Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is... －サンタさんへ、クリスマスにほしいのは・・・－

Have you ever written a letter to Santa Claus?

If you did, what would you ask for?

How about peace on Earth?

Don’t be stupid.  He has the magic ability to stop time and visit every child on Earth in a single night.  But he’s not a miracle-worker.

How about asking Santa for cash?  Or the phone number of the beautiful woman or handsome guy you saw on the train the other day?

No, no.  That won’t work either.  Santa is a strict moralist.  He only gives presents that are appropriate for a humble and deserving person.  If you asked for something inappropriate, he would put your name on the list of bad boys and girls, who don’t get any presents.

Well, are you stuck for ideas?  What is an appropriate present to ask Santa for?

Here is an idea taken from an old song.  It was written in 1944 and first performed by Spike Jones and the City Slickers.

 

- All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth ‐

　

Every body Pauses and stares at me

These two teeth are gone as you can see

I don't know just who to blame for this catastrophe!

But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas

is my two front teeth

 

Vocabulary:

the other day – a day in the recent past

a moralist – someone with a strong sense of what is right and what is wrong.

to be humble – to be modest; not proud; to have small desires.

to be stuck for ideas – to be unable to think of anything.

to blame someone – to say that something is someone’s fault.  For example, my boss blamed me for the company’s poor sales this month.

a catastrophe – a serious disaster.

to be plain – to be obvious

 

Nerima English

http://nerimaenglish.jimdo.com/

 

 

 

Don’t forget the Christmas spirit (a warning from Charles Dickens) －クリスマスの精神を忘れずに （チャールズ・ディケンズからの警告）－

This is my last blog post before Christmas, so let me wish all of my students a Merry Christmas!

Charles Dickens was an English writer and in 1843 he wrote “A Christmas Carol”.  It was a reminder to his readers not to forget that Christmas is a time for doing good in the world.  We should be charitable towards others.

So, I have edited a section from A Christmas Carol, where the greedy and seemingly heartless businessman called Scrooge is visited by the ghost of his dead partner, Marley.  Make sure you don’t forget the Christmas ¹spirit.  The Christmas ²spirit hasn’t forgotten you!

An edited scene from Charles Dicken’s “A Christmas Carol”

As Scrooge sat down, every bell in his house rang out loudly.

This might have lasted half a minute, or a minute, but it seemed an hour. The bells ceased as they had begun, together. They were followed by a clanking noise, deep down below; as if some person were dragging a heavy chain.

“It’s nonsense,” said Scrooge.  “I won’t believe it.”

His colour changed though, when, without a pause, Marley’s ghost came through the heavy door.

The chain he pulled was wound about his middle. It was long, and was made of cash-boxes, keys, etc. His body was transparent; so that Scrooge could see the door behind him.

“Who are you?” asked Scrooge.

“Ask me who I was,” replied the ghost.

“Who were you then?” said Scrooge.

“In life I was your partner, Jacob Marley”.

“Can you -- can you sit down?” asked Scrooge, looking doubtfully at him.

The ghost sat down on the opposite side of the fireplace, as if he were quite used to it.

“You don’t believe in me,” observed the ghost.

“I don’t,” said Scrooge. “A little thing can affect one’s senses. A slight disorder of the stomach makes them cheats. You may  be an undigested bit of beef, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato. There's more of  gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!”

The truth was that Scrooge tried to be smart to keep down his terror.

At this the spirit raised a frightful cry, and shook its chain.

Scrooge fell upon his knees, and clasped his hands before his face.

“Mercy!” he said. “Dreadful spirit, why do you trouble me?”

“It is required of every man,” the Ghost returned, “that the spirit within him should walk among his fellow men, and travel far and wide; and if that spirit doesn’t do that in life, it is condemned to do so after death.”

“I wear the chain I made in life,” said the ghost. “And I have come to warn you before it is too late.”

Scrooge trembled more and more.

“Do you want to know the length of the chain you are making for yourself?” asked the ghost... 

Vocabulary:

¹spirit – Feeling.

²a spirit – A ghost.

to be charitable – To be generous; to donate money.

to cease – To stop.

clanking – Noise like metal hitting against something.

to drag something – To pull something heavy.

to be wound around something – To be put many times around something, often to loosely attach it.

to be transparent – If something is transparent, it can be seen through.  For example, glass is usually transparent.

a disorder – A problem; a malfunction.

to be undigested – Not absorbed by the body.  The stomach digests food after it is eaten.

a crumb – A very small piece, especially of food like bread or biscuits.

a fragment – A small piece.  For example, after the glass smashed there were many small fragments.

to be underdone – Not cooked enough.

terror – Great fear

to clasp something – To hold something tightly

mercy – Being kind or showing forgiveness to someone you could harm.

to be dreadful – To be terrible.

to be condemned – To be given a punishment.  For example, the murderer was condemned to death.

to tremble – For your body to shake, perhaps with fear or cold.

 

 

Dreaming in tartan about Dumbarton (is not good for you)

This week’s blog is about a recent song by a Scottish band called Dumb Instrument.  The article title is from a line of the song, “Suffering from Scottishness”.  Dumbarton is a small town near Glasgow.

