How Michael Jackson made his unique sound －マイケル・ジャクソンはどうやってあの独特な歌い方を作ったか－

I have never been a big fan of Michael Jackson, the so called “King of Pop.”

But I was listening to some of his songs on Spotify recently, and I was reminded how many great hits he had – Thriller, Bad, Smooth Criminal and Blame it on the Boogie, to name a few.

What you also notice about Michael Jackson is his unique singing style.  He punctuates his singing with little squeals and funky noises, which are a bit like high-pitched coughs.

“Ah-hnng – Stop pressuring me!  Ah-hwyygh – Stop pressuring me – Glagh – It makes me wanna scream – Whoo!”

Listening to the great variety of little noises he made while singing, it made me wonder how he came up with his unique singing style.

After much consideration, I decided that probably he was performing in shoes which were two sizes too small for him.  One day, he must have ordered a new pair of shoes, and put them on just before the concert started.  They were too tight for him, but the concert was just about to start and he had no time to find another pair.  So he went on stage and started singing and dancing, all the while in a lot of pain from his tight shoes.

“You know I’m bad – Aoow! – I’m bad – Eek! – I’m really, really bad – Ouch!”

The audience loved his new sound.  And Michael wore those tight shoes for the rest of his career.

 

Vocabulary:

to punctuate A with B – to mark A with regular little breaks of B.  For example, “He was very unhappy.  He told me what had happened, but he punctuated his story with cries and sobs.”

a squeal (verb: to squeal) – a very high cry or sound.  For example, “The piglets (baby pigs) squealed to get their mother’s attention.”

 

Are You a Cat Person? －ネコ派ですか？－

 What a wonderful thing it is to have a pet!  When you feel stressed or down, they are a great comfort.  And in times of crisis, they can help in other ways. 

I am more of a cat person than a dog person.  Here are some thoughts I had about the usefulness of pets in a crisis.

 

The Long Siege Swing 

Well, hungry honey, let me whisper in your ear:

Everybody wants to eat a cat,

Because a cat’s got meat and fat,

If you know where it’s at.

Notice: everyone’s picking up on that feline meat,

‘Cause even the dogs are obsolete.

 

A rat with a tail

Makes your jaw muscles fail,

When they chew the plague.

With a ‘roach in a pot,

Though with mustard, and hot:

It will taste quite vague

Cha-cha-ba-dum-bo-day

 

Who wants to catch a lark, or bony stuff like that;

When everybody wants to eat a cat?

 

Vocabulary:

a siege – a military operation to surround an enemy or group, and prevent them from accessing food or supplies

feline – of cats or related to cats

obsolete – no longer produced or used; out of date

a ‘roach – a cockroach (a kind of insect)

a lark – a kind of bird

 

An Olympics without Fans －ファンのいないオリンピック－（ジャパンタイムズに記事が掲載されました）

I wrote an article about the delayed 2020 Tokyo Olympics.  You can find the link here:

ウィルのジャパンタイムズ掲載記事リンク（2021/05/10）

 

The Olympics usually has exciting moments, such as underdogs surprising everyone by winning their event.  But will the Olympics be exciting without the atmosphere produced by fans in the stadiums?  How exciting can a 100 meter sprint really be, when it finishes in only ten seconds?

 

Vocabulary:

an underdog – a person who is expected to lose in a competition or contest

A Four Year-old’s Idea of Death －４歳児が持つ死のイメージ－

How do you teach a four year old about death? 

Thankfully, my four year old son has never had to see any people die.  But he nevertheless got into some kind of panic about the concept of death recently. 

The trouble started when he got confused about the connection between getting older and getting bigger. 

“When I’m five,” he asked, “Will I be as big as Mummy?” 

“No,” I answered.  “Maybe you’ll be bigger than Mummy when you are 16.” 

“And when will I be bigger than you, Daddy?” he asked.  “Will I be bigger than you when I am 100?” 

I laughed.  “No.  When you are 100, I will be dead.” 

He didn’t seem upset at the time, just a bit confused.  He had never experienced death as a problem for humans.  Perhaps the only time we had previously discussed death in front of him was when we bought poison in case we had any trouble with cockroaches. 

But a few days later, when I was about to brush his teeth, my son suddenly started sobbing uncontrollably.  “I don’t want you to die, Daddy!” he said. 

“I’m not going to die for a long time, don’t worry!” I said.  “And anyway, when I die, I’ll go to Heaven.  It will be great in Heaven.  Maybe I can meet God there, and I can ask him lots of questions.  And when you get very, very, very old, you can meet me in Heaven again!” 

By the way, as I see it, there are no cockroaches in Heaven.  They go to their own afterlife, I think. 

I thought I had solved my son’s tears and panic about death.  But I think I talked about Heaven just a bit too much.  A few days later, my son started crying again.  “I want to go to Heaven now!” he said. 

