I Want to Run, But There’s Nowhere to Go －逃げたくたって、どこにも行き場なんてないんだ－

He and I used to be inseparable, the best of friends. But we have had a falling out. 

I lived for many years with few friends – with no friends but him, really.  I would stand by the window in my flat late at night, with the moonlight spilling in through the glass.  And I would wish I had a woman to keep me company.  I used to turn around and tell him of my hopes and my dreams.  And he just lay there on the floor, his feet stretched towards me, and he listened.  He was a great listener in those days. 

Then one day it happened.  I found Bethany.  She sat next to me at the counter in a dark little bar playing old Fifties and Sixties records.  We bonded over the old instrumental track, “Apache.”  What a great tune! 

I met Bethany at that bar every Friday for several weeks.  We talked about music, and books, and about our hopes and dreams.  One night after that I found myself in Bethany’s apartment.  From her stereo, the Four Tops were singing, “I’m getting ready for the heartaches to come, Can’t you see me standing in the shadows of love?”  The lights had been turned out, and we danced.  It was beautiful. 

I didn’t see my friend in those first, beautiful days spent with Bethany.  I’ll admit it – I didn’t think of him at all.  I didn’t stand before him in the moonlight and talk to him in my lonely room, as I once had.  And he must have gotten extremely jealous. 

He has started following Bethany and I everywhere.  I took Bethany to a modern art gallery, to stare at the brightly lit paintings on display.  And he emerged from a crowd of people, following us round the gallery.  I took Bethany to the beach on a sunny afternoon, and he appeared again.  I looked around and he was suddenly there, lying on the sand behind me. 

Bethany is too nice a girl to say anything directly about him.  But I know she is concerned.  Whenever I glance around and jump when I see him close by, she asks me what is wrong. 

If anyone reading this can help me, please get in touch.  I’m at my wit’s end.  Hasn’t anyone ever had the same problem?  How can I escape from my shadow, my jealous shadow who follows me around everywhere I go?

 

Vocabulary:

Inseparable – very strongly connected together; unable to be pulled apart

to have a falling out – of friends, lovers etc., to have a fight or disagreement which leaves the relationship in a bad state

to bond – to form a strong connection

to be at your wit’s end – to be desperate; to be in a very bad mental state