be vulnerable – To be in a weak or dangerous state or position

to break in – To enter someone’s house or property by force

to be alarming – To be frightening; causing worry

I’ll see you in Doggy Heaven －犬天国で会いましょう－

Last week I wrote about Tokugawa Tsunayoshi, who in the 17^th century introduced a law in Japan which made the harming of a dog an offense punishable by death.

I’d like to relate a further story I found amusing from the same era.

Tsunayoshi not only decreed that dogs must not be harmed.  When they died, they had to be given funeral rites as if they were a human.  This involved carrying them up a mountain and laying them to rest there as a mark of respect.

A Westerner who was living on Dejima in Nagasaki and who was occasionally allowed, or forced, to travel to Edo to consult with the shogun kept a diary detailing many of the interesting incidents he saw on the way there.  During the era of compassion for dogs, he noted an incident like this: 

Two farmers were each carrying a dog up a mountain.  The heavy beasts were slung across their shoulders, and the farmers’ backs were bent as they trudged up the mountainside.

One farmer grumbled to the other, “This is madness.  Why do we have to sling these dogs over our shoulders and climb up a mountain, just because the shogun was born in the year of the dog?”

The other farmer shifted under the weight of his own dead dog before sagely replying, “Well, it could be worse.  He could have been born in the year of the horse.”

The Western observer did not record whether the first farmer laughed or not.

 

Vocabulary:

to relate – to tell something in detail.  We relate incidents, the details of something, stories etc.

to decree – for someone in authority to make a rule or law, telling people what they have to do

a rite – a ceremony or ritual

to sling/ to be slung – to put or carry something so that it is hanging down.  We often say “sling A over B” or “sling A across B”

to trudge – to walk with a slow and heavy step, as when you are very tired or carrying a heavy load

to grumble – to complain, especially in a low tone

sagely – wisely; like a sage

 

 

It’s a dog’s life – a lesson from Japanese history － これぞ、犬の一生 ～日本史からの教訓～ －

Nobody ever told me that Japanese history could be so much fun!

I studied history at university, and have lived in Japan for around ten years, so perhaps I should have found an interest in Japanese history much sooner.  But until now I didn’t investigate it much except to decide that I would rather have been a samurai than a ninja.

I would have  come to it much earlier if I had known about the shogun who was as eccentric as any modern day leader of Pyongyang.  I have been reading recently about Tokugawa Tsunayoshi, the fifth Tokugawa shogun, who ruled from 1680 to 1709.  

He was raised as a scholar, rather than a samurai, and was deeply interested in Buddhism and neo-Confucian Chinese writers.  He was also, apparently a bit of a mummy’s boy, and relied heavily on his mother’s advice.

He is famous for his “edicts on compassion for living things”, which have a lovely title but seem mostly to have been a list of things that people could be executed for doing.  In particular the edicts made it an offence punishable by death to harm a dog.  Tsunayoshi had been born in the year of the dog and his mother always impressed on him the need to be kind to those animals.  This edict earned Tsunayoshi the pejorative nickname of the dog-shogun.

At this time the capital city Edo already had a number of stray dogs living off scraps and what they could scavenge.  Many were sick and half starved.  It sounds like a lovely and compassionate thought to let these poor creatures live, to give food to them and protect them.

But as Tsunayoshi must have read in his studies of Buddhism, life is suffering.  If you give extra food to a group of wild animals, and protect them from being killed, they will not enjoy the ease and comfort for long.  Instead, their numbers will rapidly increase until they are half starved again, but at a much higher population density.

This is exactly what happened in Edo.  The city became filled with wild dogs, which sometimes banded together and attacked children and other weak pedestrians.  By 1695 there were so many dogs that they caused the city to stink horribly.  Tsunayoshi’s solution was to gather up 50,000 of the dogs and move them to special kennels in the city’s suburbs, where they were fed rice and fish at the taxpayers’ expense.

Tsunayoshi died at the age of 62 and the terror of his compassion ended.  Some sources say that he planned to pass the shogunate on to his young male lover, and his appalled wife may have assassinated him.  According to this theory, quoted on Wikipedia, fearing that Tsunayoshi’s plan would cause so much scandal and division that it would ignite a terrible civil war, she killed him and then herself.  The mighty shogun killed by his own wife?  Didn’t I say that he was a mummy’s boy? 

Vocabulary:

a dog’s life – a miserably unhappy existence.  For example: He has been living a dog’s life since his wife left him.

to be eccentric – to be unconventional and slightly strange

to be neo-Confucian – to be later works, based on Confucianism, or revivals of older Confucian ideas.

Confucianism – The system of beliefs based on the writings of Confucius, called 孔子 in Japanese.

a mummy’s boy – This is a slang term, meaning a boy or man who is overly influenced by or reliant upon his mother

an edict – an official order or command, given by someone in authority

compassion – sympathetic pity or concern for the suffering of others

to execute – to punish by killing

to be pejorative – to be meant or used in a negative way

to scavenge – to hunt for food or materials discarded by others

to stink – to smell terribly

a kennel – a man-made home for dogs

to be appalled – to be shocked and horrified

to assassinate – to kill by deliberate plan, especially of important political figures

 

 

Last words on madness, 2 － 狂気についての最後の言葉2 －

This is the second and final part of Guy de Maupassant’s short story, “Mad”.  Please note that this story contains some violence and is not suitable for younger readers. 

