Wouldn’t it be nice if life were like an
escalator? You’d just get on at the
bottom and it would carry you effortlessly upwards, ever upwards towards the
top.
That seems to be the dream many parents
have for their children. To get a good
job you need to go to a good university.
To go to a good university you have to go to a good high school. To go to a good high school... you have to go
to a good nursery school. So you put
all your effort into winning a place for your child at a good nursery school,
and he or she will have their future secured.Because many parents have the same idea, the elite nursery schools have to devise ways to pick out the best kids to give a place to. You may need a letter of recommendation. There may be an interview, where the staff judge the parents. There may even be tests for the children themselves.
I’m not joking. Someone told me recently about an elite
cram school for nursery school age kids.
The school is supposed to help prepare the kids to become actors. There is an interview and selection process
where the most promising children are selected for the school. The selection process can take place before
the children are even two years old.
Can you really be a failure in life –
losing your chance to get on the escalator that goes to the top – because you
did something wrong when you were one year old?
What did you do wrong? Did you wet
your nappy, perhaps? Did you try to
put the square block into the round hole?
Or didn’t you have a cute enough smile?And why should selection begin as late as one year old? Why not weed out the bad kids earlier? I imagine in ten years time, Japanese cram schools will be selecting the smartest students while they are still in their mothers’ wombs.
Tap, tap, tap! The examiner strikes his fingers against the
nervous mother’s belly. He leans his
head towards the bump. “Now, Taro. One kick for ’Yes’, two kicks for ‘No’. Is Tokyo the capital of Japan?”
This week a group of British academics
tried to convince the government to spend less effort teaching young people to
be successful, and more effort teaching them to be happy. They said that, whilst not having money or a
good job can be a factor in making people unhappy, issues other than money are
just as important. These include having
friends, being able to keep a long-term relationship, staying healthy, and
feeling that society is fair. So they
argue that learning to make friends, eat healthily, play sports, and maintain
relationships are just as important as learning to do maths or use a
computer. Maybe the super-competitive
parents and super-competitive schools should remember that.
Or maybe I’m just jealous because I fell
off the escalator when I was 1. I just
stared at the square block in confusion and then peed into the round
hole.
Vocabulary:
a nursery school – a school for young
children, usually before the age of five
to secure – to guarantee; to make certain
to devise – to think of; to create
a cram school – a school for extra study
after regular school has finished
promising – showing or having a bright
future; being likely to do well
a nappy – British English for a diaper;
something worn by young children and some adults who cannot use a toilet
to wet one’s nappy – to urinate into a
nappy
to weed (someone or something) out – to
remove the unwanted (someone or something) from the group
a womb – the part of a woman’s body where
children stay until they are born
a bump – an area which sticks out from a
flat surface
an academic – someone who researches or
lectures at a university
competitive - having an environment where
people try to get ahead of others
to pee – a childish way of saying to
urinate
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