This week I have been thinking about two
small incidents. I am not sure if there
is really a strong link between them.
But one incident made me remember the other. Let us see if you can also find a link.
A number of years ago I went to Tokyo
Disneyland. I had to wait in a queue
for more than an hour to get on one of the rides. It was hot, I was tired, the food was
over-priced and poor, and no amount of jollity from men in giant rodent
costumes was cheering me up.
But whilst waiting in the queue I was able
to pass the time by observing a sumo wrestler who was also queueing. He was with his girlfriend, who was tiny by
comparison and very beautiful. They
seemed to be having a better time than me and were laughing and joking
together.
When I eventually got to the front of the
queue and got into the ride, I found that the space for passengers was quite
limited. It was a little uncomfortable
for me, and I only weigh 55 kg. I was
sure that the sumo was going to have real difficulties getting on the ride. I wanted to hang around and see what
happened. I had an image of the sumo
wrestler being forced to wait for an hour and a half only to be told he
couldn’t get on, and then becoming furious and charging around
Disneyland like Godzilla, destroying everything in his path. That had to be more interesting than a two
minute roller coaster ride.
Unfortunately, I was also accompanied by my
partner and she was still enthusiastic about getting on. So we got on the ride and I didn’t see what
happened with the sumo.
The point of the story is this: In
facilities built for public use, it’s one size fits all. Amusement parks, bus companies, airlines and
so on don’t build seats of various sizes for various body shapes. You have to squeeze in as best you can into a
seat for the average person. So large
people can lose out.
But sometimes they have the advantage. If you get on an aeroplane, the airline will
check the weight of your bags carefully.
There will be a maximum weight limit and if you exceed the limit
then you have to pay an extra fee. This
makes sense, since for every extra kilogram of weight brought on board, the
aeroplane will have to use extra fuel to carry everything aloft and the
costs for the airline will increase. But
if that’s true, why don’t fat people have to pay extra money to board? Why don’t I get a “55 kg or less”
discount? On a plane, the sumo wrestler
will be getting better value for money for his ticket.
Recently, however, some thin passengers
seem to have cottoned on to the inherent injustice of this system. They are turning themselves into sumo
wrestlers in order to escape the costs of bringing large amounts of carry on
baggage.
A few days ago there was a great story
about a minor celebrity from my home town of Glasgow. He is a singer in a boy band.
He was due to get on a flight from London
to Glasgow, which is a short flight of about an hour. When he tried to carry two bags onto the
plane, he was told that he would have to pay an extra 45 pounds for bringing on
a second bag. Being a clever Scotsman,
he came up with a plan to avoid the charge.
He emptied one of his bags, which contained his clothes. He then put on all of the clothes. He was thus wearing six t-shirts, six jumpers
and four pairs of trousers and looked like a sumo. He then stuffed his other bag into the empty
one. He got on the plane and avoided
paying any extra charge for the second bag.
Unfortunately, during the flight he
continued to wear his sumo disguise, or all of the extra layers of
clothing. He began to feel unwell,
vomited on the plane and showed all of the symptoms of heat exhaustion. When the plane landed, he had to be rushed to
hospital. Although his health recovered,
his dignity may have suffered permanent damage.
... So was there really any link between
these two stories? Sometimes thin people
have the advantage, and sometimes fat people do? Going to Tokyo Disneyland is just as annoying
as getting on a flight, except that the food is worse and the waiting seems
longer? Okay, I’m not sure there really
was a link. It’s 35 degrees and I think
my brain may be malfunctioning.
But I hope you enjoyed the stories anyway.
Vocabulary:
a queue : a line formed by people, cars
etc. waiting their turn for something
jollity – the quality of being
cheerful. This word is often used at
Christmas.
a rodent – a group of mammals, which
includes mice and rats
to be furious – to be violently angry
to exceed – to go over something, like a
limit, maximum size etc.
to carry something aloft – to carry
something into the air
to cotton on – This is a casual phrase,
meaning to figure out or come to understand something. For example: He cottoned on to his wife’s
affair.
to be inherent – to be a permanent or
essential characteristic
carry on baggage – luggage or bags which
are carried on to a plane by a passenger, as opposed to check in baggage, which
is stored in the hold
to malfunction – to fail to function
normally
No comments:
Post a Comment