In the first part of this story, the narrator tells of his passion for a beautiful woman, his lover.  He cannot control his desire when he is with her, and so feels like her slave.  He sees, or imagines that he sees, her desire for him growing weaker.  So he becomes suspicious that she will leave him and insanely jealous of whatever new passions she might feel…

An edited version of Guy de Maupassant’s “Mad”, part 2 (of 2): 

At times she would say:

"Men disgust me!"

Then I became jealous of her indifference, of her thoughts, which I knew to be impure, and when she awoke sometimes with that same lazy look I suffocated with anger. An irresistible desire to choke her and make her confess the shameful secrets of her heart took hold of me.

Am I insane? No.

One night I saw that she was happy. I felt, in fact I was convinced, that a new passion controlled her. As of old, her eyes shone, she was feverish and her whole body fluttered with love.

I feigned ignorance, but I watched her closely. I discovered nothing however. I waited a week, a month, almost a year. She was radiantly, ideally happy; as if soothed by some passing caress.

At last I guessed. No, I am not insane, I swear I am not. How can I explain this horrible thing? How can I make myself understood? This is how I guessed.

She came in one night from a long ride on horseback and sank exhausted in a seat facing me. An unnatural flush coloured her cheeks and her eyes,—those eyes that I knew so well,—had such a look in them. I was not mistaken, I had seen her look like that; she loved! But whom? What? I almost lost my head, and so as not to look at her I turned to the window. A servant was leading her horse to the stable and she stood and watched him disappear; then she fell asleep almost immediately. I thought and thought all night. My mind wandered through mysteries too deep to understand. Who can understand the strange whims of a sensual woman? 

Every morning she rode madly through hills and each time came back lazy and exhausted. At last I understood. It was of the horse I was jealous—of the wind which caressed her face, of the leaves and of the dewdrops, of the saddle which carried her! I resolved to be revenged. I became very attentive. Every time she came back from her ride I helped her down and the horse made a vicious rush at me.

 

She would pat him on the neck, kiss his nostrils, without even wiping her lips. I watched for my chance. One morning I got up before dawn and went to the path in the woods she loved so well. I carried a rope with me, and my pistols were hidden in my breast as if I were going to fight a duel. I drew the rope across the path, tying it to a tree on each side, and hid myself in the grass. Presently I heard her horse's hooves, then I saw her coming at a furious pace; her cheeks flushed, an insane look in her eyes. She seemed in bliss; transported into another world.

As the animal approached the rope he struck it with his fore legs and fell. Before she had struck the ground I caught her in my arms and helped her to her feet. I then approached the horse, put my pistol close to his ear, and shot him—as I would a man. 

She turned on me and dealt me two terrific blows across the face with her riding-whip which knocked me over. As she rushed at me again, I shot her!

 

Tell me: am I mad?

 

Vocabulary:

to disgust someone – to cause someone to have a very unpleasant reaction.  For example: The taste of Marmite disgusts me!

to suffocate – to die from being unable to breathe.  For example: When there was a fire, a man suffocated because of the smoke.

to be irresistible – to be something which cannot be resisted; something you cannot fight against.

to choke somebody – to make it hard for someone to breathe, usually by pushing hard on their throat

to flutter – to make quick, soft movements, like the movements of a butterfly’s wings

to feign ignorance – to pretend not to know

to soothe – to give comfort to; to calm

a caress – a stroke, or gentle and loving touch

a flush – the reddening of the skin, when blood rushes to it.

to lose one’s head – to lose control of one’s mind or emotions

a whim – a sudden desire

to be sensual – to be pleasant to the physical senses; to be sexually attractive

a duel – an arranged fight between two men to defend their honour, sometimes fought with pistols

hooves – the hard parts of the feet of animals like horses

 

 

 

Last words on madness, 1 － 狂気についての最後の言葉1 －

My last two blog posts have concerned psychopaths and mental disorder.  So I thought I would finish off the topic with a wonderful short story on the theme of madness. 

For the very top quality madness, as perhaps you will know from your own experience, you have to go to France.  So below is a short story by French writer Guy de Maupassant.  It is a little long for a blog post so I’ll put it up in two parts.  You will have to wait one more week for the ending. 

The language in the version I had was very challenging, so I have edited it in order to make it simpler.  This was first published in French in 1882.

 

An edited version of “Mad” by Guy de Maupassant, part 1 (of 2): 

Am I insane or jealous? I don’t know which, but I suffer horribly. I committed a crime it is true. But is not insane jealousy, betrayed love, and the terrible pain I endure enough to make anyone commit a crime, without actually being a criminal? 

I have loved this woman to madness —and yet, is it true? Did I love her? No, no! She owned me body and soul, I was her plaything, she ruled me by her smile, her look, the divine form of her body. It was all those things that I loved but the woman contained in that body, I despise her; hate her. I always have hated her, for she is impure. She is but a mass of soft flesh in which lives impurity! 