No wonder people came up with religions, in order to have an easier answer to give to these sorts of questions.

 

Vocabulary:

to sob – to cry noisily, making loud gasps for air between tears

On Choosing Paths －道を選ぶことについて—

I have never been much interested in poetry.  But I downloaded an audio book of poetry recently, and enjoyed a lot of the poems. 

Here is a famous and beautiful one by Robert Frost.  The narrator can see two paths through the woods in front of him.  He has to decide which path to walk down.  He looks for a long time down one path.  But he decides to take the other path, because it looks like it has been walked on a little less. 

He wonders if he has really chosen the better path.  There isn’t much difference between them.  And he realises that he will probably never have the chance to go back and try the first path. 

In life we often have to make choices between two paths.  And we will never be able to go back and see how the other choice would have turned out.

“The Road Not Taken”, by Robert Frost:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Vocabulary:

to diverge – of a road, route, etc., to separate and go in a different direction from the original path

undergrowth – a thick growth of low plants in a wood or under trees

fair – nice, lovely

(many years) hence – (many years) from now; (many years) in the future

 

I Wonder －私は不思議に思う－

1

I wonder how cavemen cut their toenails?  Can you imagine how difficult it would be without using scissors? 

I think cavemen would have bitten their fingernails to keep them short.  But you can’t bite your own toenails.  Maybe, if you were a caveman, you would have to ask someone else to bite them for you. 

“Mummy!  My toenails are getting long.  I can’t walk!” 

“Can’t you wait a little longer?  I hate biting your toenails.  Your feet smell so bad!” 

“Mummy, how can you say that?  I had a bath only three months ago.”

 

2

I wonder who drank cow’s milk for the very first time? 

Just what was he trying to do?  And what did his fellow tribesmen think when they saw him doing it?

 

I Interview a Man who Owns a Moon －僕は衛星所有者にインタビューする－

I recently travelled to the future, to interview a successful entrepreneur for the magazine High-flier.  The entrepreneur Sir Muster will be very successful in 50 years, and he kindly loaned me his company’s time machine to allow me to do the interview.  I have printed a part of it below. 

* 

This week High-flier News had the opportunity for an exclusive interview with Sir Muster, the Solar System’s superstar entrepreneur, XYZ Group founder, multi trillionaire, moon owner, philanthropist and adventurer. This man needs no further introduction from us. You have probably already read one of his best-selling books, such as, “If It Ain’t Broke, Break It.”  But even if not, you’ve definitely heard about some of his latest ventures, such as XYZ Time Travel. 

Our reporter William Lang joined him for a cup of coffee and an exclusive chat.

WL: It feels like Santa has come early.  I’m here with XYZ founder, Sir Muster, and I can ask him anything I want.  So, Sir Muster, have I been pronouncing your group correctly?  Is it “Ziz,” or “Ecksiz?” 

SM: You choose. 

WL: Okay, great.  It’s like, we can all choose.  I mean, Ziz or Ecksiz: either would be okay.  I think that’s so clever.

So, I want to get one of your kind of catch-phrases out of the way first.  You have caused a certain amount of controversy by adopting the slogan for your group, “Be evil.”  Do you believe that people are born evil, or is this something that we have to work at or can be kind of like taught? 

SM: Everyone is born at least a little evil, and everyone has the potential to develop their capacity for evil. It’s just that not everybody gets the opportunity. I believe that evil has a positive impact on all of our lives if done well, and it has the power to change humanity for the better. Over the years at XYZ we have found ways to tap into and develop man’s natural capacity for evil. 

This is why we have partnered with Pyongyang Business School and the Tranquility School of Economics to provide over £40 billion for thousands of aspiring evil-doers across Earth and Luna, whilst providing expert guidance on everything from building better nuclear weapons to off-planet tax havens. 

I’ve always been passionate about supporting evil; it is the lifeblood of creativity. 

WL: It’s so nice when someone gives back to their fans.  I know that there are so many out there who are inspired by you.  It’s so rare these days that someone would, you know, make the time to give back to the community.  By the way, I think your outfit is terrific. 

SM: Thanks.  I’m dressed as Mothra from the classic Godzilla series.  I find it reminds the XYZ staff of where we are trying to get to, and keeps them on their toes.  The death ray is functional, but it’s more of an ornamental thing than a practical consideration.

* 

You’ll have to wait 50 years to read the full interview in High-flier magazine.

 

Vocabulary:

an entrepreneur – someone who starts new companies or businesses

a philanthropist – someone who donates a lot of money to good causes, to help humanity

a capacity for something – the maximum amount that something can be done, stored, etc.

to tap into something – to make use of something, exploit something

a tax haven – a place, often where companies make their headquarters, where taxes are very low

to keep someone on their toes – to keep someone feeling nervous or uncomfortable