Liz Truss Makes a Pig’s Ear of the British Economy －トラス首相は英国経済を豚の耳に変える－

The early 19^th century French leader, Napoleon Bonaparte, once described the British as a nation of small shopkeepers.  He didn’t mean it as a compliment.  He meant that the British were unphilosophical, unexciting and uncultured, and as conservative as a small scale butcher or baker. 

In a way he was right.  Most countries have experienced revolutions or radical political swings in the modern era.  France swung from Louis XVI to Robespierre.  Germany swung from the avant-garde era of Weimar to Hitler’s Reich.  Meanwhile, Britain avoided revolution or wild political and cultural swings, and just quietly got on with business. 

At least we were quietly and very conservatively getting on with business until Brexit.  That was a pretty significant and radical political change, which seems to have given politicians a taste for sudden leaps into the unknown.  It is as if Britain’s political philosophy had changed from, “Keep calm and carry on,” to “Move fast and break stuff.” 

Our new prime minister, Liz Truss, is certainly keen to move fast and break stuff.  She made radical tax cuts so quickly that she didn’t let independent economists forecast the effects of her changes, which caused serious doubt.  And she seems to have broken the confidence of the international financial community in Britain’s medium term future.  She has cut taxes for everyone, especially the super-rich.  And she is paying for these tax cuts with a huge increase in borrowing.  Clearly this cannot continue for very long.  So the financial markets are no longer willing to buy British debt, or give Britain cheap loans. 

Liz Truss’s plan is to grow the economy so quickly that the massive tax cuts will pay for themselves.  To follow Napoleon’s analogy of a nation of small shopkeepers, Britain’s economy before Liz Truss was like a butcher’s business.  We were selling pork and bacon to the world at a steady price, but the business was growing only slowly.  Liz Truss wanted faster growth, so she shot half of the pigs and replaced them with new, genetically modified pigs with tiny bodies and enormous ears.  She is gambling that the rest of the world can be persuaded to eat the new, pure British product for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

Pig’s ear and chips, anyone?

 

It’s Raining Cats and Elephants－土砂降り！猫と象が降っている。－

 1 - It is raining cats and (?)

(elephants, so please wear a hard hat)

(kittens, but don’t worry – they are mostly landing on their feet.)

(dogs, so please take an umbrella.)

2 - We can kill two birds with one (?)

(grenade.)

(cat.)

(stone.)

3 - He has let the cat out of the (?)

(tree, where he just killed two birds.)

(cloud, which is why it is raining cats.)

(bag, so it is no longer a secret.)

4 - The early bird gets (?)

(sleepy in the afternoon.)

(lost in the dark.)

(the worm.)

5 Signs the Japanese Tourist Board Should Avoid －日本観光局が避けるべき5つ看板－

With the coronavirus situation getting better, and Japan’s borders starting to open up, more foreign tourists will start arriving again.  No doubt the local tourist boards are taking the time to renovate and install new signs and guidance to prepare for the influx.  Here are five signs which the Japanese Tourist Board should avoid.

 

Nara Park:

Deer crackers can be fed to the deer, or make a cheap lunch for budget travellers

 

Mount Fuji:

Keep off the lava

 

Kinkakuji:

Yukio Mishima brand cigarette lighters are available from the gift shop

 

Tokyo Sky Tree:

Access to the smog observation platform is available for a modest surcharge

 

Snow Monkey Park:

There are plenty of snow monkeys inhabiting the area, which can be seen bathing in the hot spring here.  So please feel free to take one home with you

Home Delivery Coals to Newcastle －ニューカッスルまでのホームデリバリー石炭－

A few weeks ago it was reported that Domino’s Pizza was pulling out of Italy.  The American fast food chain is a successful worldwide brand, which sells American style pizzas, including “meat feast” and “Hawaiian style” pizzas.  The restaurant chain has, for example, 1,200 stores in the UK and Ireland. 

Domino’s entered the Italian market in 2015, and by this year had 23 outlets in Italy.  They tried to compete with local pizzerias by focussing on the convenience of their home delivery service.  Unfortunately for them, during the pandemic, many local pizzerias had to switch to offering home delivery too.  The Italian arm of Domino’s has filed for bankruptcy, and their stores in the homeland of pizza will all close. 

There are rumors that Domino’s are not perturbed by their setback, and are looking for further investment opportunities.  They are looking at the possibility of exporting American style chopsticks to China, of selling American style sand to Saudi Arabia, and shipping American style ice to Iceland.

Vocabulary:

coals to Newcastle – Newcastle is a town in England which used to be famous for coal.  So the phrase, “carrying coals to Newcastle,” came to mean foolishly trying to provide goods to a market where those goods were already plentiful and not needed.

to be perturbed by something – to be made anxious or unsettled by something

 

A Woman’s Heart, the Autumn Sky －女心と秋の空－（ジャパンタイムズに記事が掲載されました）

I wrote an article for the Japan Times about autumn in Japan, and why I think it is a more romantic season than spring. 

I mention the Japanese proverb, “Onnagokoro to aki no sora.”  It basically means that woman’s heart is as fickle as the autumn weather. 

I also included some autumn haiku, including this one:

 

In September,

The sky wears,

A lined kimono

—Kobayashi Issa (1763-1828) 

You can read the article here:

ジャパンタイムズ記事リンク

 

 

Vocabulary:

fickle - changing frequently, especially regarding someone’s loyalties or affections