It turns out that my country is a nation of superhumans. That has been nice to know. Britain is currently second in the Olympic medal table. With a population of around 65 million, we are ahead of China. Who said that Brexit would be an economic and cultural disaster? Actually, I think I did. Well, the Olympics are showing that we still have some energy in Britain after all.
But on the other hand, I have found it
quite difficult to enjoy most Olympic events.
Without being able to see the impressive sight of powerful athletes, or
graceful gymnasts, or at least the weird sight of synchronised
swimmers, I am left listening to the commentary.
I can enjoy listening to football commentary. A good commentator can paint a picture of the
players’ movements and the flow of a complicated game. For example: Maradona has the ball on the
left wing. He flicks the ball past the
full-back and makes it to the by-line.
He whips in a cross... Can Pele
get on the end of it? He jumps with
Beckenbauer. And he bullets a header
into the top left corner of the goal, past the hand of the despairing
goalkeeper Banks!
In contrast, how would a commentator
describe Olympic events? Can you even
work out which event the commentator is describing?
1
Bang! They’re running. They’re running. They’re running. And it’s all over! Jamaica win the gold!
2
He could hit a really big nail with that! Now he’s starting to spin. He’s going round and round. He lets go. Thud! Okay, here comes the man with the tape measure.
3
Boing! There she goes. She has jumped quite high. Boing! This time a jump and a twist. Boing! This time a jump and a flip. Boing! A jump and a back-flip. Boing! Oh, no. She moved her leg. The judges won’t like that.
4
She runs up. She does the funny little dance and jump. And she as landed in the sand. She looks pleased.
5
The two competitors take one final look at
each other. Now they get ready to jump,
bouncing gently on the board. There they
go. Splash! Oh, my.
Should the water be that green colour?
Perhaps you can see how difficult it is to
enjoy the Olympics from the commentary alone!
But enjoy the rest of the events.
And well done to all the medallists, especially the superhuman ones.
Brexit – British exit from the European
Union
a gymnast – Someone who does gymnastics, or
indoor events using mats, trampolines, springboards, parallel bars etc.
synchronised – of events, clocks, actions etc.,
arranged so that they occur at the same time
boing – the sound of something bouncing
Events:
1 – The 100m sprint
2 – The hammer throw
3 – The trampoline
4 – The triple jump
5 – The synchronised diving. Due to a mistake when cleaning, the pool
turned green at this year’s event.
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