Dreaming in tartan about Dumbarton (is not good for you)

This week’s blog is about a recent song by a Scottish band called Dumb Instrument.  The article title is from a line of the song, “Suffering from Scottishness”.  Dumbarton is a small town near Glasgow.

The song mentions a number of stereotypical images of Scotland, including shortbread, which in the U.K. can sometimes also be called shortcake, and tartan.

The song makes fun of Scottish people’s image of themselves.  We are a small country compared to our neighbour, England, and we often feel small as a nation and lack confidence, like the character in this song: “I think I've failed when I'm only starting”.  There is also a stereotyped image that Scots drink too much alcohol and that this can lead to violent behaviour.  (That’s not a fair image, I hope!)

The song is a kind of short story.  The main character is Scottish and it begins in a taxi in Brighton, a town in England.

The main character complains to the English taxi-driver that he is depressed because he is Scottish.  He is embarrassed by stereotypical Scottish imagery like shortbread and tartan.  He is also unhappy about the Scottish national character, which he has too.  He remembers looking at himself in the mirror and realising how unhappy he was with his Scottishness.

The taxi-driver takes pity on him and tries to cheer him up by stopping the taxi and taking him for a drink in a nearby pub.  Unfortunately, the main character has too much to drink and gets violent, hitting the taxi-driver with his beer glass.  Then the taxi-driver is also suffering from Scottishness.

Here are the lyrics.  I have edited it a little to make it easier to understand.  Note that “gless” is just “glass” spoken with a Scottish accent. 

Suffering from Scottishness by Dumb Instrument

It was windy,
Trees were {bending}.
I was staring at my knee.

I was in Brighton, in a taxi.
{The} taxi driver says to me,
"What's wrong pal you look depressed?"
I said, "I'm suffering from Scottishness:

 

Oh for Christ sake!
I like shortcake,
And if I'm happy it feels fake.
I dream in tartan about Dumbarton.
I think I've failed when I'm only starting.
Oh yes, I must confess,
That I'm suffering from Scottishness.

There was one day {that} felt like something
In the toilet of a bar.
Then the {guy} , in the mirror
He says, ‘Who do you think you are?
You're nothing, you're just a mess.
You're an advert for Scottishness’."

 

{The} taxi driver he stopped the cab.
He marched me straight to the nearest pub.
His arm around me, he did his best
To make me see how my life was blessed.
So I {hit} him with my gless.
Now he's suffering from Scottishness.

 

 

Vocabulary:

to Suffer – To feel bad; to feel pain.

a stereotype (adjective: stereotypical) – A common image of something which is often too simple and inaccurate.

shortbread – A sweet biscuit from Scotland made with butter.

tartan – A multi-coloured pattern found on traditional Scottish clothing.

to be depressed – To be very unhappy.

to take pity on someone – To feel sorry for someone; to do something to help because you feel bad for someone.

to cheer someone up – To make someone feel happier.

to bend – To change shape and become curved.

to stare – To look fixedly.

pal – Friend.  In the U.K. it is okay to call a stranger “Pal” in a casual setting (if they are men).

“For Christ’s sake!” – This is an expression used to show exasperation, annoyance etc.

to confess – To admit something.

a cab – A taxi.

to march someone somewhere – To force someone to go somewhere.  For example, the policeman marched him to the police station.

to be blessed – To be in a happy situation; to be lucky or favoured by God.