The first few months of our union were deliriously strange. Her eyes were three different colors. No, I am not insane, I swear they were. They were gray at noon, shaded green at twilight, and blue at sunrise. In moments of love they were blue and nervous. Her lips trembled and often the tip of her pink tongue could be seen, as that of a reptile ready to hiss. When she raised her heavy lids and I saw that passionate look, I shuddered, not only for the unceasing desire to possess her, but for the desire to kill this beast. 

When she walked across the room each step resounded in my heart. When she disrobed and emerged impure but radiant from the white mass of linen and lace, a sudden weakness seized me, my limbs gave way beneath me, and my chest heaved; I was faint, coward that I was!

Each morning when she awoke I waited for that first look, my heart filled with rage and hatred for this beast whose slave I was; but when she fixed those blue eyes on me, that lazy look showing traces of sleep, it was like a burning, unquenchable fire within me, inciting me to passion. 

When she opened her eyes that day I saw a dull, indifferent look; a look devoid of desire, and I knew then she was tired of me. I saw it, knew it, felt right away that it was all over, and each hour and minute proved to me that I was right. When I beckoned her with my arms and lips she shrank from me.

"Leave me alone," she said. "You are horrid!" 

Then I became suspicious, insanely jealous; but I am not insane, no indeed! I watched her slyly; not that she had betrayed me, but she was so cold that I knew another would soon take my place.

 

Vocabulary:

to betray – to be unfaithful or disloyal

to endure – to bear something unpleasant, like pain or discomfort

to despise – to hate with intensity

deliriously – madly, crazily

twilight – The half light when the sun is below the horizon

to possess – to own

to disrobe – to undress; to take off a robe

to be radiant – to be glowing; shining

to be unquenchable – to be something which cannot be extinguished, put out or removed. For example: He has an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. He is always eager to learn new things.

to incite – to cause; inspire.  For example: His words incited the crowd to violence.

to be indifferent – to be without interest or emotion

to be devoid of something – to be entirely without something.  For example: He killed himself because he was devoid of hope.

to beckon – to make a motion encouraging someone to come closer

to shrink from – to move away from; to be unwilling to go near

slyly – cunningly; secretively

 

I’m not mad, honestly －狂ってないのよ、本当に－

In my last blog entry, I discussed Jon Ronson’s book, “The Psychopath Test”, explaining a test used to tell if someone is a psychopath or not.

One of the interesting true episodes which the book discusses is the case of a criminal in the UK who was found guilty of assaulting a homeless man.  He admitted that he had assaulted the man after an argument, and that he had severely injured him.

Before the trial, he expected to be found guilty and to be sentenced to around seven years in prison.  This, as you can imagine, was not an appealing prospect, so he hit upon a plan to make things easier for himself.  He decided to pretend that he was mad.

If he were found to have committed a crime whilst not being responsible for his own actions, he could not be punished.  Instead, he would be sent to a hospital for treatment.  He might then enjoy a few years of looking at the pretty nurses, doing a little therapy, and then be miraculously cured and released.  What a smart plan!

Well, no, not really.  At first the plan worked very well.  Quoting lines of dialogue from various films featuring psychopaths and madmen, the criminal successfully persuaded everyone that he was a dangerous psychopath.  So, naturally enough, he was sent to a kind of specialised prison-hospital for the criminally insane: serial rapists, killers and other people that you probably don’t want to live close to.  It wasn’t the pleasant, relaxing time looking at nurse’s legs that the criminal had imagined.

Realising his mistake, he confessed that he had only been pretending to be mad.  On consideration, he would prefer to go to a regular prison to serve his time after all.  But no one believed that he was sane.  In fact, no matter how he behaved, the doctors seemed to use it as a reason why he should stay in the hospital longer.  If he joined in group activities, the doctors said that this showed that the treatment was helping him and so he should stay longer.  If he refused to join in with the group activities, the doctors said that he was withdrawn and unable to fit into society, and that he had to stay longer.  He stayed in the hospital for more than 20 years, all the while trying to prove that he was not really mad.  Had he accepted responsibility for his crime at first, he would have been a free man much sooner.

Is there a moral to this story?  One lesson might be not to try to weasel out of responsibility for the things that you have done.

Another lesson might be that it is very difficult to define sanity and madness, or to categorise anyone as wholly sane or mad.  We all do things from “Bark!” time to time that others might think are strange.  How would you convince a sceptical doctor that you were “Woof, woof!” perfectly normal, like me?

 

Vocabulary:

an episode – An incident; a series of connected events

to assault someone – To commit a crime by being violent towards someone

to be sentenced – To be given a punishment by a court

to be appealing – To look good; to be desirable

a prospect – A possible, or probable, future event

therapy – Treatment, especially through discussion to solve mental problems

to confess something – to admit something

to be withdrawn – For a person to be isolated; not engaged with the outside world

to weasel out of something – To try to escape something that should be properly accepted, like responsibility or punishment for your actions

to be sceptical – To be critical; disbelieving; not prepared to easily accept things as they appear