What Do You Want for a Needle in the Arm? －腕に針を刺す代わりに、何が欲しい？－

I am scheduled to get my first coronavirus vaccine next week. 

I warned one of my students, who had booked a lesson for the day after, that there was a small chance that I would feel unwell and have to cancel the lesson. 

My student sounded concerned.  “Teacher, I wouldn’t take the vaccine yet.  I am going to wait until more people have had it before deciding whether or not to take it.” 

Listening to the news this morning, I heard that Pfizer is projected to make a profit of 26 billion Dollars this year from selling their vaccine.  The report said that they have already delivered hundreds of millions of doses.  If hundreds of millions of people have taken it before me, that’s a big enough number to give me confidence! 

But some people need more incentive to take the vaccine.  Different countries and regions have been offering special prizes to encourage people to get jabbed.  This has been an especially popular method in America.  Here are some examples: 

The state of New Jersey offered a free beer for those who got vaccinated.  A needle in the arm for a beer belly? 

The US government partnered with online dating apps to allow vaccinated people to get premium access to dating sites.  A needle in the arm for a broken heart? 

And New York offered 20 Dollars worth of lottery scratch cards to those who got jabbed.  A needle in the arm for a gambling addiction? 

Some of these incentives don’t sound very healthy.  I hope before next week, Japan starts offering healthier incentives to get vaccinated.  A needle in the arm for sushi?  A needle in the arm for karaoke?

 

Vocabulary:

an incentive to do something – a thing that motivates or encourages someone to do something

to get jabbed – (casual) to receive an injection

a beer belly – to be fat from drinking too much beer

 

I Do Love to Be Beside the Seaside －海辺にいるのが好きだ－

“Daddy, Daddy!  It’s the sea!  It’s the sea!” 

During the short gap between two states of emergency in Tokyo, my family and I booked a two night stay in a hotel in Kamakura.  We were on the train out of Tokyo, and my four year old son was delighted to have seen the sea from the carriage window. 

My wife glanced out of the window.  “That’s not the sea.  That’s a river.,” she said. 

My son had never seen the sea before, and had gotten a little confused. 

“Rivers are much smaller than the sea,” I said.  “They are like long snakes, carrying water from the mountains down to a lower level.  The sea is like a huge bath tub.” 

“Like a bath tub even bigger than our house?” my son asked. 

Eventually we did make it to the seaside, and my son was suitably impressed.  He stood at the water’s edge, and ran screaming backwards as the waves crashed onto land.  He went searching for life, and proudly brought me samples of wakame seaweed, shells, and a starfish. 

It was even more exciting than our bath tub at home.

 

Vocabulary:

a carriage – on a train, one section like a room, which usually has a door at one or both ends, connecting it to other sections of the train (Example: I’ll meet you on the platform.  I will get off at the first door on the third carriage.)

to glance somewhere – to look somewhere quickly or briefly

 

English Cooking and Elephants －イギリス料理と象－

English people don’t cook elephants.  At least I have never seen it.  I have been reading a book of essays by George Orwell recently.  In the book, he writes about many different topics, including English cooking, and the time he shot an elephant. 

Orwell is most famous for writing the books “Animal Farm,” and “1984.”  He was born in 1902 and lived a fascinating life.  He was educated at Britain’s most elite school, Eton.  But he spent some time homeless as he struggled to sell his writing.  He worked for a while as an administrator in the British Empire in Burma, before coming to hate the Empire.  He volunteered and fought in the Spanish Civil War where he was shot in the throat by a fascist. 

Here are a few quotes about English cooking, and elephants, from the essays I have read so far. 

1

“It is commonly said, even by the English themselves, that English cooking is the worst in the world.  [But] there is a whole host of delicacies which it is quite impossible to obtain [elsewhere].” 

Orwell recommended many great British foods, such as kippers (smoked fish), Yorkshire pudding (a baked egg and flour pudding, served with gravy), and boiled potatoes served with mint and melted butter, among many other dishes. 

2

“As for the job I was doing [as a police officer in British controlled Burma], I hated it more bitterly than I can perhaps make clear.

…

Early one morning, the sub-inspector of the police station at the other end of town rang me up on the phone and said that an elephant was ravaging the bazaar.  Would I please come and do something about it? 

…

The Burmese population were without weapons and were quite helpless against [the elephant.]

…

As I started forward [with my rifle], practically the whole population of the [area] flocked out of the houses and followed me.  They had seen the rifle and were all shouting excitedly that I was going to shoot the elephant.”

 

Orwell felt that the elephant had calmed down, and he didn’t want to shoot it.  But a crowd of local people had gathered, expecting to see the white man shoot the elephant.  Orwell felt powerless to go against the crowd’s wishes, and so shot the elephant.  He says that the incident made him realise how foolish it was to think that Britain could really control its empire.  Although he was the only one with a gun, he had to follow the wishes of the crowd, to avoid being laughed at.

 

Vocabulary:

an administrator – a person who helps to manage an organisation, do the correct paperwork, etc.

the throat – the part of the body at the front of the neck, important for breathing, swallowing food, etc.

a whole host of – a huge number of, like a gathering army

a delicacy – a rare or special food

to obtain something – to get something

to hate something bitterly – to hate something with strong feeling

to ravage something – to do terrible damage to something with violent force

a bazaar – a large market, especially in the Middle East

to flock  - to gather together in large numbers, like a group of birds

Pandas and People －パンダと人－

I read in today’s news that a giant panda called Shin Shin, who is housed at Ueno Zoo with a male panda, has given birth to twins.  The news article said that the share price of restaurants near Ueno Zoo surged.  This was in anticipation of a huge increase in the number of visitors to the Tokyo zoo. 

