Thursday, 6 April 2017

How Jan found Paradise covered in snow -ヤンさんはどのようにして雪に覆われた天国を見つけたのですか-

I read a very funny news story a few days ago about a traveller who made a big mistake.  Unfortunately, the BBC article was very poorly written.  Many of the important details were left out or unclear.  The article said that this happened to a student from Holland.  But what kind of student?  If it was a high school student, then he deserves more sympathy for his mistake.  But I suppose it was a university student.  There was no name given, probably to save the poor student’s blushes.  So let’s call him Jan.  There were very few quotes or explanations in the article, so I’ll have to guess some of the details.  But the main events actually happened.

In summary, Jan wanted to take a relaxing holiday by the beach.  So he decided to go to Australia and looked on line for some flights from Amsterdam to Sydney.  The flights were all quite expensive until he found a single flight that was much cheaper than the others.  Oddly, it seemed to get to Australia in a very roundabout way.  Rather than having to transfer somewhere in the middle, like Dubai or Singapore, the flight transferred at Toronto in Canada.
“That’s strange,” thought Jan.  “Usually flights from Europe to Australia go East and South.  You have to go south at some point, since Australia is on the opposite side of the Earth.  This one starts by flying thousands of miles due West.  I suppose the inconvenience of the detour is why it is so cheap.  But at this price I can’t complain.”
Jan packed his bags full of all the correct gear – sunglasses, shorts, sun block, a beach ball, and plenty of Australian dollars.  Satisfied that he had prepared for every eventuality, he boarded the flight, and landed some hours later in Toronto, Canada.
What did Jan think as he waited to change planes?  Did he check his tickets again, and wonder at the amazingly short flight that was going to take him all the way around the world to Sydney?
“It says here that the flight takes only two hours and twenty minutes.  That can’t be accurate.  It must be some bizarre effect of flying through so many time zones.  I’ve heard about that.  You can fly for twenty hours and arrive at roughly the same time you started.  Everything’s fine.  I can’t wait to see those Aussie beauties in their bikinis on Bondi Beach!”
Did Jan feel a sliver of doubt as he saw the plane he had to board?  It was not a huge jumbo jet, but a tiny little plane.  If he did have doubts, he still got on board without questioning any of the airline staff.
Two hours later he looked down at the icy, snow covered beaches around Sydney, Nova Scotia.  Then the plane landed at the little airport of the less famous Sydney: the one on a cold, windswept Canadian island, the one with a population of 31,000.  It began to snow hard, the flakes swirling around in a biting wind.
Well, what would you have done?
Jan looked at his sunglasses, his shorts, his beach ball, his sun block, and his Australian dollars.  He looked at the blizzard which was beginning to build outside.  And he turned around and took a flight to Toronto, and then another flight back to Amsterdam.  And perhaps went to bed, thinking about the proverb, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.”
I like Jan.  I’m glad that the BBC article didn’t give his name.  I imagine that he will never be allowed to forget his misadventure.  In forty years his family and friends will still be teasing him about his mistake.
“Hey Jan!  Could you pick up a packet of tissues from 7/11?  No need to go to Sydney.  The 7/11 at the bottom of the street will be fine.”
“Where’s Jan.  He’s quite late, isn’t he?”
“Yeah.  He probably got on the wrong bus and is half way to Nova Scotia by now.”
Thanks, Jan.  I wish you well on your future travels.  You put a smile on my face. 

Vocabulary:
to save one’s blushes – to prevent one from becoming embarrassed
due (west) – directly (to the west)

a detour – a long way around; an alternate route, longer than the originally planned journey
gear – equipment; things

an eventuality – a possible event; something which might happen
accurate - correct
bizarre - strange

Aussie – slang for Australian
a sliver – a tiny piece or fragment

to swirl – to move in a twisting pattern, like smoke in a light wind
to tease someone – to make fun of someone; to laugh at someone
 


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