Thursday, 11 January 2018

How to pass the snowflake test -雪の結晶テストにパスする方法-


This may be a story about a company CEO who has a silly attitude towards hiring new employees.  Or it may just be a story about clever marketing.
The CEO of an American marketing company became famous recently for using a “snowflake test” when hiring new staff members.  He said that the test was designed to weed out unsuitable candidates.
The word “snowflake” is sometimes used to criticise the young generation today: it suggests that they feel that they are unique and delicate like a snowflake, and melt easily.  In other words, people who behave like snowflakes are narcissistic and weak.
I wonder if the American CEO who devised the test really believes that the young are becoming snowflakes?  I don’t trust the CEOs of marketing companies.  Maybe, a little bit like Donald Trump, he says controversial things to create media attention for himself.  Even if the media attention is largely negative, at least he has made himself and his company famous.
Let’s take a look at some of the questions from the test.  There are 30 questions in all.  I’ll pick out a few questions, guess why the CEO chose to ask it, and give some advice on an answer you could give to pass the test.

Question:  How many sick days should be given to employees?
Why:  If you give a high number, then you are a snowflake and weak!
Answer:  What is a sick day?  I have never heard of it.

Question:  How do you feel about guns?
Why?:  People who don’t like guns are snowflakes and weak!
Answer:  Can I take a look at your gun?  Wow, how cool!

Question:  When was the last time you cried and why?
Why?:  People who cry are snowflakes and weak!
Answer:  The only time I cried was when the police took away my machine-gun.

Question:  What’s your favourite drink when you go to a coffee house?
Why?  People who drink soy-lattes are snowflakes and weak!
Answer:  I drink a double espresso with a topping of Tabasco sauce.

Question:  How do you handle bullies?
Why?  People worried about bullies are snowflakes and weak!
Answer:  People don’t bully me.  They see my gun and smell my Tabasco-coffee breath, and they know that I’m too tough to handle.

Congratulations!  You have passed the snowflake test.  Now go and market products like an all-American hero!

Vocabulary:
a CEO – a chief executive officer; the highest ranking person in a company or organisation
to hire someone – to start to employ someone
to weed something out – to pick out and remove something unwanted
to melt – of something frozen such as ice, to become liquid or watery because of high temperature
narcissistic – tending to love oneself too much; having a very high opinion of oneself
to devise something – to think of and create something

 

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