A soldier of the Queen’s guide to drink, sun, marriage and death ー女王陛下の軍人から、酒、日差し、結婚と死についてのアドバイスー

Britain seems to be in a permanent political crisis.  Many supporters of Brexit appear to think we can turn the clock back to a glorious British past, when British soldiers defended the largest empire in history.

So I thought I would take a look back and see whether life really was as glorious for the British in the old days as they suggest.  Rudyard Kipling interviewed British soldiers in India in the 1880s.  He collected some of the advice he heard from them and turned it into a song, or poem, called “The Young British Soldier”.  Some of the advice was to avoid strong drink, always wear your sun-hat in India, to marry an older sensible woman instead of a young pretty one who would cheat on you, and to shoot yourself if you were left wounded in Afghanistan.  Does it still sound glorious?

I have edited Kipling’s song by making it shorter and changing some lyrics to remove difficult words and slang.

An edited version of “The Young British Soldier,” by Rudyard Kipling (1890):

When the half-made recruit goes out to the East,
He acts like a babe and he drinks like a beast,
And he wonders because he is often deceased,
Before he’s fit to serve as a soldier,
A soldier of the Queen.

First mind you stay clear of the drink sellers’ huts,
For they sell you sharp knives that rot out your guts,
Drink that would eat through the steel of your gun butts,
And it’s bad for the young British soldier,
A soldier of the Queen.

But the worst of your foes is the sun overhead,
You must wear your helmet for all that is said:
If he finds you uncovered he’ll knock you down dead,
And you’ll die like a fool of a soldier.
A soldier of the Queen.

Now, if you must marry, take care she is old:
A troop-sergeant’s widow’s the nicest I’m told,
For beauty won’t help if your meals are served cold,
And love’s not enough for a soldier,
A soldier of the Queen.

If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, don’t dare,
To shoot when you catch them, you’ll hang – that I swear,
Make him take her and keep her, that’s hell for the pair,
And you’re done with the curse of a soldier,
A soldier of the Queen.

When first under fire and you’re wishful to duck,
Don’t look or pay mind to the man that is struck,
Be thankful you’re living, and trust to your luck,
And march to your front like a soldier,
A soldier of the Queen.

When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
And go to your God like a soldier,
A soldier of the Queen.


Vocabulary:

a crisis – a time of great difficulty or danger

to turn the clock back – to go back to an earlier time, an earlier way of doing things etc.

sensible – not foolish; practical and realistic

half-made – unfinished; not fully trained

deceased - dead

fit to serve – sufficiently good or able to serve

to mind something – to remember or be careful to do something

to rot something – to make something living become bad, diseased, damaged etc.

a gun-butt – the hard wooden base of an old-fashioned gun

a foe – an enemy

a widow – a woman whose husband has died

a comrade – of a soldier, another soldier fighting on the same side

to dare – to make a bold or risky decision to do something

to be under fire – to be in a state where others are shooting at you

to duck – to lower your head to avoid being hit by something; to try to avoid being hit, shot etc.