Anyone who lives in Japan must have heard
of the company Book Off. They are well
known for offering cheap books which have already been read by a previous
owner.
I was amazed recently to find a store in
Koenji called “Liquor Off”. Since I was
strolling around Koenji with my wife and son early in the morning, the store
was closed. I would have liked to go in
and find out how their business works. The name seems to suggest that, like Book Off,
they offer second-hand goods at a discounted price. But how can you offer second-hand liquor?
It made me recall a comedy sketch by a
Scottish comedian named Ivor Cutler, which is called, “Old Cups of Tea”. If the store works like the tea seller in the
comedy sketch, then a visit to the store would be a bit like this:
“Hello, Sir,” says a smiling staff
member. “Would you like to try a second-hand
glass of beer?”
The customer, a first time visitor, is puzzled. “A second-hand glass of beer? What do you mean?”
“Well, you see,” says the staff member,
“Some people might try a new kind of beer and find that they don’t like
it. Or someone might feel like a glass
of beer and then change their minds after drinking only half of it. These people can bring the unfinished glass
of beer to our store, and we will buy it off them for a nominal price. Then we sell it to customers who are looking
for a bargain.”
“Gosh,” says the customer. “How much does it cost for a second-hand
glass of beer?”
“Well that depends, Sir. We have 200 yen glasses of beer, 100 yen
glasses of beer, 50 yen glasses of beer and, well, we have free glasses of
beer.”
“You give away free beer? Give me a glass of that then!”
The staff member frowns. “Well, if you really want the free beer, Sir,
then here you are.” He reaches into a
cupboard behind the counter, checks the label, and lifts a half-full glass of
beer to the table.
The customer drinks a mouthful. Then he coughs and splutters. “What are you trying to do to me? This tastes disgusting! It tastes like it was poured months ago!”
“That’s right, Sir. That beer has been sitting in our cupboard
since November. That’s why it’s
free. Would you like to buy a more
expensive beer, which was left unfinished at a bar in Koenji just last night?”
“Yes,” says the customer. “Give me that one. I need to take the taste of that really old
glass of beer out of my mouth.”
“That will be 200 yen, please, Sir. And do you still want the rest of that free
glass of beer?”
*
No doubt Liquor Off doesn’t work like
this. Perhaps they buy second hand,
unopened bottles of alcohol which people receive as gifts and don’t want. If anyone has been to the store, please let
me know how it works.
Vocabulary:
to stroll around – to walk around in a leisurely
way
second-hand – having had a previous owner;
not new
nominal – of a fee, price, etc., very small
or far below the real cost
Gosh! – an expression of surprise or
amazement
to frown – to have a facial expression where
wrinkles appear on the forehead, showing a negative feeling
to splutter – to blow out air sharply
several times
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