The song mentions a number of stereotypical images of Scotland, including shortbread, which in the U.K. can sometimes also be called shortcake, and tartan.

The song makes fun of Scottish people’s image of themselves.  We are a small country compared to our neighbour, England, and we often feel small as a nation and lack confidence, like the character in this song: “I think I've failed when I'm only starting”.  There is also a stereotyped image that Scots drink too much alcohol and that this can lead to violent behaviour.  (That’s not a fair image, I hope!)

The song is a kind of short story.  The main character is Scottish and it begins in a taxi in Brighton, a town in England.

The main character complains to the English taxi-driver that he is depressed because he is Scottish.  He is embarrassed by stereotypical Scottish imagery like shortbread and tartan.  He is also unhappy about the Scottish national character, which he has too.  He remembers looking at himself in the mirror and realising how unhappy he was with his Scottishness.

The taxi-driver takes pity on him and tries to cheer him up by stopping the taxi and taking him for a drink in a nearby pub.  Unfortunately, the main character has too much to drink and gets violent, hitting the taxi-driver with his beer glass.  Then the taxi-driver is also suffering from Scottishness.

Here are the lyrics.  I have edited it a little to make it easier to understand.  Note that “gless” is just “glass” spoken with a Scottish accent. 

Suffering from Scottishness by Dumb Instrument

It was windy,
Trees were {bending}.
I was staring at my knee.

I was in Brighton, in a taxi.
{The} taxi driver says to me,
"What's wrong pal you look depressed?"
I said, "I'm suffering from Scottishness:

 

Oh for Christ sake!
I like shortcake,
And if I'm happy it feels fake.
I dream in tartan about Dumbarton.
I think I've failed when I'm only starting.
Oh yes, I must confess,
That I'm suffering from Scottishness.

There was one day {that} felt like something
In the toilet of a bar.
Then the {guy} , in the mirror
He says, ‘Who do you think you are?
You're nothing, you're just a mess.
You're an advert for Scottishness’."

 

{The} taxi driver he stopped the cab.
He marched me straight to the nearest pub.
His arm around me, he did his best
To make me see how my life was blessed.
So I {hit} him with my gless.
Now he's suffering from Scottishness.

 

 

Vocabulary:

to Suffer – To feel bad; to feel pain.

a stereotype (adjective: stereotypical) – A common image of something which is often too simple and inaccurate.

shortbread – A sweet biscuit from Scotland made with butter.

tartan – A multi-coloured pattern found on traditional Scottish clothing.

to be depressed – To be very unhappy.

to take pity on someone – To feel sorry for someone; to do something to help because you feel bad for someone.

to cheer someone up – To make someone feel happier.

to bend – To change shape and become curved.

to stare – To look fixedly.

pal – Friend.  In the U.K. it is okay to call a stranger “Pal” in a casual setting (if they are men).

“For Christ’s sake!” – This is an expression used to show exasperation, annoyance etc.

to confess – To admit something.

a cab – A taxi.

to march someone somewhere – To force someone to go somewhere.  For example, the policeman marched him to the police station.

to be blessed – To be in a happy situation; to be lucky or favoured by God.

 

Making a verbal map

This, or something similar, has happened to me a number of times.  I am walking across the road, or along a train platform and someone will shout to me, “Abunai!” (It’s dangerous!)  Then I think, “Well, what’s dangerous?  Is it dangerous in front of me?  Behind me?  To the side?  Should I stop?  Speed up, perhaps?” 

I will then stop and say, “Doko ga abunai?” (Where is the danger?)  Then the reply will come, “Asoko!” (Over there!)

Needless to say, this kind of vague direction will only confuse the situation.

So how do blind people make best use of directions?  Well, someone I know works for a volunteer group which makes “verbal maps”, or directions for the blind or visually impaired.  If a blind person wants to go from, say, Takadanobaba Station to the Nihon Tenji Toshokan (Japan Braille Library), they can access an application which will give directions from the station to the library, which is a short walk away.

The important thing is to give concrete directions from point to point, A to B, B to C, C to D etc.

For example, for a sighted person, these directions might be sufficient:  Exit the train station.  You will see an intersection up ahead.  Cross the road at the intersection... etc.

For a blind person, you would have to break down the short journey into a series of smaller steps.  For example: With the exit gates at your back, follow the Braille blocks for 15 metres.  You will come to a four-way intersection.  Take the left path at the 9 o’clock direction and follow the Braille blocks for 20 metres.  You will come to a busy road with a set of traffic lights.... etc.

To make a helpful verbal map, you just have to imagine yourself looking at the route from the same position as the person who will walk along it.  And you have to describe things you can feel, not see, or give directions people can follow clearly, like directions based upon the numbers on a clock face.

Now, if you have a good imagination, you can make your own verbal maps if you meet me on the street and want to help me get somewhere...
 

Vocabulary:

to be vague – To be unclear; without detail.

to be visually impaired – To be not fully sighted, but not necessarily completely blind.

Braille – This is a system of writing for blind people.  It uses dots which can be felt instead of characters which can be read.

to be concrete – To contain real details; not abstract.

an intersection – The point where two or more roads or paths meet.

Braille blocks – These are things which are put on the ground to make a path for blind people to follow.  They are usually yellow and can often be seen in and around train stations.