This is what happens to bad students (Pinocchio in Toyland)

This week I finished reading The Adventures of Pinocchio for the first time.  It was written by Carlo Coloddi and published in Italian in 1883.

It concerns the wooden marionette, Pinocchio, who is a very bad son to his poor father, Geppetto.  It contains many cautionary tales about the bad things that will happen to bad boys.

I hope that you are all studying English hard.  Because the story also contains a moral for those who neglect their studies.  The copyright for this work has expired, so I hope that Carlo Colloddi won’t mind if I summarise Pinocchio’s misadventure when he neglects his studies to go to Toyland...

 

An episode from “The Adventures of Pinocchio”,: Toyland

"Why don't you come to Toyland with me?" Lampwick said. "Nobody ever studies there and you can play all day long!"

"Does such a place really exist?" asked Pinocchio in amazement.

"The wagon comes by this evening to take me there," said Lampwick. "Would you like to come?"

Forgetting all his promises to his father and the fairy, Pinocchio was again heading for trouble. Midnight struck, and the wagon arrived to pick up the two friends, along with some other lads who could hardly wait to reach a place where schoolbooks and teachers had never been heard of. Twelve pairs of donkeys pulled the wagon. The boys clambered into the wagon. Pinocchio, the most excited of them all, jumped on to a donkey. Toyland, here we come!

Now Toyland was just as Lampwick had described it: the boys all had great fun and there were no lessons. You weren't even allowed to whisper the word "school", and Pinocchio could hardly believe he was able to play all the time.

"This is the life!" he said each time he met Lampwick.

"I was right, wasn't I?" exclaimed his friend, pleased with himself.

"Oh, yes Lampwick! Thanks to you I'm enjoying myself. And just think: teacher told me to keep well away from you."

One day, however, Pinocchio awoke to a nasty surprise. When he raised a hand to his head, he found he had sprouted a long pair of hairy ears, in place of the simple ears that Geppetto had never got round to finishing. And that wasn't all! The next day, they had grown longer than ever. Pinocchio shamefully pulled on a large cotton cap and went off to search for Lampwick. He too was wearing a hat, pulled right down to his nose. With the same thought in their heads, the boys stared at each other, then snatching off their hats, they began to laugh at the funny sight of long hairy ears. But as they screamed with laughter, Lampwick suddenly went pale and stumbled. "Pinocchio, help! Help!" But Pinocchio himself was stumbling about and he burst into tears. For their faces were growing into the shape of a donkey's head and they felt themselves go down on all fours. Pinocchio and Lampwick were turning into a pair of donkeys. And when they tried to groan with fear, they brayed loudly instead. When the Toyland wagon driver heard the braying of his new donkeys, he rubbed his hands in glee.

 

Vocabulary:

a misadventure – An adventure that goes wrong; a bad experience.

to neglect something – Not to do something that you should.

a lad – A boy

to clamber – To climb in a clumsy way

“This is the life” – This is an expression which people say when they are enjoying luxury.  For example, you might say it when drinking champagne and eating truffles.

nasty – Very unpleasant.

to sprout – To grow quickly.

to snatch something – To grab something; to take it very quickly with your hand.

to stumble –To nearly fall over.

to bray – This is the noise that a donkey makes.

glee – Great happiness or joy

 

There is strength in perseverance

Perseverance is an important concept in Japanese culture.  There are a number of idioms which attest to this. 

One of these is “Keizoku ha chikara nari.”  I have seen an English equivalent, “Perseverance is the key”, although I have never heard anybody say it.  A more literal translation would be “There is strength in perseverance.” 

Another idiom is “Ishi no ue nimo 3nen.”  Literally, that means “Three years on the rock.”  This means that if you do something, you should stick at it for three years.  Many Japanese employers look at a job candidate’s career history and are suspicious if someone has frequently changed jobs.  To avoid giving this impression, I guess that many Japanese employees stick at jobs they don’t like for several years, especially if it is their first job.  Perhaps some people in Britain do that too but it is less of a stigma to change jobs.  Indeed, it might be seen positively, as a sign of ambition. 