People seem to get really excited about pandas.  The Japanese language even has an expression which encapsulates this panda popularity.  “Hito yose panda,” literally means, “A panda to draw the crowds.”  You might describe a television celebrity, who suddenly decides to become a politician as a “Hito yose panda.”  They don’t actually have to have any skill or knowledge.  Their fame alone will draw attention to the party. 

I think Boris Johnson, the British Prime Minister, might be a panda to draw the crowds.  I can imagine him doing nothing all day but munching on food, and occasionally rousing himself to try to make babies.

 

Vocabulary:

to surge – of waves, prices, etc. to suddenly move upwards or forwards

to do A in anticipation of B – to do A, expecting to get or find B [eg. I went to university in anticipation of finding a good job after graduating.]

to encapsulate something – to neatly sum up the essential features of something [eg. He is late again.  His lateness encapsulates his bad attitude.]

 

A Small Pond for Small Fish －小さな魚に、小さな池－

Scotland’s national sport is football – that is the sport that some countries call soccer.

We used to be really good at football, probably because we have been playing it for such a long time.  Mary, Queen of Scots (1542 – 1587) is said to have enjoyed playing an early version of football.  My own favourite team – Celtic – were once the champions of Europe. 

The trouble is, Scotland is a small country.  And once every other country in the world started playing football, we became less and less successful at it.  After 23 years of trying and failing to reach a major tournament, Scotland’s men’s national team qualified for this year’s European Championship.  We had home advantage at our first game, which we nevertheless lost on Monday to the Czech Republic.  So it is more melancholy for us. 

100 years ago Scotland was a big fish in a little footballing pond.  As the popularity of football has grown around the world, we now find ourselves to be a little fish in a huge ocean.  So I would like to suggest that Scotland stops trying to do well at football, and finds a less popular sport.  If our country of 5 million people put all of its effort into producing competitive trampolinists, we could be confident of being the best in the world.  A trampolinist in a well knows nothing of the wide ocean (as long as he doesn’t jump all the way to the top of the well). 

I think this is true, not just for countries, but for individuals.  Why learn the piano?  You will have to compete against millions of pianists for attention.  Wouldn’t it be better to be the best bongo player in Tokyo?

 

Vocabulary/ notes:

to have home advantage – in a sporting contest, to host the match at your own local ground

melancholy – a persistently gloomy state of mind; a feeling of being down or depressed

“A trampolinist in a well…” – A well is a hole dug into the ground to find drinking water, which can be pulled up with a bucket.  this is based upon the Japanese proverb, “A frog in a well knows nothing of the great ocean.”

 

I Always Knew Osaka was Great －やっぱり大阪はめっちゃええ－

Congratulations, Osaka!  You win the silver medal in the category of “World’s Most Liveable City”.

There is a yearly ranking of the world’s cities by a group called the Economist Intelligence Unit.  The group considers a number of factors, such as how stable life in the city is, how well developed its infrastructure is, how good its healthcare provision is, and how well it educates its citizens.  Then it compares 143 major cities around the world, and ranks them from 1st to 143rd.  In the 2021 list, Osaka came 2nd, and Tokyo came 5th.  The overall winner was Auckland in New Zealand.  Adelaide (Australia) came third, and Wellington (New Zealand) came fourth.

The EIU, who made the list, said that the coronavirus pandemic affected this year’s results.  Many European cities fell down the list because their health systems suffered greater problems than cities in New Zealand, Australia and Japan.

But are the EIU using the correct criteria to judge cities?  How would the different cities rank according to these factors?

Best Street Food:  Bangkok and Singapore move up the list.  Osaka still does well.

Best Green Spaces and Access to Nature:  My hometown, Glasgow does well.  Sydney does well.  Osaka falls.

Best Musical Culture:  Glasgow shoots to the top of the list.  New Orleans creeps up.  Tokyo also does well.

Best Alcohol Culture and Access:  Dublin makes an entry.  Osaka and Tokyo still do well.

What would you include in the criteria for deciding the most liveable city on the planet?

Vocabulary:

to be stable – to be able to withstand shocks, changes, difficulties, etc.; not subject to too much change

infrastructure – things such as roads, water pipes, railway lines, etc., wich are useful to human societies or economies

A Vaccination Haiku －ワクチン俳句－

Vaccination chat

Washes Tokyo’s streets like

June’s opening rains

I wrote a little haiku, inspired by the constant chat I have been hearing lately about vaccines.

My acquaintances and students in their seventies are starting to get appointments. They worry about possible side-effects. “My friend couldn’t raise her arm for two days,” one of them told me. “My appointment is not until July. So I still have time to think about whether I will take it or not,” said another.

For what it is worth, I would definitely get vaccinated if I could get an appointment. I think of getting vaccinated as like putting on a seatbelt. It is uncomfortable, but it might save your life. In a tiny minority of cases, the seatbelt might even get stuck around your neck and do you harm. But the odds are very much better that it will protect you.

It is not just people of retirement age who talk about vaccinations these days. My younger students talk about helping out their parents and grandparents to book an appointment online. In an alternate universe, in which the coronavirus hadn’t jumped to humans, all the chat would be about something else – perhaps the rainy season, or planned holidays abroad.

It will be nice, once everyone has been offered a vaccination, to be able to talk about other things.

Vocabulary:

an alternate universe – a different reality from the one we are living in