I am of course talking about Premium
Friday. It is the latest initiative
from the Japanese government, which is designed to kill two birds with one
stone. Japanese companies were
encouraged to let their overworked employees leave work at 3pm that day, giving
them a much needed rest. And the workers
were encouraged to use the time off to help the Japanese economy by going on a
spending spree.
Unfortunately, I haven’t talked to a single
Japanese person who got off work early on the first Premium Friday. The initiative will be repeated on the last
Friday of every month so we will have to wait and see if the idea catches on. But like many clever government initiatives,
it will probably only be a few civil servants who get the benefit. Those government workers have got to set a
good example to everyone else by leaving early, don’t they?
Well, even if it doesn’t catch on, I
like the idea of Premium Friday. It got
me thinking about my own business. I
teach English, of course, at Nerima English (very reasonable prices, Skype
lessons also available!) How can I differentiate
my school from other English schools?
What if I was to start a Premium English service? On the last Friday of each month, I could
charge ten times the normal price. All
of the loyal civil servants have to go out and spend money to stimulate the
economy. Why not spend crazy money on
English lessons?
But to justify charging ten times the
normal price, I have to come up with a gimmick – something to explain
the price increase.
I heard about a dentist in Tokyo who
charges much more than other dentists.
To justify his premium service, he dresses like an old fashioned British
butler. And instead of having his
patients lie back on a dentists’ chair, he has them sit on his lap while
he works on their teeth. Apparently, he
is very popular with mature ladies.
Could I steal his idea? On the last Friday of every month, could I
dress in a tuxedo and teach the students English while they sit on my lap? Hmmm, it’s tempting, but I’m worried that I
might attract the wrong sort of student.
I normally offer my students a cup of tea
to sip while we go through the lesson. Could I change it to Champagne? But they would expect me to drink along with
them and I get drunk very easily on Champagne.
After the second lesson I would be drunk, and I might get complaints
about the quality of my lessons.
So how about this – on the last Friday in every
month, I give English lessons in complete darkness? I turn off all of the lights and close the
shutters to shut out any light from the street.
The students have to feel their way along the walls to get to the sofa,
following my directions. I can say that
it is special training for the ears. Too
many students get lazy and rely on gestures and facial expressions to get
through the lessons! With William’s
Premium English you can rest those tired eyes and give your ears the special
attention they deserve. And all for only
20,000 yen a lesson! And if you are an
exhausted civil servant, the wonderfully understanding teacher won’t mind if
you fall asleep. He’ll happily keep
whispering English phrases to you for 50 minutes in the dark.
That’s it.
I’m a millionaire!
Vocabulary:
to go crazy – as a slang phrase, to act in
a way which seems mad
fancy – of a shop, cake etc., high-class or
expensive-looking
to get off work – to be allowed to leave or
not to go to work
an initiative – a policy or plan for change
a spending spree – a period when one spends
a lot of money in a short time
to catch on – to become popular
a civil servant – an employee of the
government; someone who works for the state
to differentiate – to show the differences
or unique points of
a gimmick – a trick to attract business,
publicity etc.
a butler – the head servant of a house
one’s lap – when one is sitting down, the
thighs or upper legs
one of William’s Premium English lessons
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