After Superman’s messy divorce from Louis Lane, he got drunk one night before flying to the scene of a crime. He flew into a building. He currently has no license to fly or carry a lethal weapon (his laser eyes). So he goes to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and is currently unavailable for crime-fighting duties.
Batman has come down with a high fever, and has lost his sense of taste and sense of smell. He is also unavailable for duty.
Wonderwoman is currently in dispute with the government over her sexual discrimination claim. Her lawyer says that she wants equal pay with male superheroes, and she doesn’t see why she has to fight crime in a sexy miniskirt uniform. She is currently unavailable for duty.
So the government have turned to a new superhero for help: Yada Man!
Yada Man’s superpower is to forcefully say “Yada!” to any possible threat or unknown situation. “Yada” is a Japanese phrase, which could mean “It’s no good,” or “It’s unacceptable,” or “No way!” in English.
“Give me one billion Dollars, or I’ll blow up Tokyo!” says the supervillain.
“Yada!”
“I have stolen a nuclear bomb, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” laughs the criminal mastermind.
“Yada!”
“We have come to take over your planet. Take us to your leader,” say the aliens.
“Yada!”
Yada Man is so annoying that villains cannot bear it, and they quickly surrender to his power.
*
I imagined the superhero Yada Man when spending an afternoon listening to my son in a bad mood.
“Where shall we go for lunch? How about the Chinese restaurant?”
“Yada!”
“Let’s read a book.”
“Yada!”
“Why don’t you finish your homework now. Then you won’t have to do it later.”
“Yada!”
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