Well, perseverance may be the key but it can also be very difficult.  I used to drink alcohol almost every night (not that much, don’t worry!)  A couple of months ago I decided to stop drinking completely on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights.  I am writing this on a Wednesday, and I can’t wait for Thursday to come around.  There is a glass of sho-chu calling my name... 

Anyway, the point I’d like to make is that it is important to be realistic.  If I had set myself the target of cutting out all alcohol from Monday to Friday, I suspect I would have failed after three weeks.  If you want to lose weight, why not stop eating snacks for three days a week?  Too many people try to make a radical change, perhaps cutting out snacks altogether.  Then it is all too easy to fail after a few weeks and put all the weight you initially lost back on. 

Try a small improvement.  And stick at it for three years.  There is strength in perseverance, or so I have heard.

 

Vocabulary:

perseverance – The habit of continuing to do something even if there is a temptation to quit.

concept – Idea; thought.

to attest to something – To give proof or evidence of something.

equivalent – A similar example in another setting.

literal – Word for word.

to stick at something – To keep doing something; to persevere at something.

a stigma – A black mark against someone’s name.

radical – Extreme; involving a big change.

The Finger-reader

There are a lot of gadgets available for people with a visual impairment.  I am writing this on my laptop, using screen-reader software called ”Jaws”.  If on Microsoft Word I press the space bar, the software will say, “Space,” in an artificial voice.

There is a new kind of technology which is being developed now by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) which could be similarly useful in the future.  It also has a similar name.  It is not a screen-reader but a “finger-reader”. 

Apparently, it uses a camera mounted on a ring.  You put this ring over your index finger and you point the camera at any text you want to read.  The device will then scan this and read the text aloud using an artificial voice. 

It sounds like this would be very difficult to use.  If you cannot see the text you are trying to read, how do you know where to point the camera?  Well, according to MIT, the device scans the line of text and determines the direction that it should be read.  If the user’s finger strays away from the correct line, then the device vibrates to let him know. 

I like to think that this is only the beginning.  One day I want a camera in my hat.  It will look at everything in front of me and give me helpful advice.  For example, it will say “Cute girl!” or “Scary guy!” into an earpiece.

Sadly, for the time being I’ll have to wait and see how expensive this finger-reader is...

  

Vocabulary:

 

a gadget – A kind of useful technology, especially electronic.  A smart-phone or remote control are gadgets.

 

a visual impairment – A problem with your sight.  This includes people who are blind, like me, and people who have weak eyesight.

artificial – Man-made; not natural.

to be mounted – To be placed on top of something.  For example, the rider was mounted on a beautiful horse.

index finger – The finger next to your thumb.  People use this finger to point at things.

to stray – To go off course.

to vibrate – To shake very quickly.  A mobile phone on silent mode usually vibrates if someone calls you.

 

 

The Scottish independence debate is heating up

I wrote a post a few weeks ago about the possibility of Scotland becoming an independent country.  On 18^th September, the people of Scotland will vote Yes or No to this question: Should Scotland be an independent country?  Asking the country’s voters to decide a yes or no question is called a referendum.  The side which wants independence for Scotland is called the Yes Campaign.  The side which wants to stay with the U.K. is called the Better together Campaign.  With only about three weeks until the referendum, the debate is heating up... 

This week the politicians who head the opposing camps held a live tv debate.  The Yes Campaign is headed by Alex Salmond.  The Better Together Campaign is headed by Alistair Darling.

What do you imagine the issues they talked about were?  If you had to decide whether your area would break away from a larger country or not, what questions would you have?

Well, one of the main debating points was currency.  Scotland and the rest of the U.K. use the pound (Pounds Sterling).  The Better Together Campaign claims that Scotland may not be able to use the pound after independence.  The Yes Campaign has always claimed that nobody could stop Scotland from using the pound. 
 

This has been a successful strategy for the Better Together Campaign until now.  But during the debate, Mr. Darling seemed to admit that nobody could stop Scotland from using the pound as its currency.

