When the nuclear bombs fall like raindrops;
or when the comet strikes and giant waves are thrown up all around the world;
or when the Martian invaders shoot fire from their tripods – you will probably
die. 99.99 per cent of people will
probably die as human civilization falls.
That’s because you, and they, are unprepared.
Not me.
I have bought a house in the Swiss Alps, away from the lowlands which
would be flooded by inrushing seas after a comet strike, and far from the
deserts the Martians would try to conquer.
I have also built a shelter underground which is strong enough to
survive a nuclear war. So as you and the
rest of the world perish in the disaster, I will be sitting comfortably in my
little underground room, sipping a cup of coffee. That’s because I am prepared.
*
“Apartment block owners are required to
construct and fit out shelters in all new dwellings.”
Article 46 of the Swiss law on civil
protection
I read an interesting article this week
about Switzerland and how they prepare for disasters. Switzerland is the only country in the world
which has built enough underground shelters to house all of its citizens
underground for a short time in the event of a cloud of nuclear radiation
passing over the country. All new
apartment blocks which are built have to be built with an underground shelter,
or else the builder has to pay a huge penalty.
But the article was actually about
coffee. There’s no point in everyone in
the country running underground without supplies. So the government stockpiles various foods
and items considered necessary for survival.
One of the items stockpiled is coffee.
The Swiss government always keeps enough coffee to supply the nation for
three months in the event of a sudden disaster.
The government is now considering taking coffee off the list of items
which are stockpiled, and a final decision will be taken in November.
Isn’t it amazing the lengths which
Switzerland has gone to prepare for disasters?
Giving every citizen a space in an underground shelter is amazing,
stockpiling enough food to survive for three months underground is
fantastic! But do they really need
coffee? What else have they
stockpiled? Do they have paper napkins in
case the nuclear explosions cause someone to spill his drink? Do they have cuckoo clocks in each shelter in
case survivors of a comet strike want to count the hours cheerfully until the
flood waters recede? Do they have little
cocktail umbrellas in case the survivors of the Martian invasion want to invite
the enemy to a party and make friends?
*
I have nearly finished preparing my shelter
for the end of the world. I have
stockpiled pizza bases, tomato sauce, anchovies, garlic, an espresso machine and
several pairs of comfy slippers. Have I
forgotten anything?
Vocabulary:
a comet – a large ball of ice and dust
which moves through space
Martian – from or of the planet Mars, the
fourth planet
a tripod – a three legged stand for
supporting something such as a camera – in the book, “War of the Worlds”, the
Martians attacked human cities from huge tripods
to be flooded – for land or buildings to be
covered in large amounts of water
to perish – to die
to fit something out – to equip or supply
something
a dwelling – a place where people live
supplies – items prepared for later use
to stockpile something – to collect and
store extra supplies or stock
to recede – to go back
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