Never growing up, never flying from the nest －いつまでも成長しないこと、いつまでも巣から飛びださないこと－

“Keep adventuring and stay not a grown up.”

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.”

From “Peter Pan”, by J.M. Barrie

When does childhood end and adulthood begin?  At what age should a human being be able to look after itself, independent of parental support?

Many legal responsibilities begin at 18.  In the UK, you can go to an adult prison, vote, and get married at that age.

But the average age at which Britons get married (for the first time) is now 32 for men and 30 for women.  The average age at which men and women leave their parents’ home is now 25.  So some psychologists in Britain argued earlier this year that young people should not be considered fully adult until the age of 24, to better reflect modern life.

I’m not so sure.  Modern life might be different, but the human body is still the same, or very nearly the same, as it was when we were given adult responsibilities earlier.  Alexander the Great became king when he was just 16.  Many historians believe that he became king by arranging the assassination of his father, Philip II.  He then conquered most of the known world before he died of a fever after a bout of drinking at age 32.  Joan of Arc was 17 years old when she led soldiers into battle against the English.  Imagine a psychologist trying to tell these two youngsters that they had better stay at home and let the adults sort things out for them.

And what of the poor parents?  If you get married at 32, have a child at36, and are expected to look after and provide for your child for 24 years, then you won’t be able to rest until you are 60!

I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at a news article I saw yesterday.  A 30 year old man in New York still lives with his parents.  He pays no rent, has no job, and does no housework.  His parents asked him to leave and he refused.  They offered to give him 1,000 dollars if he would leave, and he refused.  They hired a lawyer and gave him a legal notice requiring him to leave after 30 days.  He ignored it.  His parents have now sued him and the case will go to court.  Maybe society should have put more pressure on him to behave like an adult when he was 18.  He didn’t have to become Alexander the Great.  But Alexander the Employed would be a good start.  Or at least Alexander the Very Helpful with the Washing-up.

Ps. Mum, if you are reading this, I’ve got some laundry for you to do.  And tell Dad to send over some cash so that I can buy a new smartphone.

Vocabulary:

a grown up – an adult

to cease – to stop

a psychologist – someone who studies the human mind and human behaviour

to better reflect – to look like or represent more closely

to conquer something – to overcome and dominate by force

to sort something out – to fix or deal with something; to put something right