Mr. Salmond attacked Mr. Darling on welfare.  The U.K. government recently cut welfare benefits for disabled people.  The current U.K. government is led by the Conservative Party.  That party, which is still associated with Margaret Thatcher, is generally very unpopular in Scotland.  Mr. Salmond suggested that if Scotland does not become independent, we may have to suffer for many years.  Because Scotland’s population is much smaller than England’s, even if a U.K. party is very unpopular in Scotland, Scottish voters find it difficult to change the government.

The two politicians also argued over how much oil money Scotland could receive and whether an independent Scotland could really get rid of the U.K.’s nuclear weapons, which are based in Scotland.

According to the BBC report, Mr. Salmond appeared confident and well-prepared.  Mr. Darling appeared “nervous and edgy”.  Opinion polls showed that 71% of people thought that Mr. Salmond won the debate.  The Yes Campaign has been getting closer to the Better Together Campaign in opinion polls recently.  This tv debate may help this trend to continue.

Vocabulary:

to head something  - To lead something or to be a leader of something

opposing camps – Two sides or groups working against each other

to admit something – To accept that something is true, even though accepting it may be bad for you.

welfare – Financial help from the government to weak citizens, for example the poor or unemployed or disabled.

to be associated with something or someone – To be connected to something or someone in people’s minds.

to be edgy – To be uncomfortable or to be frightened and lack confidence.

an opinion poll – Before an election or vote, many people are asked how they will vote.  The results are added up to make a prediction of the election result.  That is an opinion poll.

 

Gie’s a brek!

Can you identify the language used in the title of this article? 

Anyone from my hometown will recognise it immediately, but many native speakers of English would struggle to understand what the sentence means or even to identify it as a variant of English.

It is Scottish English, more specifically from Glasgow or the surrounding area.  “Gie’s a brek”, translated into standard English means, “Give me a break”.

My Japanese wife went to Glasgow to study English and when she got there, she wondered why so many people were speaking German.  It’s not German.  We just have a strong accent and a strong local identity, with many idioms or expressions which are not used in the rest of the English speaking world.

I guess I had a similar experience.  When I first came to Japan I lived in Osaka.  I wondered why I couldn’t find many of the expressions and words I heard around me in my Japanese textbook.  “Maido, Okini!” 

Perhaps it would not be useful for most of my students to closely study Glaswegian English unless they intend to go to Glasgow.  But it might be fun anyway to try to guess the meanings of some phrases.  So I will write some below.  See if you can guess any correctly and let me know how you get on:

 

Gonnae no dae that!

Will you please not do that!

 

Ah’m aff tae buy a bunnet.

I’m off to buy a hat.

 

Where’s the burds?

Where are the women/chicks?

 

Ah cannae dae it.

I can’t do it.

Y’aw right, hen?  How’s it gaw’n?

Are you all right, dear?  How are you?

He’s a Weejie.

He’s a Glaswegian.

 

Daydreaming about a desert island

As I am writing this, I am on holiday.  No work, no students.  I should be lying by the swimming pool with a pina colada in hand.  But instead here I am sitting in front of my laptop writing my blog.  That’s dedication for you.

But since I am not supposed to be working, I will choose a topic which is fun to write about.  I hope you will indulge me. 

There is a radio show in Britain which has been running on the BBC since 1942 called “Desert Island Discs”.  A desert island is a tropical island which is uninhabited.  On this show, an interviewer talks to a famous person and they imagine that they will be sent to live on this desert island alone. 

The famous person then gets to pick eight songs to take with them, as well as one book of their choice and one luxury item.  The luxury item cannot be anything useful in helping them escape or contact the outside world.  It is just something that is fun and can be used to pass the time.  Guests often pick a piano or a comfortable bed, for example. 

I can’t remember who said it but I heard someone say that Americans often fantasise about winning an Oscar.  They imagine that they were famous and are giving a speech thanking everyone for winning the award.  In Britain people fantasise about being on Desert Island Discs. 

So, I am going to have a go too.  I don’t want to bore you with a long list of songs, so I will pick just four; two Western and two Japanese.  When I get back to work next week, I would be interested to hear my students’ selections too.

 

Western Songs:

Paul McCartney – Rinse the raindrops

George Gerschwin – Rhapsody in blue

 

Japanese songs:

Imawano Kiyoshiro – Morning call wo yoroshiku

R.C. Succession – ii koto bakari ha arya shine

 

Book:

Henri Charriere – Papillon

 

Luxury item:

A lifetime’s supply of sho-chu with ice.

 

Now, where did I put that pina colada?

 

 

Vocabulary:

Dedication – Commitment; effort put in to do something you think is important.

To indulge someone – To allow someone to continue without complaining even though they are perhaps doing something wrong.  For example, my daughter shouldn’t eat so many sweets but I indulged her because it was her birthday.

Uninhabited – Nobody lives there.

To fantasise – To imagine that something is true.  For example, many people fantasise about winning the lottery and imagine spending the money they would win.

An Oscar – An Academy Award, an award given to actors and actresses and others connected to successful films.

 

 

 

Simple food for summer

Today (Wednesday 6^th August) was ridiculously hot in Tokyo.  This is not weather for humans.  This is weather for lizards. 

One of my students told me that before she came to my flat in Nerima to take an English lesson, she found a woman in the train station toilets who had collapsed because of heat exhaustion.  She was waiting to be taken away by ambulance.  If you are in Japan over the summer, take care and remember to take lots of fluid. 

A few weeks ago I promised to write down a recipe.  I am not sure that the type of food I cook will be popular amongst many of my students.  It is very simple.  I decided to stop eating meat at home, although I still cook fish.  I don’t add any salt, sake or soy sauce when cooking, although I often use lemon juice, yuzu or salsa dressing to flavour food. 

But maybe such simple food is particularly suited to summer.  If it is very hot it is nice to eat fresh-tasting dishes, which are not thick or covered in sauce. 

So I will give a brief recipe for a very simple dish below, and hope that at least one person tries it and can tell me how they enjoyed it.  This will serve two people: 

Buy two packs of natto (fermented soy beans).  Buy one cucumber, a pack of mizuma (a leafy vegetable; lettuce would also be okay).  Buy a carrot, some baby tomatoes, some salsa sauce (this is a Mexican sauce which is red and is a little spicy; you can find it in some Japanese supermarkets).  Buy a bag of Doritos (I think that is a brand name but basically it is a kind of Mexican snack made from corn).  Cook some white rice as well. 

First, let’s make the salad.  After washing the vegetables, cut the mizuna into small pieces and put it in a bowl.  Then grate one carrot and add this to the bowl.  I recommend using organic carrots.  I can’t taste the difference between some organic vegetables and cheap supermarket ones but I can really taste the difference with carrots. 

Anyway, next cut the baby tomatoes into quarters and add them to the salad.  Then add in the salsa sauce.  Add as much as you like.  I usually add about five tablespoons of salsa. 

Now let’s make the curry.  This is very different from a typical Japanese curry.  This will be a soup curry which we will pour on top of the rice and natto, a little bit like ocha-zuke.  It’s also really, really easy. The salad will be a little spicy so I don’t use much curry rue.  Put two pieces of the rue into a pot.  Now boil the kettle and pour in some hot water.  I don’t use a measuring cup but I guess about three cups of hot water will be enough.  Next, chop the cucumber into small cubes and add this to the curry.  Mix the rue until it has melted. 

Put some cooked rice into two bowls and add one pack of natto to the top of each.  Now pour the soup curry on top of each.  Eat it with a spoon. 

Finally, add the Doritos to the salad.  You have to add it at the end because otherwise it will become soggy.  Divide it into two and it is ready to eat.

 Enjoy!

 

Vocabulary:

Ridiculously hot – Crazily hot.

A lizard – A kind of animal.  It has cold blood.

Heat exhaustion – If you stay in a hot place for a long time and become ill, then you are probably suffering from heat exhaustion.

Fluid – Liquid.  Water is a fluid.

To be suited to something – To match something; to go well with something.

Organic – If something is organic then it is grown without using many chemicals.  It is grown using a more natural method.

Typical – Ordinary or usual.

To melt – To become a liquid.  If ice becomes hot, then it melts into water.

Soggy – If something hard becomes soft when it is wet, then we can say it is soggy.